Life Out of Costume
by Helicopters
Summary: AkuRoku - Axel is going through the motions of life when he develops an interest in a cosplaying barista who gives him his daily dose of caffeine.
1. Part 1

I don't own KH.

* * *

**Life Out of Costume**

Part 1

* * *

Anything on the top of the pile would do. Top of the pile means that it at least has some chance of being clean. Don't look at me like that, it's the butt-ass crack of dawn and honestly what I wear to work isn't exactly top priority for me right now. I need me some caffeine!

Hi, I'm Axel, I work at a thankless (and it may only be thankless because I don't really do anything) job, 9 to 5, downtown. Yeah, I'm one of those suit and tie wearing assholes.

This morning is off to a great start already. I should really video tape my daring escapes from my apartment each morning as my balancing act between a pop tart, bag, cell phone (that I could have just as easily put in my bag), and locking my door takes place. I impress myself some times. I honestly think it's harder for me to get going in the morning knowing that my roommate is still fast asleep and doesn't need to even attempt to get up until somewhere around noon. And that's on an early day.

As I already told you, I do nothing at work. I'm an assistant to some director for the company. He does nothing, so therefore I don't need to assist him in 'doing nothing'. My day is spent entertaining myself by surfing the internet and watching my co-workers. I can tell you now that half of them are closet QVC shoppers, bunch of obese shut-ins that they are. Being 22, I'm easily the youngest employee in our unit by 10 years, therefore causing them to fuss over me and live vicariously through my antics. These people are ridiculous.

About that caffeine… as a morning ritual I gather up Xigbar from the mail desk. His hangover looks worst than usual. "Morning sunshine!"

He looks up at me with a mild hint of disgust and just pulls his hood over his head. "What time is it?"

"9:15."

"Pffft! It's too early to be here. What the fuck is wrong with people?" He pushes his chair back with resign and works himself up and out of his seat.

I don't say anything because it will just trigger some rant about how the people in our office are all just sheep, complacency killing us slowly, and the uniformed masses snuffing out any creativity that an artistic soul like him may possess. Yeah, I can't take that kind of preaching before lunch.

We make our way off the elevator and out of the building; Starbucks is only a block away. "Dude, it's only Wednesday, the rest of the week is going to be rough." Thinking out loud happens to me a lot. At the moment I'm in a glass is half empty kind of mood.

"I hear you on that." Xigbar agrees and wipes a hand down the side of his face. "We should get Wednesdays off. It would be like time off for good behavior, ya know?" I laugh and watch my feet as we cross the street. "Like, we made it in for two whole days in a row, it's break time, take a day for yourself, come back for Thursday and Friday, and we'll give you TWO more days off!" I can tell he's silently contemplating this idea, most likely wondering why this system isn't already put into effect. "I could do that."

"But then you'd have to be here longer on the days that you were supposed to come to work."

His face screws up like he just ate something particularly sour, "Well fuck that."

I just laugh at him and we push our way into Starbucks. As usual there's a line, because nothing can be easy. Glass half empty mood, remember? "What did you end up doing last night anyway?"

"Well," and I brace myself for some circus of a story that is undoubtedly about to spill forth from his mouth, until that is, I spot him. Xigbar's blah blah blahing is pushed to the back of my mind as I lean out of line to catch a glimpse of the cashier taking orders. He's probably about 19, much shorter than myself and has one of those completely trendy emo-fag hair cuts. But holy crap does this kid have some amazing eyes. "… I mean really, come on, I'd say sacrificing a few hours of sleep for that is justifiable, wouldn't you?"

"Uh, yeah sure." My attention is brought back to Xigbar, I'll make it up to the front of the line eventually, or maybe not. This cashier kid is interesting but damn is he slow as hell.

"Next time I'm dragging your ass along with us."

I pull out my wallet to see what I'm working with here. I sigh as I see my dreams of a venti fly out the window when I realize I don't have enough. "I can't afford a large coffee, don't think I could do what you do all week long." I show him my sparse money collection to drive the point home.

Xigbar shoves my hands back at me, "Dude, this one is on me."

I raise an eyebrow at him, well this is a first. "Oh, what's the occasion?"

"You didn't listen to a word I was saying earlier, did you?"

I pretend to look offended and gasp, "That's not true!" His face is the picture of 'right, I'm not buying this crap so stop trying to sell it to me', "I did catch something about petty larceny and slurpees."

"Wow, you're tall." It was that kid, in our bickering we managed to make it to the head of the line.

Xigbar rolled his eyes and glanced up at the menu. "Way to go Captain obvious." Sora, at least his name tag said his name was Sora, looked down with his brow furrowed. "I'll have a large- you know what that is right? None of that venti crap, LARGE caramel macchiato, two of these here giant cookies, and Axel? What do you want?" Xigbar turned to me expectantly.

I looked at Sora apologetically, "I'm sorry, he's actually retarded," I gestured towards my eye-patched companion, "can I get a venti chai latte?" The kid did look grateful for the explanation of Xigbar's behavior.

True to his word Xigbar paid, muttering the whole time about how I was a douche bag under his breath.

* * *

"I just don't know what to do any more. How do these situations keep finding me and getting me involved?!" That ladies and gentlemen is Aerith, one of my coworkers that works in the web unit.

"I know! You just have the worst luck!" This is her close personal confidant, (read as whine-to-buddy) Yuffie. No matter what story Aerith feeds her, she will eat it up with a shovel.

Shit, they're looking at me. Must look busy…

"Axel," Aerith leans over, "you're a guy…"

_Thanks for noticing._

"… am I being irrational? Isn't he just being a jerk?"

"Yes, you're being irrational." Crap, now I've gotten involved.

Completely outraged on Aerith's behalf, Yuffie gets right in my face, "How can you say that?! He's seeing someone else, he should have asked her first about it!"

"Listen," I stand up, hoping to make an escape towards the men's room where they can't follow me, "Cloud can date/see/fuck anyone he wants to without having to run it by Aerith. If she wants him to get her permission first, or even to not do it at all, then she is looking for a completely different relationship then what she's telling him they're in." Before either of them can even open their mouths to interject I add, "Besides, aren't they supposed to be dating in secret? We're not even supposed to know anything about it." With this I shot a pointed look at Aerith and then I flee.

The background on Aerith and Cloud is this: I personally think that Cloud is embarrassed to be seen in public with her. Aerith thinks, and will tell you otherwise.

Aerith was married to a man, whom I've never met, named Zack. She found out that Zack was cheating on her, so she began seeing Cloud, who worked in her office. This is all before I came to the office. Eventually Aerith left Zack, but the relationship she had with Cloud was never public knowledge. Aerith's excuse for dating Cloud in secret was that she didn't want commitment, she just wanted someone around for fun without obligation. This is what she tells herself.

Here we are three years and one abortion later and Cloud has started seeing someone else, who happens to work in our office, while he's still seeing Aerith on the side. Yeah, drama. Cloud has no idea that anyone in the office knows about him and Aerith, but little does he know that she's told nearly everyone 'in confidence'.

Now that you're caught up on the 'need to know' background of their sordid and twisted little love affair you can understand my point. Fuck buddy no commitment.

It's Friday and the day just won't go by fast enough for my tastes. I came in late this morning, as I usually do on Fridays, because I end up being progressively late as the week goes on. If anyone cared to notice maybe I'd make more of an effort, but until they do, why bother?

Not wanting to go back to my desk immediately once I've finished my 'business', I find myself back at Starbucks. There's no line and the place is relatively deserted due to the hour. As I approach the counter I notice that Sora, the kid on register from Wednesday, is talking to some other coffee jockey using big hand motions. I'm normally complete crap with names, but this kid's name just kind of stuck there.

Sora seems to be explaining/reenacting some story and it's clear to anyone that he's been sampling a good amount of coffee today. "… and I can't wait to wear it just to see her face!"

"Customer." The other kid points out and Sora turns towards me. You know how you can just tell when someone is gay? Like they ooze gayness from their person? Yes? Well this was Sora. If this kid isn't gay, then… nothing, this kid is gay, no question.

"Hey!" The kid is practically twitching with energy. "How's your retarded friend today?"

It takes me a minute to realize that he's referring to Xigbar, but eventually I have to laugh, a little flattered that he remembers me at all. "Fine, the meds have kicked back in and he's back to wearing his helmet in public again."

"Oh shit man, I'm sorry, I didn't think he was really retard- I mean handicapped."

I look at the kid skeptically, _okay_… maybe Sora's a bit retarded himself. "Uh, I was just kidding." I can practically feel the heat from Sora's blush from across the counter. He looks kind of cute.

What.the.fuck?

Kind of cute?

Quick instance of putting my sexuality, my completely STRAIGHT sexuality back into check.

"Can I get a venti chai?"

"Sure." Sora rings up the order and his other emo co-worker gets it ready. Seriously, is it a pre-requisite to work at Starbucks you have to be emo?

The entire way back to work I am thinking about Sora. I admit that I overreacted a bit, ok a lot, to finding him a bit attractive. Just because I can admit that another man is attractive doesn't mean that I want to get in his pants. To further prove my point, I stare at every woman's chest, old, young, droopy, lopsided, it doesn't matter, I openly stare.

Aerith and Yuffie don't talk to me for the rest of the day. At least something is going right.

* * *

My roommate, Demyx, is rifling through the couch cushions looking for his lighter. I refuse to tell him that it's sitting in my pocket. What? I really like this lighter.

"You're going to be late", I remind him hoping to get him to leave so I can finally have a cigarette. The only thing keeping me from enjoying one right now is the fact that the only way I have of lighting said cigarette is by using the lighter that is in my pocket, the lighter that Demyx is currently looking for.

He appears to give up his furious search in defeat. His band is playing at some club a few blocks away. Being only a few blocks away means that poor Demyx has to lug his bass over there instead of getting a ride. Good, suffer. Yes, I'm bitter. Demyx works at a catering company part-time and has some side gigs with his band a couple nights a week. He makes enough money to pay the bills and to feed himself. That's all he wants, and he loves his job and his band. Now do you see why I'm bitter?

"Alright, I'm heading out." Thankfully he has better luck at finding his keys, "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, yeah" I wave him off in dismissal. I usually go to his shows for lack of something else better to do. Don't get me wrong, his band is good, they're never going anywhere, never going to get a record deal or have a million adoring fans, but they are good and that's not what they want anyway.

I head down to the bar that Demyx's band is playing at around 10:30 and have a pretty good buzz going on by midnight. The band members' girlfriends are all there, as usual, and so are their groupies. Oh god, you can laugh with me, they are pathetic. These 'groupies' are about five or so people that come to every show, no matter where it is. They're harmless and will just hang back and generally scoff at anyone who didn't know of the band 'back in the day'. Like that's something to be proud of. The band sucked 'back in the day' and 'back in the day' was only like three years ago.

By 1:00 I'm walking out of the bar with a girl that I'm pretty sure wasn't at the bar to see the band, and only there to get drunk.

A little after 2:00 said girl is leaving my apartment, looking a little worse for wear, but still satisfied, if I do say so myself.

I don't hear Demyx come home.

* * *

I avoid going to Demyx's shows and that particular bar for about a week, just in case. I have some serious regrets about bringing that girl back to my place, I must have been a little drunker than I thought. I don't feel comfortable with my one night stands knowing where I live. Here's to hoping this girl is a) sane enough not to be a stalker or b) a drunk who blanks out important information.

Sora hasn't been at Starbucks on the mornings that I manage to make it to work somewhat on time and I can't decide whether or not I'm thankful for this or not. I'm just about to start thinking that he's avoiding me out of embarrassment from our last encounter when I see him while getting an afternoon pick-me up.

"I thought you'd quit." I tell him as I lean against the counter. It's again around 3:00 in the afternoon, that magical time when the place seems to be deserted, which also happens to be my afternoon cigarette break.

Sora smiles, and seems genuinely happy with my statement. "It's nice to know that you remembered me."

"Well you remembered my retarded friend, it's only fair."

He blushes a bit at the reference, "I switched my shift, I don't work mornings any more."

"Chai latte." I throw that out there as I'm opening my wallet.

"Venti?" He asks and I nod. "This one is on the house." I look up in time to see his co-worker shoot him a 'wtf?' glance and I just smile.

"Thanks."

* * *

"Axel, when's the last time you went on a date?"

_Jesus you harpy, leave me the fuck alone. _

I look away from my computer and over my shoulder at her. "I'm not going to go out with you Yuffie."

"Like I'd ever go out with you any way."

"You know you want me." I waggle my eyebrows at her for effect, when in fact I wouldn't even touch her with _your_ dick.

Aerith isn't in today, so Yuffie must be bored. "No, really, why don't you date?"

"Who says that I don't date, just because I don't broadcast it around the office, like you seem to think I should, doesn't mean that I don't date."

"I do think the lady protests too much." Xigbar, of course has to walk by at this precise moment. "Maybe he dates ugly chicks like you, or maybe he dates men and is embarrassed to tell the world he's gay?"

It kind of hurts when my head falls down to bang on my keyboard, I hate him right now.

"He's not gay, I would know. I have EXECELLENT gay-dar." Yuffie reassures him. Notice that she doesn't dispute the claim that she's ugly? That's called being resigned to your physical limitations kids. "I mean look at him. A gay man would not wear a black belt with a brown pair of shoes. Look, his socks don't even match one another."

"Fuck off Yuffie."

Xigbar laughs and leans back doing an excellent impression of a feminine fashionista, and in the campiest voice states that she's right and I'm a hot mess. They share a pretty good laugh at my expense but drop the subject nonetheless.

"Come on lover boy, let's get some fuel." Xigbar switches off my monitor and pulls my cigarettes from my jacket pocket. "You owe me a coffee."

"And a smoke apparently."

"Yeah well, what are friends for?"

We make our way along our usual path to Starbucks all the while Xigbar is telling me about this party that he's having at his apartment this weekend and how I should show up because there's this girl with a nice ass and a bad reputation that he wants to introduce me to. I think he took Yuffie too seriously.

Sora is working again, with the same co-worker as before. "3:00 cigarette and a venti chai?" He asks as Xigbar and I enter.

"Of course!" I smile at him and hear Xigbar make a strange laugh/snort sort of noise behind me.

Sora manages to take Xigbar's order without a repeat of their previous meeting and slips me a cookie as we leave.

Now with a cup of mood enhancer and a cookie in my hands the afternoon is looking better already. "I think that little fag has a crush on you." Xigbar says out of nowhere.

"What little fag? Sora?"

"Oh, we're on first name basis with him now are we?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "Maybe Yuffie was wrong, maybe you do bat for the other team, or at least play both sides."

"Yeah, you've figured me out. That cookie that he slipped me was queer speak for 'meet me after my shift'. God, you're as bad as those gossiping bitches on my floor." I munch angrily on my cookie that just doesn't taste quite as good as it had moments ago.

"Whatever man, you're not denying it."

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm straight, you'll have to look elsewhere for your prom date." I tell him as we separate for our own desks.

He walks away laughing his ass off and calls back over his shoulder, "Too bad man, I bet he would have let you top too!" Then he's gone, leaving me on an elevator filled with people who are now, thanks to him, giving me a mixture of questioning looks.

* * *

"Dem?"

"What?"

"Have you ever thought I was gay?"

"No."

…

"Have you ever thought you were gay, Axel?"

"No."

"Then where's the problem?"

* * *

As much as it killed me, I avoided going to Starbucks for the rest of the week. It was strange, even though I didn't go there, I still thought of Sora.

Saturday rolled around and found me dragging Demyx out of our apartment to go to Xigbar's party. Don't ask my why I was going to it in the first place, because I don't know myself.

"This is that stoner from your work in the mail room, right?" Dem was all up for heading out to a random house party, not like he ever wouldn't be.

"Asks the man who just shared a joint with me before leaving the apartment."

He makes a noise of indignation, "lighting up to take the edge off of what could be a dull party and spending your days completely fried are two totally different things."

"Point."

Xigbar's apartment isn't far from the bar that I last saw Dem's band in, and we have to walk by it. I slink inside my jacket a little bit on the odd chance that my random one night stand could be in there and have the ability to peer through brick walls.

We show up 'fashionably late' though it's not at all on purpose. Truth be told, I'm glad we didn't arrive any earlier because I hate those awkward pre-party moments, before people get enough alcohol in them to loosen up a bit, of forced socialization. I feel around for my contribution to the festivities in a paper bag at my hip as we make our way up the stairs of his building.

The party is in full swing, and spilling out into the hallways. His neighbors must love him. "Axel! Good to see you without the tie, man!" Xigbar, three sheets to the wind and going for more throws his arm around my shoulders. "Demy Moore! Good of you to come too man."

"'Sup?" Demyx smiles, clearly amused by Xigbar and not at all put off by being referred to as a woman.

Xigbar steers me around towards the kitchen, while Demyx follows closely behind. I have fleeting thoughts of getting to sneak a peek under his eye patch when he passes out, but they are forced out of my mind as I feel my head being smashed into a pair of breasts.

"Axel this is Yuna. Yuna, this is Axel. Have fun." Xigbar waves as he walks away smiling with pride like he's just accomplished what no other man could do.

Demyx is making sounds like he's choking down some laughter behind me and Yuna is just smiling at me like what just happened is a normal occurrence. "Hey, sorry about that, I had nothing to do with it." Yuna smiles and offers her hand.

"Trust me, I didn't think you did." I state shaking her hand.

"Drink?" Yuna holds her drink in front of her as an offer.

I salute her with my own bottle. "Came prepared."

* * *

I swear this girl must think she's drowning, that's the only way to explain why she's clinging onto and hanging off of me the way she is. Yuna is spread out below me and her brown hair is messed up and wildly splayed around her head. The thought that her hair resembles Sora's like that briefly flashes through my mind, but I just as quickly push it out.

Her mouth is roaming my face and at this point I'm just trying to finish the job to get the hell away from this chick. How do some girls go from being completely normal, relatively intelligent human beings, to being completely sexually depraved feigns in the bedroom? Don't get me wrong, a few kinks here and there I'm all up for, but this chick seems like she wants to eat me whole!

_Fuck this!_

I roughly detach her from myself and flip her over on her stomach where her arms can't grapple at me any more. "Oh yeah! Unnnn!" She clearly didn't mind the switch up of positions and I can only wonder what the hell is wrong with this chick as she presses her face down into the bed and props her ass up right in my face.

Wondering if I'm not drunk enough for this any more, I feel her guiding my cock to her entrance… only it's not the one I'd just been abusing. "Come on Alex", she whines signaling that I'm not going fast enough for her.

_Alex? Nice to know you at least go it close._

I don't know about you, but most chicks I've been with wouldn't even dream of letting me in the back door. Now this one is begging for it? Of course I can't deny her and pass up an opportunity like this. Even though she's a complete drunk-ass whore at this point doesn't mean that I can't show a little mercy, right? I rub my cock along her already dripping crotch for some form of lube and then slide in with one clean push. Her back arches and I'm amazed at how tight she is around me. It doesn't take me long after that and when I'm done I swear that the face that turns around to flash me a sloppy smile is Sora's.

* * *

I'm under the distinct impression that thoughts, no matter how ludicrous they are, can not cause any damage if not said out loud. Therefore, any thoughts that I entertain for the rest of the weekend about how exactly gay guys can do _what they do,_ don't count. I pass it off as pure curiosity. You know what I'm talking about, like when you were five and took apart your mother's hair dryer to find out how it worked.

Demyx walks by in a pair of pajama pants and with a bowl of cereal in hand.

_I wouldn't put his dick in my mouth._

WTF?! Seriously, what the hell? Where did that thought come from? Of course I wouldn't put his dick in my mouth, I wouldn't put anyone's dick in my mouth!

"You alright?" Demyx manages to get out around a mouthful of Capn' Crunch.

At this point my head is cradled in my hands and I'm staring at the floor like I'm making sure it won't open up and drop me into the apartment below. I kind of wish it would to be honest. "Dude, I'm so far from alright at the moment."

A plastic bottle bounces off my head and falls somewhere around my left foot. Advil. "It sucks getting older. We can't drink like we used to." Demyx 'sympathizes' with me and goes back to eating his cereal and reading the funnies.

* * *

I spend the next week studying Sora, and every other openly gay man that I come across, to see what makes them different… or similar to me. My results, we all wear pants. God, I'm seriously starting to feel messed up in the head.

Last night I had this dream where Sora and I were floating in the middle of a lake in a small boat. I was rowing and Sora was staring at me with a smile and a parasol. He kept asking me if I liked hot dogs, bananas, cucumbers, and popsicles.

By the end of the week I practically jump at an invitation from my friend Larxene to go to a fashion show that she's designing for at a local gay bar. I may have seemed overly anxious to go but knowing Larxene, she probably took it as my enthusiasm to support her. I've been to some of the other shows that she's participated in and they're boring as hell. The whole thing is a no budget production that rivals a last minute, thrown together, high school function to placate 'under appreciated genius'. The models are pretentious bar flies that Larxene has convinced that they were beautiful enough to walk her cat walk. Ok, that's a little cruel, some of them are actually pretty hot.

What I didn't realize was that my invitation doubled as an excuse to get me to help lug shit around for the 'designers', and I use the term loosely. "Axel, you're the best friend a girl could ask for." Larxene tells me as she piles another dress across my outstretched arms. "I don't know what I would have done without you." She's got herself completely overly worked up about this, and I still can't see what the big deal is.

"Yeah well, you know me, I work for beer." I grin, reminding her that there are still _some_ strings attached.

"Ooo, a cheap date, I like that in a man", one of the FLAMINGLY gay inhabitants of the bar throws at me in passing. I can't help but grin at the well worn line being thrown at me. Hey, even if you're not going to the party, it's still nice to be invited, I suppose.

Larxene smiles at me, adding the final garment for this trip to the pile, "I don't think you're going to be needing me to buy you drinks tonight."

"I am a sexy beast, aren't I?" I waggle my eyebrows at her and lumber off to unload my burden and hopefully enjoy a well deserved pint.

The night is actually quite entertaining and educational. Let's just say that if I had any holes in my self-esteem before coming here tonight, the compliments, come-ons, phone numbers and a few random gropes patched them up just fine. Larxene parades around as my girlfriend, probably thinking that I'll be uncomfortable with guys picking up on me, and I can't help but think that I probably would have been two weeks ago.

* * *

"Fuck Starbucks today." Xigbar seems a bit grouchy today, could you tell? "I need something a little stronger than coffee."

I eye the green and white sign over my haven and sigh. Hold on, I've never actually thought about it before, but what exactly is that a picture of? A freakish mermaid with two tails? What about that says coffee?

"Yuna won't shut the fuck up about you, she says that you haven't called her." My attention is brought back round to Xigbar. We're walking away from Starbucks and into the bar closest to our office.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she seems to think that you guys really hit it off at the party."

I roll my eyes and take a seat at the bar. I don't know what I'm going to order yet and wait for Xigbar to order before I make my decision. "You know she was calling me Alex all night, right?"

Xigbar laughs and orders two shots of Blackhause with two Guinnesses for chasers, "Now that you remind me, yeah, that was pretty funny."

"That chick was nuts."

"Fuck, and here I was thinking I could get you to pay because you owed me one."

"If anything your ass should be buying me a drink for putting up with that leech", I snort into my beer. "I swear she was trying to take me into her by process of osmosis and suck my face off at the same time."

That one caused Xigbar to choke a bit but soon enough he rolled into another bout of laughter. "My bad…" more laughter, "dude…", still more laughter, "… Alex."

"Ass."

"I'll tell her you contracted herpes or something, that'll shut her up."

The bartender, who is smoking hot and way out of my league, gives me a look like I really have herpes. "Dude, shut the fuck up." I shoot at Xigbar and I can't look the bartender in the eye again. "And don't set me up with any of your sucubuses again."

There's an amicable silence over the bar, it's not really a happening place at 3:00 in the afternoon on a weekday. I'm towards the end of my beer when Xigbar orders us another round. "I've actually got to go back to work today you know." I mention, half serious.

"Who are you kidding, no you don't." He pulls out his wallet and pays for this round as well. Maybe I really did make him feel bad for siccing Yuna on me. It does occur to me that I probably make twice as much money as he does, but then again, I don't think I want to know where he comes up with all of his spare cash.

Curiosity gets the better of me and I find myself asking what's crawled up his ass today. Xigbar is pretty fucked up but he's not a 'piss the afternoon away in a bar every day' kind of guy. It comes out that he's had some bad dealings with his girlfriend and his buddy lately but cuts himself off before the whole conversation turns into an episode of male bonding.

"Listen," I tell him about half way into our second beer, "I can blow off the afternoon if you want to go paper bag it with me in the park, I've just got to call Aerith and have her cover for me."

He smiles down into his glass and gives me a nod. "Really, everything should be as simple as drinking 40s in the park."

"Yup" I agree and before I know it we're out of the bar and into the bodega just outside of the park. I feel like I'm back in high school again and skipping class. Some how things just feel really comfortable, like this is a break that I've been needing for a while and I realize that I'm doing this just as much for myself as I am for Xigbar beside me.

It's a short walk 'til we're in the park and to the shady benches. "Why'd you buy two 40s? You know that second one is gonna be piss warm by the time you get around to drinking it." I don't answer him immediately and just nod to the only other occupied bench in the area.

The bum that's taken up residency on that particular bench is a man that I pass every morning on my way to work and get my weather forecast from. "Cid," I walk up to him, and push one of the paper bagged 40s into his hand, "just as predicted, not a cloud in the sky." Cid grins a surprisingly toothy grin up at me and salutes.

Xigbar and I spend a good hour or so in the park, talking about bands, movies and our own version of politics when Sora comes into sight. I smile at him and give him a wave with my drink in hand. "So, this is why I didn't see you this afternoon." He laughs and stops in front of our bench. "And I actually thought you might have been sick."

"Oh, he's sick alright." Xigbar elbows me before taking a pull off his bottle, "believe you me.

I can't help but laugh at his antics, Xigbar's mood has definitely improved as he's worked his way down the bottle. "No, not sick in the conventional sense," I agree and finish my drink. "Sometimes coffee just doesn't cut it." I stretch and stand up before Sora, the kid only comes up to my shoulders.

"Amen!" Xigbar adds, standing to join us. "Come on kid, I'm feeling generous, I say the three of us go get some pitchers and shoot some pool."

Sora looks at Xigbar like he's just grown another nose on his face and then to me as confirmation that he did, in fact, just say those words. "You want me to go drinking with you guys?"

"Are you slow? Yes, that's what I just said."

Sora looks at me for help, but my brain isn't feeling too generous at the moment. I'm actually wondering what it would feel like to get a little closer to Sora and have one of his little emo hair spikes go up my nose. Shit, I think I'm getting drunk.

"I was under the impression that well…" Sora looks around himself like the words he wants to say are on a cue card near by. Haha, that would be so helpful some times if it were true. "Dude, you don't like me", he settles with and looks Xigbar straight in the eye.

"Hey," Xigbar throws an arm over Sora's shoulders and I've seen that look on his face before, it's reminiscent of the one he gave me before shoving my face in Yuna's tits. "Why would you go and say a thing like that? I'm a good guy, I'm just trying to buy you a beer and have fun."

"You can buy me a beer", I suggest rather unhelpfully.

Sora manages to squirm his way out from under Xigbar's arm and backs away a little. I'd be scared too. "Maybe some other time," he explains clearly not wanting to just tell Xigbar that he can fuck off, "I've got other plans at the moment."

Xigbar asks, "Pffft, are they more fun then us?"

"Yeah, are they better looking then me?" I ask with an admittedly arrogant smile and a pose.

Sora shakes his head and laughs "no, and maybe. I'll see you guys later." I'm not going to lie that I'm disappointed to see him leave.

* * *

It's been three days in a row that I've gone to Starbucks and have not seen Sora. I understand that the kid gets days off and all, but what I can't understand is why I feel like he should have told me.

_Fuck, I'm turning into Aerith._

Today is the fourth day that Sora isn't working and curiosity gets the better of me. "Where's Sora been?" Sora's regular emo counterpart doesn't even bat an eye at the question.

"He's going to one of his conventions this weekend and asked for the week off."

A mental image of Sora in a Star Trek uniform pops into my head, and the weird part is that he's wearing a skirt. Store _that_ _one_ away for later. There are other types of conventions, he could be going to a barista convention or an S&M, sex toy convention. Shit, where was I again. This emo kid is looking at me like I'm retarded. "Venti chai?" It comes off as a question because I'm seriously wondering if I voiced any of my thoughts. He rings me up and goes off to make my drink.

* * *

"Dude, have you ever been to a convention?"

"What?"

"A convention, Dem, you know a convention."

"I know what a convention is, asshat. I mean what kind of convention."

"I dunno, like a freaky freak convention."

"Ooo, like sexual deviant gatherings?"

"Uh, sure."

"No."

"Yeah, me either."

* * *

Sora, for a lack of a better term, looks _busted_ today, then again, it is Monday, and so as a general rule I don't judge people too harshly. It looks like he's run out hair gel, slept in his clothes and- is that eyeliner?

"Rough weekend?" I ask opening my wallet with a bit of a grin.

Unexpectedly he smiles this lopsided smile, you know the smile that you sport right after you've just eaten a particularly satisfying dessert. Great, now I want a piece of lava cake. "It was long but fun."

Oh god, my horrible, dirty mind and the things it's conjuring. Rough, long and fun – Sora being gay… I'm a bad man. "What'd you do? That-" I gesture over toward his co-worker, "doesn't make my latte as well as you do."

"Did you miss me?" Baww, he looks a little hopeful.

I bend down and lean on the counter, looking him straight in the eye. "And what if I did?" Holy balls, am I flirting with him? Fuck yeah I am, and it's kind of fun. This is kind of flattering. Sora's face turns the most brilliant shade of embarrassment I've seen in a while, and I feel the need to save him from his awkward predicament. "I heard you went to a convention of sorts."

His face washes over with relief, "yeah, it was an anime convention." He's suddenly very excited to make my drink and sprint around his little work station while he's telling me about the convention. "Do you watch anime?"

"I've seen some with a lot of tentacles before."

"Hentai," he laughs and hands me my drink. "You should check out some more_ subtle_ shows. Maybe next time you can go with us!"

"Go with you?"

"To the convention! It's always great to have another person to help split the gas and room costs with."

I look at him skeptically, "we'll see."

* * *

Blockbuster has a whole rack of anime when Demyx and I stroll through on Thursday night. It's pouring outside and he doesn't have a show tonight so we plan to sit in and watch a movie like an old married couple, but with beer. We pick out a new release comedy, a movie Demyx insists that the world will end if we don't rent, and I slide in an anime that has a girl with big boobs on the front for later viewing.

* * *

"Let's get that coffee kid to come out with us."

"His name's Sora" I find myself correcting Xigbar, though it's a futile attempt, I'm sure.

"Yeah, yeah- coffee kid. I bet he's funny drunk."

"Why do you want to get him drunk so badly?"

He shrugs in reply and by now we're almost to Starbucks. "It's like, I dunno, fun watching someone stagger through the motions the first few times around."

"No it's not, I've always had bad experiences with pukers." Fuck pukers, if you can't hold your liquor, don't throw it up on me. I used to shove my dog's face in it when he shit on the carpet, I will shove your face in it if you puke on me. Got it memorized?

"Come on, he's all emo, it's like an outreach project. Just think, we may be saving him from becoming a cutter or something."

"Jesus, you sound like some fucked up guidance counselor. Emphasis on the _fucked up_ part." I spot Sora working behind the counter and he's looking much better than he was at the beginning of the week. I silently try to warn him what's about to happen to him with my eyes, but I've yet to master the Jedi mind trick.

"You're settling for coffee today, huh?" He asks with amusement and Xigbar just shrugs as though it was a toss up in the first place. "LARGE caramel macchiato and a venti chai?"

"Kid, I like you more and more each day." Xigbar grins and slaps down a cookie on the counter from the basket beside the register.

"I do what I can." He goes off to make our drinks but has somewhat of a nervous stance about him when he comes back. "Uh, Axel, right?" I nod, because, well, that's my name. "Remember how I was telling you about those conventions that I go to? Well there's one coming up next weekend and someone bailed on us so now we're kinda screwed if we can't find someone else to ride and stay with us."

"Awww, are you asking him out on a date?" Xigbar is in his element and has a shit eating grin on his face. "I tell you what kid, you may have a chance, I've already had to cross lecherous women from my list of things that Axel here will date."

"So yeah, anyway", Sora looks from Xigbar, probably trying to pretend that he hadn't spoken in the first place. "It's going to be about 75 total for the weekend. Wanna go?"

What the hell am I supposed to do? He's really expecting an answer from me right now? In front of Xigbar? Fuck. Is it just me or is it a little strange that this kid is asking me to go away with him for the weekend? "I don't know…"

"Come on, puh-lease?! I will get you a free badge and I'll even get a costume together for you."

"A costume?!" Xigbar's eyes are impossibly wide and I just want him the get the fuck out of here. I'm intrigued at this point. A costume, huh? Sora, you kinky little bastard. By the look that Sora's giving me, I know I'm going to give in and go with him.

End Part 1.

This is AkuRoku, I promise. They say you're supposed to write about what you know, and well, I know about Starbucks, beer, conventions, cosplay, and batshit friends.


	2. Part 2

I only got one review for the last chapter. That's kind of sad. If you don't like the story, my writing style or whatever, please at least leave me a comment and tell me what it is about it that you don't like. Even if it's just to tell me that I smell bad and junk. If there are no reviews then I'm assuming that you're just not making it through the chapter because you hated it that much.

I don't own KH.

* * *

**Life Out of Costume**

Part 2

* * *

Cosplay, yeah I looked that shit up on wikipedia. You know, before wikipedia, I used to call information for answers to questions like this. You'd be surprised how many times they actually told me something useful, though the amount of times they just hung up on me by far outnumbered the helpful calls.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I might have more than just a passing interest in guys. Not like I'm going to be bent over any time soon but I wouldn't object to a blow job or something, might be nice coming from someone that has the same junk as me. Experience and all. It's like if you think about something long enough you gradually become ok with it, like desensitization or something. I'm starting to think that if I have enough free time on my hands I can convince myself that pretty much ANYTHING is a good idea at this point.

Back to the cosplaying thing, Sora told me that he has a costume for me, I've already made sure that it's not a dress of some sort. He assures me that the character that I'm dressing up as is nothing short of the epitome of masculinity. It actually sounds pretty hot, it's a black leather coat, and I look pretty bad ass in black leather, if I do say so myself. I guess I'm borrowing it from the other kid that couldn't make it.

"Where are you going?" Demyx stood in my doorway while I pack some stuff into my bag.

"I'm going to a convention, Dem."

"Oh! One of those freaky freak ones? Gonna be a sexual deviant?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Sweet deal, bring me back something, would ya?"

"I'll look for something extra special, just for you." He smiled in response, eating what looked like whoppers and wandered off to play with his bass.

Sora and his friend Riku are going to be picking me up soon and to be honest I'm kind of nervous. Don't horror movies start out this way? Underwear, deodorant, a couple of t-shirts, socks, toothbrush, I'm sure I can bum tooth paste from someone there, and I don't see why this pair of jeans shouldn't last me through the weekend.

"I think your ride is here, Axel." Dem called from the other room and I peeked out my bedroom window to see Sora walking up our path. For some reason that I really can't explain I don't want Demyx to meet Sora, so I rush to shove everything in my bag and try to head him off to the door.

"Thanks, Dem! I'll see you Sunday night!" I called out as I hurry myself out the door before he can poke his big stupid head into the matter. Once outside I sighed a breath of relief that _something_ was avoided, even if I don't know what. "Hey, Sora. 'Sup buddy?"

Sora smiled up at me like today is his birthday or Christmas, or both, "Are you ready?!"

"Holy fuck, how much caffeine have you ingested today?"

In a flash he's latched onto my arm and laughing. Personal space, ok, guess Sora's never heard of it. "Riku's waiting in the car and- AHHH! I'm so glad you're coming!"

_Fuck, I don't know if I can take this spazzing shit all weekend. What the hell did I sign myself up for?_

When we made it to the car and I finally saw the infamous Riku. He's pretty. Yeah, I said pretty because really there was no other way to describe him. Boy band pretty. Sweet Jebus, it's kind of funny. He waved a hello with a nod of acknowledgement and that's about it. Okaaay, so we've got Riku the mindless mute and Sora the caffeine creature from Touchy-feely Land. Awesome. Sense my enthusiasm?

Sora took my bag from me and forcefully tossed it into the backseat before trying to stuff me, in much the same manner, into the backseat as well. "Sora-" He speaks! Riku CAN talk! "I'm not riding you all the way down there if you're going to act like this." Thanks for the mental image Riku…

The dreaded moment of music selection for the ride down was about to take place. My luck Sora's going to put on some country hill billy rap or the like. Two hours, I'm subject to their music for two hours. Thankfully Riku swatted Sora's hand away from the radio before we get moving and put on what I consider passable music.

"Axel, I have no idea how Sora talked you into this, but thanks man." Riku looked back at me through the rearview mirror and I just nod in response. "I remember my first convention-"

"No you don't, not all of it anyway. You were BOMBED!"

"Shut up, Sora." And you can tell it's just playful banter among friends with no animosity. "Anyway, yeah, welcome to the sub-culture."

* * *

We were waiting in line to check into the hotel. The place is swarming with retards. No seriously! There are piles of acne, Hot Topic rejects, girls wearing cat ears, people taking pictures of other people that are dressed up, and nerds that I'm sure have just now left their parent's basements for the first time this year only to come to this convention. You see me blending in here? No. I need a drink.

_What is that smell?_

"Those are otaku." Riku spoke out of the side of his mouth as he leaned into me. My habit of thinking out loud must have struck again. "The smell only gets worse, none of them will shower all weekend."

"AHHHHHH!!" I heard the squealing before I saw its source. "SO-RA!!" The next moment poor little Sora was being jumped all over by a red haired girl and her blond friend. Not bad, the blond is kind of cute…

Sora seemed just as excited to see them and it looked like his inner fan-girl emerged. From their conversation I made out that the red head was Kairi and the blonde's name was Nam. Suddenly this bubble-gum pop techno music started playing really loudly near us and the three of them began squealing again. They all started in on this messed up looking dance with their hands on their heads and shaking their asses.

"I hate this fucking song."

_Why hello thar…_

This ray of sunshine beside me came from nowhere. He's about Sora's height with blond hair and _oozing_ attitude. "We're already checked in," oh goody, he was talking to Riku, this means I'm probably going to get to observe him more this weekend. "Ask them to put you on the eighth floor."

Riku agreed and turned to me. "Dude, make sure Sora doesn't run off out of line."

"Wha-?" Did he expected to baby-sit Sora now?

"I've got to go with Roxas", he signaled to the blond kid, "to the liquor story since wittle blondly locks is only 19." Roxas, that lovely ray of sunshine just rolled his eyes and continued to wait impatiently. "Sora has the money, make sure he asks for the eighth floor, and txt me with the room number. Do you want anything while we're there?"

It took my brain a moment to process the fact that, yes, I was stuck babysitting Sora, who is still dancing like a fruit, but they were going to get me alcohol. Yeah, they'd better have compensation for this. "I dunno, what are you getting? I'll drink anything."

"Great, give me ten bucks and you can just chip into the vodka/rum fund we've already got going."

I gave him the money and watch them walk away only mildly jealous that they've managed to escape.

"Who was that?" Roxas turned to Riku, not bothering to look back, most likely thinking they're out of range of my hearing.

"Axel. He's Sora's friend that's staying with us."

"Hmmm, I could-" and I didn't get to hear the end of Roxas' statement because Sora once again latched onto me.

"Axel this is Kairi and Namine." He pointed them out to me and I couldn't help but send them my most charming smile, causing an eruption of giggles to spill forth from them.

"Ladies." I could tell that I was getting the once over from them but don't mind, they're probably jail bait anyway. "At least there's hope for this weekend yet. I thought there were only ugly trolls at this thing from what I've seen." More giggling and Namine has the good grace to blush.

"Oh I like him already", Kairi said as she took up my free arm that wasn't already occupied by Sora. And that's the thing, why was Sora hanging off of me? Wasn't he worried about what people were going to think of him all over a guy? Wait, maybe I should be concerned what people were going to think of ME with him all over me. _Shit._

One look around me and I was hit with the realization that I could give a flying fuck what these people thought of me.

The check-in process went smoother than I had anticipated, what with Riku's warnings and all. As it turned out, the girls were going to be staying with us as well and their bags were temporarily stored in Roxas' room.

"I can't believe you guys got here so late!" whined one of the girls, I wasn't really paying attention, and just flipped through the TV stations.

"What's it matter? It's not like anything happens on Fridays anyway." Sora has settled down a bit, possibly due to a sugar crash. "Besides, I only brought one costume for the weekend."

"What about you, Axel?" The bed dipped beside me and I looked over to see Namine sitting next to me.

"What about me, what?

"Oh! I got Seifer to let him borrow his Organization coat!!" Sora's excited again and bounded over onto the bed with us. "You're going to have soooo many drooling fan girls!"

"Uh…", they surrounded me and Kairi's squealing again, I swear this is the only thing this girl can do.

"Wow, with that hair you won't even need a wig-"

_Wig? Fuck that, a wig is kind of like a skirt in my mind._

"-your hair is perfect for No. 8!"

"Oh Em Gee!"

That's it, I couldn't take this shit any more. I've tried to be social and polite, but it was time to lay down some ground rules with these people here. "Ok, first off, if I hear you say-" and I adopted my best falsetto, "'Oh Em Gee' again I might actually slap you." Kairi looked a little put off at that but Namine just started grinning. Before I could get into any more of the basics, there was a knock at the door.

Sora launched off the bed to open the door. Thank GOD it was Riku, someone with some semblance of normalcy is here. He told the girls that Roxas was back in his room and that they should head down to get their bags. Sora, who I'm suspecting is just one of the girls himself, went right on along with them. Strangely though, Riku dead bolted the door behind them, secluding the two of us.

"Looks like you survived."

"Barely." I sighed and resume my channel surfing. "Sora isn't like that at work, I had no idea."

"Yeah, well he's only really like that when he's here. Kairi gets him going because they're all BFF or whatever they're calling themselves this week." The mocking tone suggests that he's just as big a fan as I am of Sora's current behavior. "I got a small bottle for you and I to keep in our room, the rest is down in Roxas and Hayner's room. Do NOT tell Sora about it."

"Dude, I think you're my new hero." I turned to see him smiling at me while pouring two shots out for us. "Cheers."

* * *

Hayner, who I met when Riku and I felt we were sufficiently sedated with the help of some vodka, seemed like a pretty normal guy. He looked a little older than Sora and the girls and for that, I was grateful. He acted like a host to everyone that came into his room, offering them a greeting and a drink. Roxas on the other hand seemed caught up in some debate with a fat kid named Pence. They had another roommate named Omelet? She was a mousy, nerdy looking girl that appeared to be dating the fat kid.

I felt comfortable with a little more testosterone in the room and it appeared to have an effect on Sora as well. He was back to his normal witty self and currently making me a drink. Good boy. "Are you having fun?" He asked, while worrying his lip a bit.

"Yeah, now that you've settled down, man. You were freaking me out earlier." I laughed and took my drink from him. I was sitting in an arm chair by the window and Sora pulled up the foot rest that went with it.

"Sorry about that. I don't get to see these guys all the time, we keep up with one another online for the most part. Cons are usually the only time we see each other in person." He shifted his seat so that he was between my legs and facing my chair. "I am really glad you came though."

"Me too."

"You didn't tell your eye-patched friend, did you?"

"Xigbar?"

"Yeah, unless you have more cycloptic friends that I'm unaware of." This was the Sora that I had been looking forward to hanging out with this weekend. I felt a smile ghost over my face and my posture relaxed a little more. "You seemed a embarrassed to talk about it in front of him, even going so far as to ditch him, THEN come back to talk to me about it."

"He's a bit of a homophobe." The statement was point blank and completely unsubtle.

"And you're gay, or you're assuming that I am?"

"Oh, I'm not assuming anything. You are gay."

Sora smiled and leaned forward, "and what about you? Are you gay?"

"Depends who's asking." I grinned back and noticed Roxas stalking up behind him. I sat back, really noticing just how close I was to Sora now that it wasn't just the two of us. Roxas appeared to have loosened up a bit from earlier.

"Sora, shove over." He nudged my brunette target over to share his seat.

Now, you may be wondering about my motives here. Easy, I'm getting drunk, I'm getting horny, I don't know anyone here, and Sora's mouth is looking pretty damn inviting right about now.

"So, are you?" Sora pressed the question, and I'd half hoped that he'd have dropped it once Roxas came over.

I looked at Sora with what I can tell is a predatory look in my eye, "For you? Yes." His face immediately went scarlet and he cleared his throat.

"What are you guys talking about?" Roxas looked strangely between us and Sora attempted to stutter a bit of an answer.

Oh Jebus, I had to save this kid from himself again, "We were talking about whether I was going to actually go through with wearing this costume that Sora seems to want to stuff me into tomorrow or not." Roxas didn't look like he quite believed that but seemed to let it go because he had nothing else to go on.

"I'm Roxas, by the way." His hand was held out to shake, "you're Axel, right?" I graciously took his hand and grinned at him.

"Nice to meet you, thanks for picking up the drinks earlier." I'm strangely glad that this kid remembered my name before actually being introduced to me. Then again, I was the only giant with flaming red hair in the room.

Sora seemed to have recovered from his bashful bout and started asking Roxas about how his ride to the convention was. Roxas had the same freaking amazing blue eyes as Sora, and I find myself wondering if they're related.

* * *

The room actually smelled nice in the morning, considering there were three guys who were drinking last night in it. Then I remembered that Kairi and Namine are with us as well. It sounded like everyone was awake around me, but trying to be quiet so as not to wake me. Baww, that's nice, doubt I would have done the same, but still.

"I want to hit the dealer's room first…"

"… she'd better not be even…"

"… I know! Do you think she even looked in the mirror…"

"… later."

"… I think he's got an admirer."

"REALLY?! That's fucking HOT!" That had to have been Kairi. I tried to bury myself into the pillow and the room became silent. Oh so she noticed that she was being a little loud, huh? "Sorry, Axel." She apologized and proceeded to take it down a few decibels.

I ended up on Namine's air mattress on the floor last night because I thought it was 'ungentlemanly' of me to make the girls sleep on it while I took the bed. I'm kind of regretting that move now.

"Here Kai, take these and get him a venti chai, and a venti roast for Riku." I looked up to see Sora handing Kairi what looked like Starbucks gift cards and the day got a little better.

"Love you, Sora." I mumbled into my pillow and heard him snicker.

Wait a minute. A look back up at Kairi and proves that she does indeed have green hair now. "Uh…" Kairi, Namine, and Sora were all dressed in costumes. I sat up and yawned while rubbing my hair out of its awkward position. I hate that, when you sleep on your hair wrong and then when you get up it falls all weird and your scalp aches in strange places. You KNOW you know what I'm talking about.

A sharp intake of breath caused me to lazily look over to see what the commotion was about now, only to find the three of them staring at me. Where's Riku?

"Holy crap!" Kairi waved her hands next to her as though she'd just burnt them and Namine was blushing.

Out of the bathroom stepped Riku and this effectively broke their apparent trance. "You guys are still here? I thought you were going down to get our badges from Tidus?"

"Ok, OK! We're going!" The girls collected their bags and headed for the door, but not before Sora reminded them to get the coffee.

Riku was in a pair of boxers and drying his hair with a towel. I assumed that meant it was my turn in the shower. "I'm sorry about that." Sora started to apologize, Riku and I shot him questioning looks. Sora makes some hand movements towards me, "the guys they normally see here are fat gamer-chans, ya know? It's not every day they see a half naked guy that's in shape!" Riku gave a disgruntled snort from behind Sora. "Well you don't count, Riku! We've all seen you running around in your shorts for years."

"Thanks," Riku muttered sarcastically before giving Sora a kiss, causing Sora to look at me a little sheepishly.

Uh, did I miss something? Crap. They're a couple. Or fuck buddies, fuck buddies no commitment in my book, remember. It's too early to be thinking about this right now. Must look into later.

"Come on! Go get in the shower! I want to get downstairs some time today!" Sora threw a towel at me as I worked up the energy to get off the floor.

A half an hour later finds me smelling all fresh and clean, with a latte in hand, and wearing enough black that I start to worry about myself. Kairi and Sora are going at my hair with some gel and other styling products that I'm scared to know about. As long as they don't cut it, we're cool. Sora at least has the good senses to placate me with a drink. It turns out that he pocketed a bunch of Starbucks gift cards before leaving work one day. Ok, more than a bunch, closer to a mountain.

Riku was dressed and leaving the room when I got out of the shower and I was almost sad to see him go. I've begun to think of him as a buffer between me and the girls… and some times Sora.

I swear my nipples are hard enough to scratch glass at the moment. I'm seriously wondering whose idea it was to turn the air conditioner on arctic and not let me wear the top of my costume. Make no mistake, I know they're doing this to me on purpose, I'm not ALWAYS naïve to people's motives. When they're almost done with my hair Riku (read as salvation) came back with Roxas in tow, and shit does Roxas look hot.

I think this place is MAKING me gay.

Roxas wore a long black coat, just like the one that Sora showed me that I'd be wearing and Riku was in an ugly pair of pants with a banana colored vest. I'm assuming this is a costume, because he'd never get laid if he dressed like that normally. Then again, if he's dating Sora, I could see him not caring.

"You're dressing him up as No.8?" Roxas is stared at me in what looks to be shock, I know this because that's kind of what's going on with me too. At least he gets a jacket, I'm sitting here half naked, with a pair of leather gloves on and chicks messing with my hair.

Kairi finished her task and beamed a scary smile between Roxas and I, Riku seemed to think it was amusing as well. "Yeah, isn't it awesome? He's PURRRRfect for it too."

Sora handed me my jacket and I had to ask what I'm missing. Sora grinned evilly and the feeling of being utterly left out of some sort of inside joke was complete. "Kairi's favorite pairing from Kingdom hearts is No.8 and No.13."

I look to Kairi skeptically, "and you're dressing up as No.13?"

Laughter broke out and Roxas frowned at me, "I'm dressed as No.13 you twat. You don't even know the game at all?!"

"Don't be one of those snobby cosplay divas, Roxas." Riku chastised him, as he rolled his eyes and looked to be getting impatient. "The more of us dressed up the more fun we'll have anyway. Besides, you've got to admit, he makes the best damn No.8 I've seen."

"Now, kiss and make up." Kairi actually looked a bit expectant, until the rest of the room started laughing and Roxas went for the door.

Namine hung back with me while everyone else gathered up their shit and made their way to leave as well. She dressed in a white sun dress and sandals. "I'm sorry about her. Kairi is obsessed with yaoi."

"Yaoi?"

"Yeah, guy on guy."

"Gay?"

"Yeah. It doesn't help that you and Roxas are dressed up as her favorite couple either."

"Roxas and I are a couple?" Somehow that sat a little awkwardly with me.

She studied her feet, "well no, it's not canon but I think there are enough people that support it. You're probably going to get a lot of people asking you for yaoi shots and stuff."

"That's ok, Roxas doesn't seem too thrilled with me at the moment." I folded my arms back behind my head, watching the others walk in front of us down the hallway. Once on the elevator, Roxas wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. Yippy. /sarcasm

* * *

Ok, so this was kind of fun. Everyone was having a great time nerding it up with each other, I even talked to Hayner about some of the hentai that I'd watched. These people were all just here to have a good time and each was just as much of an inner dork as the next, so it was a good mix.

Roxas thought it was a good idea to avoid me for the most part, but I wasn't having that. If there is one thing that I can't stand, it's being ignored. Personally, I think he was being a bitch for acting the way he was and therefore, I made it my mission to push his buttons. It's fun to watch people snap.

"Ahhh! No.8 and 13! OMIGOD! I love you guys!" Hyperventilating heard of girls, ten o'clock. Incoming. "Can I get your picture?"

"Sure." I threw my arm out to grab Roxas, who had been trying to sneak away. I pulled him incredibly close to me and drape my arm over his shoulder. The girl was getting more excited and a couple more people came over to watch the spectacle. Someone snapped a picture and I buried my nose in his hair, closing my eyes. I heard a squeal and another picture. Oh god, they were eating this shit up.

Roxas elbowed me in the side and I had to grin. My arm dropped from his shoulders to his waist and I lifted his chin with my free hand so that he was now facing me. The excitement around us was palpable. Whispers of how hot we were and how perfectly we matched the characters circulated among the small gathering. Roxas' face was tinted with embarrassment and I just had to smirk down at him.

"KISS HIM!" Someone from the 'audience' shouted, and sounded remarkably like Kairi. I just laughed and let him go. I needed to get out of the situation. Staring into that kids' eyes made me forget for a moment that I was straight and in front of a bunch of people. I'm sure that I pissed him off pretty well that time.

This was the weirdest thing. Seriously, if girls find a guy attractive, don't THEY normally want to get with him? Makes sense to me. So why is it then, that if these girls find us so 'HAWT' do they want to see us get with each other? It just doesn't make sense!! … but it amuses me.

The afternoon just got better as I BLATANTLY flirt with little Roxy here under the disguise of being in character. Oh ho ho, this is grand. He's blushing and shoving and stuttering on his words. The only thing I can think to relate the whole situation to is picking a scab. You just keep poking and picking at it until the whole thing just rips off and starts bleeding all over the place. Yeah, Roxy was about to start bleeding.

"Axel, I think I love you."

"I know, Kairi. Really, how could you not? I am a pretty amazing." I flashed a toothy smile at her while we walked down the hallway towards the elevators to back to our rooms.

The day had passed rather quickly and I can't say that I didn't have fun. They took me to an artist alley – their words, not mine – that was like a show and tell room. Not really my cup of tea. We also went to a game room. Ok, so I didn't go to the game room, I couldn't step a foot inside the doors with the odor that was pouring out of the place. I caught a glimpse of the fat kid, Pence, from Roxy's room pounding away at one of those dance machines and dripping sweat like a sprinkler. Gross. The dealer's room was pretty cool though, they had chatskies like you wouldn't believe. I was even conned into buying a comic book/manga/doujinshi or whatever Sora called it when shoving it into my hands.

You know chicks, they can't go anywhere by themselves when they can help it. Kairi needed to change her costume before going to dinner and guess who got nominated to walk her back? Even though I was going to the room with her to change her clothes, she said that I was forbidden to do so myself. I didn't really mind, no one else was changing and besides, I would have looked strange with this hair style and normal clothes –not that I didn't already.

"We should make a drink before going back down." I suggested as we slipped into the room.

"But all of the alcohol is in Hayner's room and I don't have a key."

I watched Kairi collect some clothes and head into the bathroom. I debated what Riku had said about the bottle that he left in our room, and figured that as long as I didn't break the cardinal rule of not telling Sora about it, then I was ok to share with Kairi. I dug the bottle out from under Riku's bag and poured a small amount into two glasses.

Before she could say anything I handed her a glass and began to explain, "you can't tell Sora that we have a bottle in the room."

"Have you ever seen Sora drunk?"

"No, is it funny? My co-worker is on a personal mission to get him drunk." Oh man, it was strange thinking about REAL LIFE friends when I was here. I could only imagine the things that Xigbar would say about the things I was doing.

Kairi drank some of her drink with a bit of a cringe but then down the rest in a shot. "I thought it was endearing at first, but he can't drink too much. I've seen him spend the better part of a Saturday night with his head in a toilet."

**PUKER!!** Sora was a puker! I'd been dually warned.

"Don't worry, I won't be trying to get Sora drunk after that story."

"No, just in his pants, huh?" Kairi asked with a small smile before she was filling her glass up again.

"What?" I asked, taken back a bit. Truth be told, I hadn't once thought of Sora in more than a friendly way since last night. I'd been too occupied with Roxas.

There was a noise at the door and before Kairi could explain her question to my satisfaction, both Sora and Roxas were in the room. I quickly stuffed the bottle under the pillow next to me and gave Kairi the 'we will continue this later' look. Roxas was looking around the room, taking in every aspect of it, as though he was about to accuse us of thieving the lamps or something, and Sora was just standing behind him with a 'knowing' smile on his face.

"What were you guys doing?" Roxas asked and studied Kairi and me for a moment.

_Well we weren't stealing lamps like you seem to want to believe._

"Is that rum?" Sora asked, come up and trying to take my glass from me.

I held it tightly and managed to pull it away from him, only to have Roxas take it from me. After a sniff and a sip Roxas determined that it was rum and looked at me questioningly. What was this kid's deal?

"Oh stop Sora, we were almost done and heading down." Kairi finished her second glass and put it near the sink.

"I want some." Roxas said getting up to stand next to her, like she was going to get another glass of it.

"We don't have any more, I brought this little amount in a hip flask." I motioned to what was left in my glass before finishing it. "Besides, don't you have the rest of our alcohol in your room?"

Roxas didn't answer and just followed Kairi to the door. "What did you guys come up here for any way?" She asked putting her bag over her shoulder.

"You were taking too long." Sora smiled at her and I again felt like I was being left out of some inside joke.

"Aw, did you miss me Roxy?" I came up behind the blond and ruffled his hair a bit.

"I'm going to my room!" Roxas yelled, shoving my arm away. I'd meant to slightly annoy him, but he seemed pissed! Hahahha!! I love it!

"Roxas, what about dinner?" Kairi asked, watching him go down the hallway.

"I'll be down in a minute. I just need to get something."

I looked to Sora and Kairi but couldn't gage their responses. Kairi looked a bit worried but Sora was cool as a cucumber. I felt a little responsible for Roxas the drama queen, "I'll go with him and we'll meet you guys downstairs."

"Good!" Sora grabbed Kairi and marched for the elevators.

Roxas had already shut the door by the time I got down the hall and briefly wondered if we would even open it for me if I knocked. He did. "What?" He demanded when he wrenched the door open.

"What is your problem?" I shoved my way in and past him. Their room looked like a guys' hotel room.

"I don't have a problem." He pulled out a bottle from beside the TV and took a swig. I took the bottle from him and poured us two glasses. "She's not like that you know." He offered up when he accepted the glass of rum I'd poured him. I'd had enough straight liquor for the night and mixed some cola with it as well.

"Who's not like that?"

"Kairi. I just don't… she's got a boyfriend at home you know." He drank his drink but wouldn't look at me.

"So? What's that matter to me?" I couldn't see what the point was here. "Do you like her or something?" This was the only conclusion that I could come to. Roxas liked Kairi and was upset that she had a boyfriend and therefore wanted to have male bonding time while discussing it. Why did I follow him in here?

"She's my friend and she's not like that! She won't cheat on her boyfriend with you."

_Hold on._

"Cheat on her boyfriend with me? What are you talking about? I'm not trying to get with Kairi."

He had the nerve to shoot me the 'yeah, sure' look and downed his drink. "Whatever. Just know that it's not going to get you anywhere."

"Do you want me to put in a good word with her for you?" I asked, after downing my drink and following him to the door, since it looked like he was getting ready to leave me here.

"Get bent."

* * *

The walk to the restaurant had been uncomfortable. Roxas wasn't speaking to me again and people kept asking for pictures of the two of us together.

Dinner was a delightful event, and I made sure that I got a seat next to Kairi. Sora seemed to be in a good mood and was snuggling up to Riku more than ever. Yup, definitely a couple. Fuck. There goes that experiment in my sexuality.

By the time we got back to the hotel and into Roxas and Hayner's room Namine must have noticed my deflated mood towards Sora. We sat together over by the window, her in the arm chair that I'd had the night before and me on the foot rest, watching her draw. "What are you drawing?"

"I'm drawing a picture for you."

"Thanks." I mumbled into my drink and scanned my eyes around the room. I wasn't feeling too social so I'd been sitting with my back to everyone for the most part.

People were broken off into little cliques around the room and then there were Riku and Sora- making out in the corner. That's kind of hot. "You shouldn't stare at them, it's not polite." Namine offered, not even looking up from her work.

"What? If they didn't want people to see, they wouldn't be doing it so openly." I scoffed and turned back to her.

Namine sighed and I got the feeling I was going to get the 'look, here's how it is' talk. "I don't know what you're deal with Sora is, but he's been pining over Riku since they were kids."

"I don't have a deal with Sora, and I can tell that they're happy together. Riku puts up with way too much of Sora's antics not to genuinely like him." I smiled over my shoulder at them.

"Good." Namine cheered and flipped her sketch book over so I could see what she'd made.

"That doesn't look like Kairi." I wheeled around to see Roxas behind me looking at the picture Namine was showing me, the picture that Namine had drawn of US, Roxas and I, in our costumes.

"What's your problem?" I asked him with a severe look of annoyance, to which he just shrugged and turned away from us. I ignored him and looked back at the drawing. "Nam, I didn't know you could draw this well! This is REALLY good." And it was.

"Thanks", she blushed and took the notebook back. "You should go and help him."

I noticed that she was motioning to Roxas getting money from Hayner and Pence. "He's been a dick, why would I go help him?" I assumed that we'd run out of soda and Roxas was being sent on a mission to go collect some from the vending machines.

"I think he's getting a little drunk," Namine watched him with a straight face. "And he seems upset about something."

"Yeah, he thinks that I'm trying to get into Kairi's pants. He keeps telling me that she's got a boyfriend and stuff." I finished my drink and set it on the table beside us. "If the kid liked her so much, he should have just said so."

Namine cut me a side look, "he doesn't like Kairi." In a moment she continued with her sketching. "You're slow."

OK, so I missed something here. "What's going on, Nam?" I asked but she just shook her head and kept drawing. Clearly I wasn't going to get any more information from her, so my only option was to get it out of Roxas. I got up and followed him out the door when he left for the soda.

The door shut soundly behind us, leaving us alone in the hallway. "What're you doing?" He sighed and asked me without turning around.

"I thought I was helping you get soda, but I can go back inside if you want."

"Did Namine send you after me because she thought I was drunk?" He asked turning around to look accusingly at me. "You're so thoughtful, taking a break from staring at Kairi to come help me out." Yeah, the mocking tone wasn't lost on me.

"What the hell? Yes, Namine pointed out that you might need help carrying all of the soda. And WHAT is your obsession with me and Kairi?" By now we'd stopped in the ice and vending area just down the hall but neither of us were making any moves to actually get the soda. Roxas just stared at his feet without answering me. "I thought you had a thing for her yourself the way you were trying to keep me away from her, but Nam told me that I was wrong."

"What? I don't like Kairi." He looked up at me, a blush appearing on his face.

"Neither do I. I guess we have that in common." A minute or so passed and we still hadn't gotten any soda. "Listen, I don't know why you're acting the way you are, if you just don't like me then say something, because I'm only here because Sora asked me to come on this trip. I was having a good time, I know I was annoying you, but it was for fun, I wasn't trying to get you to hate me. If you want me to just leave you alone then-" and the next thing I knew, I was being cut off by a pair of lips pressed against my own.

Roxas was kissing me.

I was kissing another guy.


	3. Part 3

I don't own KH.

* * *

**Life Out Of Costume**

Part 3

* * *

"What are you going to do?" Yuffie gasped and leaned onto Aerith's desk a little more.

Aerith, to her credit, was a brilliant actress. The again, Yuffie was about as smart as a box of hair. "Well I can't keep it, can I?"

"Are you going to tell him about it this time?"

Aerith shook her head, "No, it didn't do any good last time."

From what I've gathered here, Aerith was claiming to be knocked up by Cloud again. I had some SERIOUS doubts as to the validity of her statements. Convenient isn't it that she just happens to be pregnant by Cloud when he starts dating Tifa openly? Hmmm… Yeah, like I said, I don't believe it. Thank god she's left me out of her pity party.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Aerith." Yuffie hugged her and all I could hear were snuffles and words of comfort.

Speak of the devil, Cloud was making his way down the aisle with a pretty, young blond just behind him. He appeared to be showing her around the office and when he came to a stop at Aerith's desk, Yuffie gave him a sharp look. "This is Aerith and Yuffie of our Web Unit. Girls, this is Rikku, she'll be working down in Internal Audit."

"Nice to meet you, Rikku." Aerith got out, and managed to snag a look of sympathy from the new girl.

Yuffie was still glaring at Cloud like she could burn a hole in his face with her thoughts alone. "… buy her dinner before you screw her…" I caught her muttering but it didn't look like Cloud or the new girl had heard her. That's comical.

"And this guy over here is Axel, but I'm not sure WHAT he does, if anything." Cloud leaned on my cube and crossed his arms. "Axel this is Rikku."

"Hi, Axel." Rikku waved, "is that your real name?"

"Like did my mom write it on my underwear real, or is that what Cloud calls me because he thinks I'm cute real?"

She giggled and Cloud rolled his eyes, "Both."

"Yes, it's my real name, I'd show you my license but then you'd know where I lived and well, you're hanging around Cloud so that doesn't really say much for you, now does it?" Cloud laughed good naturedly and ushered Rikku away.

I watched them as they walked away and could feel the twin glare being shot at me from both Aerith and Yuffie.

"Holy crap, that girl is HOT!" Cue Xigbar.

"Pffftt, really, if you like that kind of thing." Yuffie said flippantly.

Xigbar just laughed, abandoned his mail cart and went over to her, "_That kind of thing?_ If by _that kind of thing_ you mean nice ass, cute smile and perky tits, then hell yeah, that's what I like."

Cloud and Rikku made their way back by our cubes. "Hi, Axel!" Rikku waved like a special ed kid. Xigbar looked at me like I was the luckiest bastard on the planet and Yuffie just grinned like she was forming a plan.

I grabbed my smokes and Xigbar and quickly exited the office. Things were back to normal.

As per usual we made our way over to Starbucks and the whole time Xigbar wouldn't shut up about Rikku. Thankfully Sora was working so I could talk to someone who wasn't completely insane for five minutes.

"Hey! The usual?" he asked even though he's already started to make them.

"Yeah, thanks."

Sora's emo counter part is sitting on his ass eating a brownie just watching Sora work. "I hope you don't mind, but I gave your phone number to Nam, Kai, and Roxas. Kairi wouldn't leave me alone until I did and you should have _seen_ the look that Roxas was giving her."

I was silently amused at Roxas' antics even now. I was pretty sure that he hadn't told anyone about what had happened between us in the vending machine room, even though Namine had asked what had taken us so long. The memory made me smile even now. I feel kind of stupid now for not having had figured it out sooner, you know, Roxas having a little jealous crush on me all day and all.

Kissing Roxas had felt like having your first kiss all over again, only without the awkwardness. It was exciting, probably because in my mind I still thought that I shouldn't have been doing that. Are you surprised that I kissed him back? No? Yeah, me neither. The rest of that night went by so fast. Roxas was much better company when he wasn't sulking around and creating imaginary relationships between me and Kairi.

On Sunday, as Riku, Sora and I were leaving, we all said our goodbyes to the rest of the group and I treated Roxas just like everyone else. I have no idea if the kid had done what he did because he was drunk or what. I decided it would be less awkward to just play the whole thing off as though it didn't happen.

My drink order was up and Sora was giving me this _look._ "What?" I asked, swiping my hand over my face quickly to see if there was something stuck to it.

"Nothing." He said with a smile and started wiping down the counter.

"Hey, hey now, don't go getting your hopes up kid. Axel has a cute little blond to play with now." Xigbar pointed out before burning his mouth on his drink.

Sora's smile grew considerably. "Does he now?" He dropped all pretenses of cleaning off the counter. Oh fuck, did Sora think Xigbar was talking about Roxas? Had Roxas told Sora?

"Oh god, you should see this girl. She'd turn even you straight, kid." Xigbar laughed and started for the exit.

The look on Sora's face said it all. He HAD thought it was Roxas. "Really?" He asked and looked pointedly at me, "you should bring her in and we'll test this theory out." Why did he look kinda pissed at me?

* * *

"What's this?" Demyx asked while leafing through something.

"I don't know, Dem, you tell me." I said, staring at the TV, willing it to have something good on.

Dem kept flipping through some pages and then began turning it side ways and upside down to get a better look at something. "I thought it was just a comic book, but I think its porn!" In a second I was by Demyx's side and looking over his shoulder. I immediately recognized the book in question to be the doujinshi that Kairi had talked me into buying. "DUDE! It's GAY porn!" Demyx's eyes grew incredibly wide as he turned over his shoulder to look at me.

Snatching the book out of his hand I tried to offer up an explanation, "One of the girls I went to the convention with made me buy it. I had no idea it was dude on dude, or porn at all for that matter."

"You don't have to make up excuses for buying your kinky cartoons, Axel." He peered over the back of the couch at me with a mischievous look on his face.

"Shut up, Dem."

* * *

The phone on my desk rang, interrupting my nap. "Dude, Boobs is coming your way. Look sharp!" Boobs was the affectionate name that Xigbar had given Rikku, and with good reason. This girl constantly wore low cut shirts that she probably bought from juniors' section and had the habit, albeit not bad habit, of leaning a little too far over.

It was finally the end of the week and I was feeling exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I haven't actually done any sort of physical activity to merit this exhaustion, it's more mental. Xigbar has been busy for the most part, probably planning to take over the world in some new diabolical way. Demyx hasn't been home, I think he may actually have started seeing someone. It's weird, whenever you're alone EVERYONE else seems to have a significant other. That reminds me, Sora's been acting strange to me all week. I asked him how Riku was and he answered with a simple 'fine'. I wondered briefly if they were fighting and decided not to poke my nose into it.

"Axel!" Rikku bounced into view and I looked her in the boobs eyes. "I was talking to eye-patch guy", I find it amusing that no matter how many times I tell her his name she can't quite grasp the concept. "And he said that you knew the bassist from Luster Kings!"

"Yeah well Xigbar says a lot of things."

Rikku continued on as though I hadn't spoken at all. Does she have an off switch? "I thought that since they were playing tonight that maybe you would be there and could introduce me to him." This caught my attention, Boobs, damn it, Rikku, was interested in Demyx?

"Yeah Axel, you should bring her along with you." As per usual, Yuffie and Aerith were within eavesdropping range and decided to play match maker- not that they hadn't been all week long anyway. For fuck's sake, you have no idea how many times I had to deal with their 'subtlety', and I use the term loosely.

I shook my head, "I don't think it will do any good. I think Dem has started seeing someone recently." Rikku looked confused and came closer to me. Like being closer is going to help her understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.

"I'm not interested in the bassist that way, I just really like his music. I've got my eyes on someone else." Wow, this girl was forward. I find that kind of hot. "Are you going to be at the show tonight?"

Yuffie and Aerith were leaning completely out of Aerith's cubical and almost collapsing the short, flimsy wall. "Ah, uh, I can't make it to the show tonight. I have to get my cat neutered."

_WHAT?!_ God I'm becoming retarded. My cat neutered? WTF? I don't even OWN a cat. Was that completely obvious, like 'I can't, I have to wash my hair'? Apparently so, Yuffie was laughing and I think she just snorted.

"That's too bad! Your poor cat!" Rikku looked genuinely compassionate and I was torn between feeling bad and questioning the intelligence of the people they hire here.

What the hell is wrong with me? This girl is hot as hell and just as dumb. This is my dream girl. "I know, I feel bad for him, and I hate to do it to him, but if he'd stop humping EVERYTHING then I wouldn't have to chop his balls off."

Yuffie nearly lost it completely.

For effect, and to show that I'm 'such a sweetheart' I took Rikku's hand and told her that I would love to go out with her some other time though.

* * *

_Txt: Do you need a ride next weekend, or are you riding with Sora again?_

_Axel txt: Who is this?_

_Txt: It's Kairi, didn't Sora give you my number?_

_Axel txt: No._

_Kairi txt: So? Do you need a ride?_

_Axel txt: A ride for what? I have no idea what you're talking about._

_Kairi txt: The convention next weekend. I figured that you were going to room with us again even though Seifer was coming._

_Axel txt: I don't know._

_Kairi txt: Well let me know if you need a ride, I have room in my car for you. :D_

* * *

Truth be told, I had actually planned to go to Demyx's show on Friday night, but instead I sat home and did nothing. I pretended that I was sick so that Dem wasn't offended that I skipped out on him. So there I was, sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket that Dem had swattled me in.

Nurse Demyx had made me soup and tried to take my temperature, but that's where his kindness ended. The dumbass tried to stick a rectal thermometer in my mouth and got aggravated when I freaked out. HELLO?! It's been in his ass! Who even OWNS a rectal thermometer anyway? Yeah, he didn't like that question either. He gets an E for effort.

Right, back to my sitting alone on a Friday night, my mind kept going back to Kairi's text and Sora. I'd already been dancing around the subject all week so I decided to just confront Sora. I shuffled through my contacts and found his name, but when I called the line just rang a bazillion times and I got his voice mail. "Hey Sora, its Axel, give me a call when you get a chance. Later."

Why hadn't Sora told me about the next convention? Did he not want me to go? Did he think I wouldn't want to go with them again? For some reason I had a feeling that this had to do with Roxas. Was Sora mad at me because of what Xigbar said about Rikku? Jebus, were gay men like women?

The phone rang before my brain had any more time to go down that road. I just figured that it was Sora returning my call, "Hello?"

"Axel, dude, I know you're sick and all", it was Demyx ",but you've _got_ to come down to the show."

"Dem…"

There wasn't much noise in the background, so I figured that he'd gone off somewhere quiet to talk to me. Baww, my roommate cared for my well being, "There's this chick here asking about you, and well, I think she could be a stalker, but I don't think you'd mind this chick stalking you.", or then again, maybe not.

That was laughable, I figured that he must be talking about Rikku and the fact that he thought she was stalkerish was just plain amusing to me. "I don't know-"

"Dude, seriously, come down here." And Demyx sounded more serious than I'd heard him in a while. "You won't regret it. And just think, they use alcohol to kill a lot of germs and bacteria, right?"

I had to smile at his reasoning, "I'll see you in a bit."

The club Demyx's band, Luster Kings, was playing at was a good ways away. The drive was actually kind of peaceful and I surprisingly found decent parking. Things were looking up. The moment I walked in the door I felt a wall of sound assault my senses and actually felt my clothes and hair shift from the bass. There was an additional vibration coming from my pants, and before you read to far into that one, it was my cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Axel, it's Sora, you called earlier?" It was hard to hear him and I had to put a finger in my open ear to make out what he'd said, though I probably could have guessed.

"AXEL!!" It was Rikku and fuck did she look good. "Let me sit on your face!!"

"_**Excuse me?**_" HOLY BALLS, at least let me get a drink in me woman.

She came closer and pressed her face up to the side of my face, "I said come sit near my place!"

I nodded and she filtered her way back through the crowd towards her spot at the bar. "Sora?" I asked, but when I got no answer I realized that I'd lost the call… or he hung up on me.

_Axel txt: Did you hang up on me?_

I made my way over to where Riku was sitting and found an empty stool and a beer next to her. "Demyx told me that New Castle was your favorite." She motioned over her shoulder towards the stage with her thumb.

"I thought you wanted me to introduce you to Dem, but I see you didn't need me after all." I saluted Dem on stage with my beer and caught a rather saucy wink from him as a result.

My phone began to vibrate on the bar, signaling that I'd gotten a txt.

_Sora txt: No. Have fun._

_Axel txt: Are you going to the con next weekend?_

"No, I guess I didn't need you, but I do want you." And her hand was on my thigh.

Sora never txt'd me back that night, but I really didn't give it much thought. I don't know if you noticed or not, but I was kind of preoccupied. Rikku could get paid for what she does, she was that good.

* * *

To her credit, Rikku didn't call me at all for the rest of the weekend, even though I gave her my number. Now, before you start thinking, 'Oooo, Axel, you must have been less than her expectations', know this: I'm NEVER less than anyone's expectations in that department. Now that we're clear on that, we can move on.

Monday morning I found Rikku at Aerith's desk with Yuffie. They all shut up and got very quiet when they saw me approach, if that was any indication as to their topic of discussion. Rikku was like a normal person at work in front of other people, she didn't cling to me, she didn't expect PDA's and treated the situation as though nothing had happened between us. Granted, that didn't stop her from assaulting me in the utility closet, parking garage, or Xemnas' (my boss) office, when no one was looking.

Sora, on the other hand, wasn't at work at all the following week and wouldn't return any of my calls or txts, though I did only call once more and txt him twice. I can tell when I'm being avoided. I contemplated taking Kairi up on her offer for a ride to the mysterious con that Sora obviously didn't want to tell me to know about, but refrained. Who wants to go somewhere they weren't invited? Not me. Honestly, if Sora called me right now and begged me to go, I'd say no, even though I kinda wanted to go. Yeah, that's just the kind of guy I am.

It was Friday night again, I hate it when the days all start to run into one another, and I was sitting at Rikku's place having a beer with her and a couple of her friends. This was lame. Her friends were complete hippies. By hippies I mean exactly what you're picturing in your head. They were all decked out in earth tones, dread locks, Birkenstocks, and toting more pot then I would want to smoke in a year. At least they drank good beer.

_Txt: Why didn't you come to the con? – This is Roxas btw._

Ah, so I was missed at the convention. Explain that to them Sora, explain to them how you left me cold and alone on the side of the street without an invite to your little con.

_Axel txt: I had things to take care of. Why, do you miss me? :3_

Now you're probably wondering why I didn't tell Roxas that Sora was being a little emo fag and didn't invite me. The thing is, if I revealed that to anyone else it would make ME look like the whiney emo kid that well, whined about shit.

The big dread-locked guy next to me, Xaldin I believe his name was, passed me the joint they had going around and I accepted it gratefully. Things needed to be a little shinier at the moment.

_Roxas txt: Will you come to the next convention in 2 weeks? And how do you feel about being on stage?_

_Axel txt: Where is the next convention? On stage? Depends._

The conversation carried on around me, and I needed a new beer. I got up to go into the kitchen and noticed that I wasn't alone. Rikku followed me over to the refrigerator without saying a word and when I opened it to grab another beer she spun me around, practically shoved me in it and started making out with me. This, my friends, was the first indication that this girl may be a nympho. Shut up, I'm sure some of you may have noticed this before me, and I know you're all sitting there being like 'damn Axel, you're pretty damn slow, moron'.

I must have been more fucked up than I had thought because the cold air from the fridge didn't seem to bother me at all, but I did feel like this girl was raping my mouth. I pictured myself in a long pink gown with one of those upside down ice cream cone hats on my head and playing the part of a damsel in distress. Yeah, I started giggling at the mental image, which turned into full out laughter. Rikku didn't seem deterred by this whatsoever. I'll give you a moment, picture that scene if you will, me _sitting_ in her fridge laughing my ass off, a beer in hand and her attacking me. Priceless.

"Axel, your crotch is vibrating." Rikku muttered as she continued to grind up against me. This girl had no shame.

My laughter settled down as I tried to figure out why my crotch was vibrating, completely missing the fact that it was my phone in my pocket for a while.

_Roxas txt: The next con is only an hour away._

I tried to push Rikku off of me so I could write Roxas back, and it didn't strike me as odd at all. She grabbed a beer from the fridge, pouted and walked back into the living room with the rest of the Grateful Dead. Before I could answer the txt my phone went off again.

_Roxas txt: You should come here, now._

Why hello Roxas, forward much? Maybe I was reading into that too much, ENTIRELY way too much, but for some reason it got my hopes up.

_Axel txt: Oh? And where is here?_

His response was almost immediate.

_Roxas txt: Half hour away, next town over. Bring leather pants if you have them._

_Axel txt: Ooo, kinky, Roxy!_

I had my jacket in hand and was out the door with a wave to Rikku and a salute to Xaldin.

_Roxas txt: Does that mean you're coming?_

… not yet.

That half an hour drive would have only taken me twenty minutes, but I dilly-dallied at my apartment looking for Demyx's leather pants. Ok, so I also didn't want to look desperate. In retrospect, I do realize that I gave up a wild romp with Rikku to go hang out with a bunch of nerds. I wish I could say that it bothered me more.

* * *

Parking at the hotel was EXPENSIVE! I ended up jerry-rigging my own spot of sorts outside of an Applebee's near by, txting Roxas that I was here, and hauling my ass over to the hotel that the convention was in. The lobby was again packed with cosplayers and other random people that couldn't dress themselves to save their life. Seriously, I think they all get secret sales flyers from Hot Topic or something.

"Axel?!"

Oh ho ho, it was Sora, and he sounded delightfully surprised to see me. "Why, hello there Sora. Fancy meeting you here!"

"What are you doing here?" He looked around to see if I was with someone that he recognized, but when he didn't see me hiding anyone, he turned his full attention back to me.

"Roxas txt'd me and asked me to come." I grinned at him. "You know, if I didn't know better, I would say that you've been avoiding me. Say it's not so, Sora!" I clutched my chest just above my heart. I always had a flare for the dramatic.

Sora's eyes narrowed on me in a challenge, but then he just sighed and his shoulders slumped forward in defeat. "I guess I have been neglecting you." Grabbing my forearm, he led me off into a nook just beside the concierge's desk. "Riku and I were fighting and then I saw how you were acting… and it was similar to him… and I don't know how you guys can be like that… but then it was too late… and you know, stuff… and…"

"Sora, _whoa_!" I placed my hands on his shoulders to steady him, "you've got to slow down." In the tiny space that we were in I caught a whiff of alcohol on him. Crap. "Now first, start by telling me why you were fighting with Riku."

"Riku's been seeing someone else."

"And?" I asked, not seeing the problem.

"and, AND he should only be seeing me!" He pointed at himself, like I hadn't grasped the concept here. I rolled my eyes, about to tell him to take off his dress and grow a pair, but then I realized that he looked like he was going to cry. "You wanted to be with me, didn't you?! Why does Riku need someone else?"

"Um, Sora…" What the hell was I supposed to say here?

"And then when Xigbar came in talking all that nonsense about some blond bimbo you were banging at work, I got upset because I wanted you to hook up with Roxas- and then it reminded me of Riku and how he…" Sora sniffed and wiped his nose before he threw his arms around my middle.

This was NOT how this night was supposed to turn out. I was supposed to come out here, get drunk and test the limits of my sexuality with Roxas. Now I have Sora drooling snot all over my front. Great. "Sora, he's only 21 and whatnot, you can't expect Riku to know what he wants so early in the game."

"But I'm 19, and I know what I want."

"Well maybe you're just smarter than Riku then." I smiled down at him and pushed his hair out of his face.

"Thanks, Axel." He muttered but then started to look at me funny. Oh no, oh god, was he trying to do what I think he was trying to do? Was Sora trying to kiss me?!

"Sora don't." I warned and pushed him away. He was definitely feeling drunk and lonely, I've been there, done that, wouldn't want to do it again. "We're friends, remember?"

"Were you trying to molest Axel?" An amused voice spoke up behind me.

"Roxas! Nam!" Sora's surprise was obvious and but was also over shadowed by what appeared to be guilt. "Look, Axel's here!" He gestured to me.

"Come on, let's go talk." Namine took Sora's hand and led him away, leaving me and Roxas to ourselves. Well as much to ourselves as you can be in the middle of a crowded hotel lobby.

"Did you bring the leather pants?" Roxas asked me with a grin, to which I could only nod. The kid looked pretty damn hot! I didn't even have a drink in me and I wanted to try to kiss him. It was like being at conventions was like being in an alternate dimension. Things that I wouldn't normally do seemed perfectly normal here for some reason. He moved himself closer to me and our chests were nearly touching, "I was surprised that you came."

"Well you asked so nicely, how could I refuse?" And before he could answer me I was kissing him long and deep. His arms threaded through my own and encircled my body. It seemed as though he was kissing me back with equal fervor and I forgot momentarily where I was.

When we broke apart he smiled up at me, "that answers one of my questions."

"What question?"

A lovely shade of pink washed over little Roxy-poo's face and he actually stammered his reply somewhat. From what I could make out of it, Roxas had been afraid that I wasn't going to acknowledge our previous kiss and didn't know how to breach the subject with me. "… not to mention, I thought you were straight."

"And trying to hit on Kairi." I eyed him humorously. "I am straight." That one earned me an odd look. I know what you're thinking, I was just practically crawling down the kid's throat, how could I be straight? Well because I'm telling you, I'm straight. "Speaking of Kairi, is she here?"

He was still looking at me like he was trying to picture me without a nose or something, "Yeah, she's running around with some girls for a fluffy girl group that they put together."

Roxas led me up to the room that he was staying in, and that I was presumably staying in as well. The usual cast of characters was present with the addition of a taller blond guy who appeared to sport a bigger attitude problem than Roxas'. "Who the hell is this?" He asked, gesturing towards me.

"This is Axel, he's cool." Hayner stepped up to defend me, "'Sup? Glad you could come!"

"Roxas, you'd better make sure that your giant boyfriend there pays me for the alcohol, I'm not running some free bar here." The same blond pile of attitude pointed at me threateningly.

"Fuck off, Seifer." Roxas said pointing over to a space near the far bed, indicating where I could drop my things (read as toothbrush and leather pants). "Don't listen to him, he's just a dick."

"I can HEAR you, ya know!" Seifer spread his arms wide while making his obvious statement, "and you'd better listen to me, I bought the damn booze!" Hayner was rolling his eyes and trying to steer Seifer off to another topic in diversion.

"Do you want a drink?" Roxas asked almost skeptically.

After that show, I don't think I wanted anything that had to do with that Seifer kid. I wondered if he was only acting that way because of the alcohol he'd consumed or if he was just a breath of fresh air naturally. "Are you kidding me? What the hell is that guy's problem?" Roxas shushed me because I wasn't bothering to keep my voice down, screw that guy if he heard me.

In that moment it was decided that we would spend as little time as possible in the room until we had to sleep. It wasn't long before we found Kairi and managed to mooch a bottle of Pepsi with some rum in it from her and her group.

Roxas and I ended up sitting in a group of lounge chairs off to the side of the lobby, participating in my favorite sport, people watching. "I wonder how Nam is making out with Sora."

I looked over at the kid skeptically, "Are you kidding? He was nearing the crying stage of the 'oh-whoa-is-me' mood. I'm sure her shoulder is getting soaked and he won't remember half of it in the morning." I passed the bottle over to Roxas.

He examined the bottle in his hands, not saying anything but giving that Pepsi way more thought than it needed. After a while he just handed it back to me without having drank any. "Have you ever been in love?"

"Of course I have."

"I don't mean your parents, Axel."

"Pffft, neither do I." Was he trying to insinuate that I was incapable of having been in love before? I took a sip and handed the bottle back to him. This time he drank some.

"If you were in love before, why aren't you still with that person?" He drank some more.

"Things didn't work out and we went our own ways. It happens." I took the bottle back from him before he could finish it.

"So you just thought you were in love then." He acted like he had me and the situation completely figured out. "Because if you had really been in love then you'd still be with that person now."

I finished the bottle, "If you subscribe to the theory of there being only one person for everyone, yes. Personally, I think you can fall in love multiple times."

"So you admit that you weren't in love then?"

"No, not really. I'm saying that if I wasn't in love, then I certainly THOUGHT I was in love, it felt like I was in love. If that wasn't love, and only some precursor to it, then I think I may be scared shitless if I ever really do fall for some one." I know what you're thinking, that I'm normally as deep as a puddle, but the question had just rubbed me the wrong way. For some reason I felt the need to defend myself.

He took the empty bottle back from me and gave me this look that clearly said 'fuck you, thanks for the backwash'. "Should we get more?" I just shrugged and looked around. "I REALLY don't want to go see Seifer at the moment"

"Just txt Kairi and ask her to bring us another one. Tell her I'll compensate her." I wasn't so keen to go see that Seifer guy right now either. He just nodded and started to tap away at his phone's keyboard.

"I feel bad for Sora, but I've been listening to it ALL day long and I need a break from him for a bit." He closed the phone and set it aside. "I wish Riku would just stop dicking him around."

"I don't know, if Sora wants someone to be with ONLY him, then maybe he should move on, ditch Riku, and find someone that agrees with him." I never understood that, why people stayed with people they clearly have issues with. It's not worth it and you can't change people.

Roxas rolled his eyes and shot me a sidelong look like I'd missed something blatantly obvious. "Sora is in love with Riku, he has been since before I knew him. He'll stay with him regardless of how much it hurts him."

"Well that's just stupid."

The cell phone between us buzzed, and I assumed it was Kairi. "Yeah, well that's Sora. The worst part is that we all know, but Sora won't tell Riku because he's afraid that he'll leave him." He picked up his phone to check the message. "Kairi said she'd be here soon."

"That's pathetic. If Sora wants Riku to not see other people then he needs to say so otherwise Riku has no idea that there's even a problem."

"What if Riku didn't want to give up this other person? What if he left Sora for being so needy? I think Sora is better off being in this situation than without Riku." The phone went off between us again, breaking the retarded discussion. This kid had some messed up views on how a relationship should be and I wasn't about to sit here and play Dr. Phil with him all night.

Roxas opened the phone and started a reply. "So Roxy, if you're here with me, doesn't that mean that you've never been in love before? I mean if you're buying into the whole 'love will conquer all' thing and what not." He didn't answer me, just smiled a small smile while still txting. "Does that mean you've been saving yourself for me this whole time?" I laughed out.

He flipped his phone closed and chuckled, "Yeah Axel, something like that."

It didn't take Kairi long to bring us another two bottles, I reminded myself to make it up to her later. There was also a group of girls with her and they were all in silly looking fairy costumes. None of them were attractive and I couldn't help but wonder if Kairi hung out with these ugly girls so she could be the pretty one.

I began pulling out my wallet to pay her for the drinks, "Oh no Axel, I don't want your money."

I blinked at her surprised but put my wallet back nonetheless, "Thanks Kairi, that's really nice of you."

"You still have to pay me, just not with money." WHAT? Was she asking me to whore myself out for two lousy drinks? "For this one", she held up a soda bottle, "I want you two to make out." She pointed between me and Roxas as a couple of the girls in her group giggled and I realized that they'd all come for a show.

"Kairi!" Roxas whined and tried to snatch the bottle away from her.

Make out with Roxas for some rum? Why thank you, I was planning to do that anyway. "And for the second one?" I asked, edging up on my seat a little more.

An evil look spread over her face. "You have to let me make you your own No.8 coat and let Nam and I do a photo shoot of you two in them." I heard a squeal from the group of fairy fuglies.

"You want to take my picture for booze?" She nodded. "Kairi, I'll ALWAYS work for booze, you know me too well."

"Axel you ass! They're going to-", whatever else he was going to say was cut off as I pulled him out of his chair, into my lap, and started kissing him like I was an exhibitionist. I kind of thought Roxas was going to fight me on this one, but to my surprise his he played right along. His arms came up around my neck and he shifted his weight to a more comfortable position.

"That.Is.So.Hot."

"I KNOW!"

"You were _SO_ right, Kairi!"

When we broke apart I couldn't help the lazy smirk that passed over my face. I felt it, but I couldn't stop it. But to my astonishment, Roxas' smirk mirrored my own. It took me back for a moment and that was all the time that he needed to take the proffered bottle from Kairi. "I didn't agree to the photo shoot though." He said taking a long pull from the drink. "I'm just going to keep this bottle and you and Axel can work out what he ALONE has to do for his bottle."

Kairi frowned and the lights went out in the eyes of the yaoi fan girl group she led. "Roxas", she sounded disappointed.

"No." He answered in a stern voice.

"What's the big deal? It's only a couple of pictures." I asked and Kairi looked hopeful.

Roxas spun around on me like I'd turned traitor. "Axel, she'll make us pose in VERY compromising positions and post them on the internet."

"So?"

"No."

"Fine." Kairi shoved the bottle in my hand, gathered her group, and walked away.

Once the girl squad was a good ways away I opened my bottle and started in on it. "That wasn't very nice you know."

"Dude, I don't know about you, but my dad has access to the internet." He wasn't looking at me while talking and just looked around at the people passing by. "I'd rather not have him see me dressed up, or half undressed if she had her way, and being fondled by some guy in leather."

"Can I still fondle you in leather later if I promise not to let your dad watch?" I asked leaning out of my chair towards him.

Roxas smirked and turned towards me to lean in as well, "I did ask you to bring leather pants, didn't I?" Without another thought I closed the gap between us and captured his lips. I liked the way this kid thought.

Our kisses were becoming more heated and Roxas crawled onto my chair, and straddled my lap. "Is he better than Rik(k)u?" We broke apart to find a drunk Sora leaning over us, very close to our faces. I had no idea if he was talking about Riku or Rikku, or if he was even talking to me at all.

"Sora! Leave them alone." Namine pulled him back by the arm.

"But I want to make out with somebody too! Where's Riku?" He hiccupped and whined, staggering a bit as he latched onto Namine.

Roxas downed the rest of his drink and grabbed my arm. "Let's get out of here." I could tell that Roxas was definitely feeling the effects of his previous drinks. His inhibitions were going out the window and so was shy, blushing Roxas.

"Namine, do you need help taking care of him?" I asked seeing that Sora was relying heavily on Namine as a human crutch.

"No." Namine and Roxas chorused. I shot Roxas a look and Namine explained that she was on her way to bringing Sora to bed. She said that she could handle it.

Roxas pulled my arm and led me away from Namine and Sora. "Would you slow down? We just totally bailed on Namine back there." He stopped pulling my arm and turned around to face me. "Roxas?" He stood on his toes, ran his tongue up my neck and then took my mouth fully with his. He grabbed me by the front of my jeans and pulled me out towards the parking garage.

I liked where this was going. Roxas, horny, alone in a parking garage…

He seemed to have a specific destination in mind and soon we stopped at a silver sedan and he was opening the back door. "I'm assuming this is your car?" I asked before following him into the backseat.

"No, I don't have a car, it's Seifer's. But, since I'm paying for the damn thing to be parked here I might as well get my money's worth, right?" He grinned and I didn't need any more of an invitation.

It was awkward and cramped and half of me kept slipping off the seat, but ask me if I cared. Roxas was so wanton that I was having a hard time keeping my hands from wandering. The soft curves, I had for some reason expected to feel, were replaced with harder, more defined lines. Running my hands up under his shirt felt strange, but his warmth was delicious. As I released his mouth and made my way over to his ear, his breaths and small noises filtered into my conscious. I found my hand moving on its own accord and unbuttoning the top of his jeans.

Now, I'd already known he was hard, it's kind of difficult to miss something like that when you're rubbing on someone in small backseat of a car. To tell the truth, judging by my own hardness, I would think the kid was broken if he wasn't hard. But the moment I felt the velvety smooth tip of his cock against my finger tips, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I was with a guy.

I was sobering quickly and DEFINITELY having second thoughts. What the hell? How was I supposed to get out of this? I couldn't just shove him off me and walk away, this was different from most girls I'd been with, in that I actually LIKED Roxas. Can you imagine how it would feel to be rejected right now if you were in Roxas' position? Jebus, I'd fucked up.

"Unnnhh, Axel, back up." He moaned from under me and pushed at my chest. In some tangled movements I found myself sitting up on the opposite side of the seat and Roxas in my lap. "I want to taste you." He mouthed against my mouth and with one last wet kiss he was working his way down my chest and into my pants.

This was probably the moment that I should have stopped Roxas before things could go any further, but even though I had my reservations about him being a guy, there was still the matter of the painful hardness between my legs. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the best blow jobs I'd ever gotten in my life. Somehow in my mind I figured that what we'd done was ok because MY dick in HIS mouth meant he was gay, but it just meant that I was horny. Even still, I didn't stay the whole night and ended up driving home at the butt-ass crack of dawn. I didn't say goodbye, I just left. You can yell at me for it all you want, but I had to go back to the real world.

* * *

End Part 3

AN: I didn't want to write the txt messages in txt speak, it's a pain in the ass to decipher some times and I thought that it would have detracted from the story. Also, I'm sorry if some parts were a bit rushed, I'm not happy with this chapter and may go back to fix it later, but I just couldn't fix it when I tried previously.


	4. Part 4

I don't own KH.

* * *

**Life Out of Costume**

Part 4

* * *

"Hey, have you seen my leather pants?"

"Nah man, sorry, Dem."

"Damn."

* * *

Despite what you're probably thinking, I did not run home and immediately have sex with Rikku. Honestly, I spent the better part of Saturday in bed, staring at my ceiling, alone. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I definitely needed to sort a few things out.

I obviously enjoyed kissing Roxas, I couldn't deny that. The kid was good company to be around too. I tried to picture in my mind what it would be like to have sex with him and that led to images of him sucking my dick and THAT led to me wanking off.

What if I was gay? Nah, I couldn't be, I still got off thinking about women and boobies- so that made me possibly bi? What the fuck, I think I'm just going to stick with the theory that I was just REALLY horny. I tried to figure out what had caused that ripple of fear to course through me the moment I got my hand in his pants. The idea of being with Roxas wasn't bad, in fact, I found myself thinking about it a little more than I probably should have.

"Dude, are you alright?" Demyx was standing in my doorway with his arms crossed. "It's like you're hibernating or something."

He'd interrupted my train of thought, though admittedly it had only been going in circles, but it irked me that Dem was standing in my room while I was thinking about these things. I sat up in bed, ran my hand down my face, and had my moment of clarity. It wasn't being with a guy that freaked me out, it was people KNOWING that I was with or had been with a guy that scared the shit out of me.

* * *

I was hesitant to go into Starbucks on Monday and face Sora, but at least Xigbar wasn't there to further instigate the situation. As I pushed the door open I saw Sora standing behind the counter fixing a drink, but there were no other customers. The door clicked closed and the sound alerted him to my presence. I had expected him to turn around and shot me down with a scowl the moment he recognized who had walked in, but instead he wore an unsure smile on his face. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come or not." He said and pushed the drink he'd made over the counter towards me.

"You know me, Sora, I'm addicted to caffeine, I can't stay away." I raked my eyes over him, trying to decipher his mood.

"Listen, I'm sorry, _really_ sorry, about how I acted at the con." I tried to pay him for the drink but he just waved off my efforts and explained that it was on the house. "I was drunk, though I know it's not an excuse-"

"Sora, don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong."

He came around the counter and nodded with his head towards some seats by the window. Leaning his weight on his elbows, he rested them on his knees, and studied his hands. "I don't really remember too much about Friday night, but I do remember seeing you in the lobby-"

"Which time? You were being a whiney emo-fag."

He looked up at me from his hands and I felt kind of bad for voicing that out loud. Just kind of. "When I was being a whiney emo-fag and trying to get you to give me a pity kiss."

"Uh, Sora, you were drunk, like you said." I was wondering why he hadn't brought up anything about Roxas yet. I mean, it was kind of obvious that I wasn't there for the rest of the weekend. "Besides, I can't really fault you, I know I'm irresistible and all." I winked at him and he smiled, seemingly calming down as well. "So does this mean that you're going to stop ignoring me and answer my calls and txts again?"

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that too."

"Don't worry about it." A customer came in but for once Sora's co-worker did something and left Sora and I alone. "How're things with Riku going?" I asked, hoping not to bring up a sore subject.

"You don't have to pretend that you care about it." He smiled at me, like he appreciated the gesture but thought that I wasn't serious. "I have my fag-hag Kairi to talk these things over with."

I frowned at him, "Yeah I noticed that you hadn't been getting the best advice." He looked at me skeptically, "Roxas told me about your little situation."

"Then Roxas has a big mouth."

_Bad thoughts, Axel, bad thoughts…_

I coughed to give myself a second to regain my train of thought. "Listen, it's really none of my business-"

"You're right."

"-but you should just tell him."

"I've hinted at it, and you're making it sound so much easier than it is." He began to stand up and was looking at me very seriously, "Besides, I can't expect you to understand where I'm coming from. You've got two little blonds to play with who probably don't know about each other."

"You can't compare our situations and I've never lied to either of them, I didn't commit myself one way or another."

"I know you haven't."

"Did you tell Roxas?"

He shook his head no, "Can't really go telling your secrets if you know mine, can I?"

"Sora, I wouldn't hold that over you." I stood and looked him in the eye, but he just turned his back and walked away from me.

"Go back to work, Axel. I don't need help with this, least of all from you." He retied his apron and started busying himself with something behind the counter.

Whatever, fine, I don't know why I was trying to butt myself into his problems. I got enough relationship crap dumped on me from my co-workers. Alright, I was kind of interested in Sora's drama only because he was gay and I wanted to see how his relationship worked out. So far it sounded just like any other hetero relationship with communication issues.

_

* * *

_

Roxas txt: Are you just going to ignore me now?

It was Thursday night, and I had just come home from going to the movies with Larxene. You're probably wondering why I didn't take Rikku, well earlier in the week I'd had a bit of a traumatic experience with her.

_Axel txt: I wasn't planning to._

I swear to God that she was about to say the 'L' word to me. Who tells someone that they love them after only knowing them for just over 2 weeks?

_Roxas txt: I thought you had more balls than to run away._

Whoa, was Roxas calling me out? At least he was talking to me, which is a lot more than I could say for a lot of other people in his position.

_Roxas txt: Look, I know you're STRAIGHT so it wasn't really a surprise._

_Axel txt: I am straight and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was leaving.  
_

_Roxas txt: If you're straight, then your dick in my mouth suggests otherwise._

Touché!

_Axel txt: I have to give credit where it's deserved and that was the best head I've ever gotten._

_Roxas txt: I know._

God this kid was amazing.

_Axel txt: You're drunk, aren't you?_

_Roxas txt: Maybe, what makes you say that?_

_Axel txt: Call it a lucky guess._

I loved how forward he was when he was drunk, he was much more witty and sarcastic too. Sober Roxas was fine, and I had my suspicions that his insecurities stemmed from the fact that he didn't really know me too well. Hopefully once he felt more comfortable, sober Roxas would be more like drunk Roxas (who in my mind I liked to refer to as porn star Roxas some times).

_Roxas txt: Whatever- you can make it up to me the next time I see you.:3_

_Axel txt: Oh? And when will that be?_

Man, I felt like I was back in high school again talking on the phone with some girl for hours.

_Roxas txt: I thought you said you'd come to the convention this weekend? Pick me up, I'll drive with you._

_Axel txt: Fair enough, txt me your address, what time and bring my toothbrush and leather pants._

_Roxas: Yeah, about your toothbrush- buy a new one, I'll explain later._

* * *

If you could see how retarded I looked right now, you'd laugh. I was hiding behind a tree, that up until now I thought was fake, just down the row from my cubicle. Rikku was at Aerith's desk and they were talking about me. I wasn't about to walk into that trap.

Before I knew it there was someone crouched down next to me, "Who are we hiding from?" Xigbar pretended to hide behind a particularly small branch.

"Aerith and Boobs."

"Why are we hiding from Boobs? Fuck, I LOOK for Boobs!"

I sighed and stood up, "She's telling Aerith that she thinks she's falling in love with me."

"So?" He had a look on his face that made him look like he was farting, especially since he was sitting down. That must be his confused face. "Dude, if she wants to love you, let her love as much as she wants. Hell, I'd let her love me 'til I couldn't walk any more."

"Come on Xigbar, she's dumb as a box of rocks." I pointed towards the door, signaling him to join me.

"I wasn't really interested in her for her brains, dude she-" he stopped mid-sentence and just stared at me. "You're seeing someone else, aren't you?"

"What? Why would you say that?" He just smiled at me like the cat that got the cream.

The walk to Starbucks felt longer today, probably because it was getting colder outside and I was a dumb ass who didn't bring a jacket. The warmth and scent of coffee hit me with welcome arms when we finally made it into the shop.

"See? I told you he'd come." Sora said smiling to Riku, who was leaning on the counter. "Every day at 3:00."

"'Sup?" Riku waved and Xigbar pounced.

"Sora, is this your boyfriend?" Xigbar did a half circle walk around Riku, while Riku in turn just raised an eyebrow at Sora.

Sora looked from Riku, to me, then to Xigbar. "No, this is Riku." He gestured over to Riku standing across the counter from him. "Arrrrrr!!" Squinting his eye he made a hook with his finger at Xigbar- a gesture which Xigbar reciprocated and caused Sora to laugh.

"Hey, Axel, that would have been funny, you and Sora would have both been screwing someone named Riku!" Xigbar turned to me with a smile, already devouring a giant cookie before Sora could even ring us up.

"What?" Sora whispered and looked between me and Riku.

_Fuck._

Sora thought that the other person Riku was seeing was me?! Come on, how ridiculous did that sound?

"Yeah, that blond chick that Axel's been waxing in our office is named Rikku too." Xigbar managed around the cookie. "Ooo, but Sora, I have new gossip!"

Sora visibly relaxed and finished ringing us up. "Don't listen to him, he's retarded, remember?" I tried to be good natured about the whole situation but yeah, what could I do short of dragging Xigbar out of there?

"Hey, hey, that's not nice!" Xigbar chided and reached across the counter to throw his arm across Sora's shoulders. "Sora here and I are buddies!"

"So what's the new gossip?!" Sora was a little more excited about this than he should be.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Riku, "What're you doing here?"

"I was waiting for Sora so we could head over to the convention. He was supposed to get off at 3:00." He looked down at his watch, "He wanted to wait for you to come."

"I think Axel is seeing someone other than Boobs, that's what I call Rikku, AND I think it's more than just a physical thing- ifyouknowwhatImean." Xigbar was fixing his coffee with enough sugar to constitute it as sugar, with a little bit of coffee mixed in.

"REALLY?!" Sora took off his apron but in the process beamed a HUGE smile in my direction.

"Yeah little dude, it's a good thing you got over your crush on him, it looks like someone has really snagged his interest this time."

"Shut up, Xigbar." I threatened.

* * *

Roxas had some money. Scratch that, Roxas' parents must have money. The directions I was given brought me to a school just outside of the city, one of the most prestigious schools in the area. It had taken me about forty-five minutes to drive there, but it was mostly highway.

He was sitting out on the front steps of his dorm building with a backpack next to him and a comfy looking sweat shirt. He smiled at me when I pulled up and made his way over to the car. "Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked after he'd shut the car door.

"I don't have to be crammed in the backseat with Seifer driving."

I grinned over at him and started to drive away. Our previous encounter in a car immediately came to mind, "I thought you liked to be crammed in the backseat?" His face turned red he mumbled something at the window, turned away. "What was that? I missed it." I was loving it.

He turned back to face me and something akin to a smile was forming on his face. "Maybe you'd like to try cramming it in my backseat some time. That is, unless you're scared, or maybe too _straight_ for that." I coughed and my foot slipped off the gas. I looked over at Roxas with shock clearly written all over my face. "What?" he asked, the perfect picture of innocence.

The kid got me, and I didn't mind it at all.

"So, what, is there one of these conventions every weekend?" I asked Roxas as we walked into the hotel that we were staying in. This con was actually in a convention center so there were people staying in a number of hotels surrounding it.

Roxas shook his head and hiked his back pack up to adjust it on his shoulder. "Nah, it's the end of the season, the next con isn't for another two months after this one."

Two months? Considering that I only saw Roxas at these conventions, not having a convention for another two months put a considerable damper on those encounters. The elevator opened and we got on with one other person. "We're staying with Hayner, Pence and Olette." Roxas explained as he hit our floor's button.

The other person on the elevator with us appeared to be older than me and out weighed both Roxas and I combined, soaking wet. He was wearing headphones, so I felt it was safe to assume that he wasn't listening to us. "Hey, Roxy, what costumes did you bring this time? I'm picturing you in a young Swedish maiden costume and braids."

"Why Axel, I thought you were into leather?" He answered back with a smirk.

I looked to make sure that our elevator guest still wasn't listening to us. "What did you tell everyone about why I left last weekend?" I asked him in all seriousness.

Roxas smiled over at me, "I told them that you had stuff you had to take care of and that you'd only come out to see me for a little while anyway."

"So you told them that you had me cock whipped?" I asked a little exasperated.

"Did I say that?" He asked simply, "Besides, I didn't lie, did I?" With this remark he shot me a side ways grin and casually leaned against the wall of the elevator.

A loud noise sounded in the elevator that was unmistakably a fart. I looked at Roxas, who at the same moment looked at me and our attention was then turned to the guy with the headphones on. I sputtered to control my laughter from trying to escape and I could tell Roxas was fighting much the same battle. An ominous odor filled the small space and thankfully the culprit got off shortly afterwards.

The smell followed him out of the doors and before they could even close behind him Roxas was doubled over with laughter.

* * *

As it turned out, Kairi had went ahead and made me a No.8 coat anyway, she said it was in hopes that Roxas would come around some day for a photo shoot. She was currently doing my hair and I was flipping through the channels.

"What's the deal with you and Roxas anyway?" She tugged a bit at my hair, pulling it back away from my face. "This is the most cons I've seen him at in such a short period of time."

"Huh? I don't know." I answered truthfully. I had NO IDEA what was up with Roxas and I other than just having fun.

"Yeah, normally he doesn't have the money to come to so many, living in a dorm and going to school and all." I didn't say anything and just let her do what she had to do with my hair. I just assumed that Roxas' parents paid for him to go off gallivanting to all of these hotels and conventions. "If you ask me I think he's got a bit of a thing for you."

_It felt like more than a 'bit of a thing' to me when I'd gotten my hand down his pants…_

I quickly cleared my head just in time to see Namine and Roxas come out of the bathroom and ready to go. "You're not done yet?" Roxas whined and flopped down on the bed beside me.

"He's got a lot of hair!" Kairi complained and gave my hair a rather rough tug.

"Ow! Pulling it out isn't the answer!" My scalp throbbed but my hand was swatted away when I tried to sooth it. "Am I almost done?"

Namine fingered the costume Kairi had made me that was hanging in the closet. "Wow Kairi, the coat came out awesome!"

"Thanks!" She piped up and started getting off the bed, "It wasn't so bad making it this time since I'd already made Roxas' and Seifer's."

"You know, I saw Reno down stairs earlier." Namine said quietly to Kairi, but then looked over to Roxas. "He's got like half a group of Organization members."

"Whatever, they probably all look like shit anyway." Roxas huffed in what I would almost describe as a pout.

"Did he have a No.4?!" Kairi bounced, "Omigod! He's like my second favorite after No.8!"

"What?" I found myself asking and would probably regret having done so.

Kairi and Namine turned on me and Kairi launched into a full spiel of an explanation. "Reno dresses up as No.8, that's the character that you're dressed as, though you're OMFG way better at it then he is." I was wondering if she was going to breathe during this diatribe, "Anyway, he's always had this thing for Roxas since he obviously makes the best No.13 ever!"

"Ooo! Roxy, is your jealous ex-boyfriend here?" I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"Oh fuck no!" Roxas all but howled, "He's greasy moron who's completely full of himself." I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it, "Yes, Axel, even more full of himself than you are."

Namine smiled at me like she felt sorry for me and before I knew it I was being ushered out the door.

_Demyx txt: Dude stop going away for the weekend! I'm feeling neglected!_

_Axel txt: Me and you next weekend Dem, I promise._

It was only a short walk over to the convention center, but it seemed to take forever since we had to wait for Kairi. The girl had worn the most impractical shoes I'd ever seen in my life for the sake of 'being true to her character'. Fuck that shit. It was already getting dark out and I questioned why we bothered to get dressed up at all. Apparently there was a night time gathering for Kingdom Hearts, that's the game we were dressed up from, cosplayers.

Sure enough, up ahead I spotted a fountain with a whole pant-load of black cloaked people standing around. When we got there Roxas and Kairi filtered off into the crowd saying hello to people that they hadn't seen in a while I guess, while Nam and I just hung back on the fray. "God damn, what a pile of nerds." I sighed out loud and not for the first time, wondered what I was doing here.

"You're wearing the same thing, if you didn't notice." Nam smiled a wry smile up at me.

"But it looks good on me." I pouted.

Out of nowhere two girls ran up and stopped in front of Nam and I. "Oh my god! You're the best No.8 I've ever seen! Can I get a picture?" One of them squealed.

"Can I hug you?!" The other didn't even wait for an answer and practically jumped on me. "I love you!!"

"What the hell…" I tried pushing this girl off of me. Was she wearing cat ears?

The other girl tried pulling her friend off of me as well. "Wow, I'm sorry, is he your boyfriend?" They asked Namine who just stood back and watched the whole thing.

Namine just shook her head no, "NAM?!" I let out the most undignified screech I'd ever heard escape my body.

For a moment the crazy fan girls released their death grips on me and I soon found out why. "Ahhh, a hot No.13!" One of them broke away to grab their new prey and drag them over. Hot No.13? Thank god, Roxas had come back to save me! "We NEED to get a picture of the two of you together!"

"Ok, but I think you should let him breathe." The No.13 laughed and didn't sound like Roxas. We quickly posed for a picture and the cat girls moved onto new targets. "Wow, they get worse every con, don't they?" The No.13 explained. "I'm Tidus by the way." He pulled his hood back and offered his hand. "Holy crap, you do make an awesome No.8."

"Thanks." I muttered, growing a little irritated at the statement. "I'm Axel, and this is Namine."

"Oh, we know each other." Namine stepped up closer to me, "Hey Tidus." She gave him a little wave.

"Yeah, long time no see." He smiled but made no other motion to greet her. "If you're here then that must mean that Roxas is near by, huh?" Even as he said the statement he was looking around through the crowds, presumably trying to spot Roxas.

"Can I get a picture?" A nervous young girl stood before us with her camera held out in front of her.

"Sure!" Tidus smiled at her and came next to me to pose for a picture. Next thing I knew his arms were around my middle and he was smiling up at me.

"Thanks!" Waved the girl and then disappeared back into the crowd. Before I could even brush the Tidus kid off of me he stepped away. He and Namine started talking about my coat and how Kairi had made it, completely leaving me out of the discussion. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Namine was trying to flirt with him.

Eventually more people dressed as No.13 made their way over to me and I ended up in the middle of what I can only describe as a harem of No.13s. It was really strange, it was like being surrounded by copy Roxas' with the real one nowhere in site. Like everything else, it got old after a while and I found myself sitting on the edge of the fountain with Namine.

"Why didn't you go with Tidus?" I asked her, pulling out a much deserved smoke.

Her hands were clasped and resting on her knees, "Was I that obvious?"

I nodded, "but to be fair, I think he was into you too."

"I don't know, him and Roxas have always been rivals. I don't know if he's just interested in me because he sees it as something to compete with Roxas in or if he actually likes me." She sighed and stared off into the crowd.

I stayed quiet, I understood her situation and wouldn't have wanted to be in the middle of it either. "Why are Tidus and Roxas rivals anyway?"

"They both dress up as No.13 and think they're the shit."

I had to laugh at that, "Seriously? They're having a pissing contest over dressing up as cartoon characters?" She shrugged and then nodded. "Tell me again why you're interested in this guy then."

"Oh, you can't point fingers here." She looked meaningfully at me, turning her body to face me. "Care to explain why you're interested in Roxas then?"

I put my cigarette out, "Who said I was interested in Roxy?" The 'are you serious? Do you really think I'm buying that' look was clearly plastered on her face. "It's nothing serious."

Her demeanor softened, "Well at least he's loosened up a bit. He's been so uptight because of his dad and all. I think you were just what he needed." She must have noticed Sora and Roxas walking towards us at the same time I did, because she turned to me and spoke quickly, "Just try to stay away from Tidus, it will just aggravate Roxas if not."

"Were you two talking about me?" Roxas came up with a smirk.

I stood up to tower over both Roxas and Sora. "Of course we were, Nam was telling me all the sordid details of your costumed romps."

Sora looked confused while Roxas was amused. "Anyway," Sora started, "would you go to the liquor store with Riku? It's going to close soon."

A drink, that's what I needed, I was beginning to feel like I'd stepped into too much high school drama as it was. "I guess, but I'd have to run back up to the room to grab my wallet."

"I'll go with you." Roxas offered a little too quickly.

The walk back to the hotel was quiet, but the silence was filled with a few nudges from Roxas' elbow drawing my attention to some rather interesting looking people along the way. I laughed at Roxas when he cautiously looked into the elevator, no doubt checking for obese, head phone wearing occupants.

"We get a bed this weekend." He said without looking at me as we rode the elevator. "It was my turn, so Hayner gets the floor."

"We? Does that mean that you're going to share your precious bed with me?" Thank god! I had NOT been looking forward to sleeping on the floor again. It made me wonder how the hell I put up with it when I went camping as a kid, especially since I always managed to sleep on a rock or a root or something.

He turned to look at me, a challenge lit in his eyes, "Yes, but are you too scared to sleep in it?"

Fuck that, I was sick of this kid continuously getting one over on me, though admittedly it was kind of hot. I crossed the short distance between us, pressed his body tightly between mine and the back of the elevator car and began to _devour_ him. He responded immediately and we reached our floor all too quickly for my tastes. Later.

* * *

Riku was surprisingly good people to hang out with. I found myself sitting with him nearly IN a planter outside of our hotel watching Roxas, Sora, Hayner and Pence play hack. "It's like we're in the jungle on a covert mission!" Kairi was currently squatting in the planter that Riku and I were sitting on and peeking out from the foliage. "I want a water gun."

"Are you drunk?" Riku asked her while taking the capped bottle of mixed rum and Coke away from her.

"Pffft, no!" She slurred back and tried to grab for her bottle back. Riku ignored her and began drinking her drink and then offered it to me. "Riku, when are you going to marry Sora?" By now she was squatting between us and just behind us with her elbows resting on her knees and her hands propping her chin up. "He'd look so cute in a wedding dress."

Riku didn't answer right away and stared at Sora instead. I wondered if he was doing the same thing I was, trying to picture Sora in a wedding dress. "Kairi, you know you're the only one I want to marry!" He said jokingly and drank some more of her drink.

"Riku!" She swatted at him, "I'm serious!"

This was going in a bad direction. Kairi was drunk and pestering Riku on a topic that Sora definitely did not want discussed. "Kairi, leave him alone." To placate her I gave her back her bottle.

"Hmmph!" She rolled out of the planter and meandered her way over towards Olette who was playing with some sort of handheld game.

"She's toasted." Riku commented on Kairi and her near brush with a fence. I agreed with him and continued to drink my drink. "I don't want you to think I'm an idiot. I know all about Sora wanting a monogamous relationship with me, I just play along pretending that I don't know. This way Kairi and the others can't come out and talk to me about it, tell me what they think and they stay out of my business."

"You don't have to tell me anything."

"I know that you know, you wouldn't have ushered her away like that if you didn't." He sighed and recapped his drink. "Look, you're the only one of this bunch I thought would understand."

"Hey, it's not any of my business what you do." I frowned at him.

Riku stared over at Sora who looked like he was having the time of his life with the others. "I just can't wrap my mind around the thought of never being with anyone else." he muttered.

"Well why should you?"

"I care about him." He spoke quietly, "I care about him a lot."

"Hey!" Sora bounded over to us, "That's my Riku! You've got your own Rikku at home!" He said jokingly and threw himself haphazardly in his not-quite-boyfriend's lap.

"Where was I when they were handing out Rikus?" Riku and Sora immediately stiffened and I saw Roxas standing with a hand on his hip, where Sora had just been standing.

Shit.

I pictured that giant proverbial elephant standing just off to the side while no one said a word. "Guys," Roxas shook his head and cleared the air in front of him, "what's the big deal?"

"You're not mad?" Sora asked shyly, it was obvious that he felt bad for letting the cat out of the bag, or was it that he felt guilty for not having told Roxas sooner?

Roxas shook his head and laughed, "I have no claim on this big red idiot-"

"Hey!" I protested being called a 'big red idiot' even if it was true.

"-besides, " he walked over to stand between my legs right in front of me. "He's here with me and not that other Rikku, isn't he?" The next thing I knew he was in my lap and we were falling backwards into the planter while he was trying to kiss the life out of me- not that I minded.

I know I've said it before, but damn this kid was amazing.

"Alright you two, we don't all need to see that." Hayner laughed and threw an empty soda bottle in our general direction.

Roxas laughing got up off me and pulled me up out of the planter with him, "Let's go to bed." He suggested and we made our way back to our hotel alone.

* * *

"Where's this explanation about my toothbrush?" I asked while fishing my NEW toothbrush from my bag.

Roxas stopped his movements for a hot second but was animated again quickly enough. "It had an accident."

I brushed my teeth, thinking about what kind of 'accidents' a toothbrush could have. "Did it fall in the toilet or something?"

He smiled, seemingly to himself, "Yeah, it did."

"Roxas, it was in my bag, how did it even make it near the toilet?" I was skeptical about my toothbrush sprouting legs, carrying itself into the bathroom and just deciding to take a swim.

A hint of red crept out from under his t-shirt and up his neck. "Well I needed to put it out after I set it on fire, and the toilet was the easiest place." He forcefully ripped back the blankets from the bed.

I watched him climb under the blankets, lie on his side and pretend to be asleep, very angrily asleep. I turned off the rest of the lights and walked over to the bed. Cautiously pulling back the covers, I waited for him to explode and tell me to sleep on the floor, but he didn't. "I thought you weren't mad that I left last time?" It wasn't asked derisively, I simply wanted to know where I stood. Thankfully the others hadn't made it back to the room yet.

Apparently he gave up on feigning sleep and moved over on the bed towards me. He lay on his side and propped his head up on his hand. "I'm not mad." I shifted my eyes towards him in question but said nothing. "I WAS mad, I was pissed actually, but I burnt your toothbrush and calmed down."

Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Easy there psycho', but I was kind of touched that he actually cared. "So when you found out that I was seeing someone else, you said that you weren't mad. Am I going to wake up and not have a toothbrush in the morning?"

"No, what do I care? This Rikku is probably some dumb blond with big boobs that you use to get your rocks off while I'm not around."

"What? How did you know what she looked like?"

"Oh god Axel, she really is a big boobed blond? You're so predictable." He leaned down and kissed me.

"Roxas, promise that you'll never say 'I love you' to me."

"I don't think that will be a problem, Axel."

* * *

I woke up that morning on my back with Roxas sleeping half on me, his head resting on my chest and his arm thrown over me. It was delicious. I did manage to get his shirt off before Hayner and the rest came back for the night. It was rather frustrating to share a bed with someone that you wanted to fondle, but couldn't.

It was very quiet in the room, but I could hear the inhabitants of the room above us walking around. In my limited range of motion, I surveyed the room and saw nothing but an empty bed and rolled up sleeping bag on the floor. Were we alone?

I stayed still and waited, listening for any signs that Hayner, Pence or Omelet -yeah, I know that's not her name, but that's all I can remember her as- were still in the room. Roxas shifted in his sleep and pressed himself closer to the side of my body, grinding a very firm part of his body against my leg. "Unnnn…" He moaned and I found myself holding my breath, not daring to move or disturb this moment.

Lightly, I felt his hand travel down my chest and under the covers. "You're awake, aren't you?" I asked, licking his nose.

His hand ran down my length and cupped my balls through my boxers, "Mmm, and so are you." He turned his face up to smile at me.

_HELLO! Good morning to you too, Roxy._

For some reason, at this moment, his morning breath didn't bother me and I found myself asking, "Wanna get soapy and naked with me?"

Yes, I will tell you right now that I did get very naked, and very soapy with Roxas in the shower that morning. I will also admit that while giving him a hand job it didn't even occur to me to be freaked out. The kid was getting to me.

* * *

"Do you see him?" Kairi leaned over towards me, pointing randomly into a mass of cosplayers. "The one dressed as No.8?"

I had previously been off in my own little world, thinking of a list of ways to get Roxas to make his orgasm face again. Currently I found myself sitting with Kairi and Sora people watching. I refused to go near the game room ever again, so Roxas went off with Pence and Omelet to go get wired in.

"Yeah, I see him." I probably grumbled that a bit, I wanted to get back to my earlier train of thought. "You're talking about the guy with Tidus, right?"

Sora suddenly became very alert and interested in our conversation. "You know Tidus?"

What was Sora's problem? He was acting like I actually knew someone important. "Uh, yeah, I met him yesterday."

"Was that No.8 with him?" Kairi asked, just as interested as Sora.

I leaned back to regain some of the distance that these two had already encroached upon. "No, I didn't see him. He was alone." Kairi looked from me to Sora and then back again. "What the hell is going on? What am I missing?"

Sora leaned back a little presumably to let Kairi explain. "You see, that guy, that No.8 over there is Reno-"

"Who has a GIANT crush on Roxas." Sora cut in.

"-who has a giant crush on Roxas, yes." Kairi shot him a look that clearly said 'if you want to tell this story then do it, otherwise, shut the hell up'. "Tidus can't stand Roxas because he gets more attention for dressing up as No.13 than Tidus does." Not this shit again, these people had some definite issues with their priorities. "Namine has a thing for Tidus-"

"I noticed." I pointed out.

"-but Roxas told Tidus to stay away from her because Tidus is a dick. Well, Tidus took this as Roxas being interested in Namine and therefore has been trying to get her to go out with him ever since." I nodded that I understood, you know, Namine telling me as much yesterday.

Sora jumped back in the conversation, satisfied that Kairi had taken care of enough of the background information. "Did Roxas see you with Tidus?"

"No." I shook my head and looked up just in time to see Tidus waving at me. I had nothing against the kid and I wasn't going to get caught up in this gossiping bullshit, so I waved back. This was probably a bad idea. Tidus tapped Reno on the arm and the two of them started making their way over to our little three-some.

"Oh… shit." Sora said a little wide-eyed, watching them approach us.

Not to be completely rude, I stood to greet them when they got closer. Reno was tall, but I was at least an inch or two taller. "Hey, Axel!" Tidus threw his hand out before him for me to shake.

"'Sup?" I smiled at him and looked to Reno. "Hey, I'm Axel."

"Reno." He said in a deadpan and his eye brow furrowed at me. I knew that look. I've used that look. It was a universal 'I don't like you, piss off' look.

Tidus appeared oblivious to the whole exchange and went on with a smile. "How's your con been?"

"Not bad, though, to be honest this isn't really my thing." I didn't want to insult them by telling them that I thought they were all a big lot of freaks.

"Jesus Christ! I leave you alone for two minutes and look what happens?" That my friends, was Roxas. I couldn't actually tell you whether or not he was saying this seriously or if he was joking. It's hard to tell some times, and given the circumstances, I could see being meant either way.

In a flash, Reno's whole demeanor changed, "Roxas, how are you? We're having a room party tonight, you should stop by."

"Yeah, Axel you should come! We're in that shorter hotel over there, room 415." Tidus indicated the direction of their hotel over his shoulder with his thumb.

There was definitely some tension in the air and I was waiting for Roxas to bristle, or at least come out with some bitingly sarcastic remark. "Guys, are we going to eat? I'm STARVING!" Sora complained from behind me, holding his stomach. Who was he trying to fool?

"Looks like you have something to do, I'll see you tonight?" Reno asked, putting his arm on Roxas' shoulder, letting it slag down the extent of Roxas' arm to his wrist, where it was quickly shaken away.

With a wave and a smile Tidus and Reno were on their way and Roxas was returning to normal. "What were you guys doing talking to them?" Roxas asked, in curiosity.

Kairi and Sora didn't say anything and kind of put their heads down. "I met Tidus last night. He seemed ok."

"Pffft, whatever." Roxas just blew the statement off with a wave of his hand. Kairi was tugging on his sleeve but looking at something behind him. "What?"

"I think they're trying to get your attention." She pointed over towards where Reno and Tidus were in a _very_ suggestive position, posing for some pictures. Wasn't Tidus worried about people thinking he was gay for Reno or something? God, I have no idea how things work with these people. "You two should start making out, that would be hot and really show them up. You know Tidus won't kiss him."

"Why?" Roxas asked, turning around to help Sora pick up his things, "I don't want that kind of attention from those people."

"But Roxas, imagine Reno's face when he finds out that you're with Axel!" Kairi was getting excited now.

I really didn't want to be involved with this mess, "Kairi-"

"I'm not playing into this bullshit. I don't care what those two think or what they think is going on." Roxas started walking away, and Sora was quick to follow him.

"But people will talk about-"

Roxas turned around sharply and looked her in the eye, "Who gives a fuck what these people gossip about? Like any of them matter in the real world. You should stop taking these con politics so seriously and realize that more than half of them are just socially stunted nerds."

Well said Roxas. That totally turned me on! The serious look on his face and an impassioned temperament, what's not to like about that? Roxas got it, he understood, he was now officially set apart from these con people.

We didn't make it to the party that night but definitely took advantage of the fact that everyone else was at the masquerade. Being sober, Roxas was nervous about someone coming back to the room early, so I didn't get to do what I wanted to exactly. What did I want to do? Why screw him into the mattress, of course! I give up. I'm not gay, but I'm definitely gay for Roxas.

I didn't wonder why Rikku's phone number was mysteriously erased from my phone.


	5. Part 5

I don't own KH.

* * *

**Life Out of Costume**

Part 5

* * *

The weather was definitely taking a turn for the worse and that meant that I had even less motivation to get out of bed these days. I considered quitting my job to work with Demyx at the catering business and playing tambourine in his band. What? You don't see that working out so well for me? Yeah, me neither.

There was a bright side though. Aerith had taken the week off for a medical procedure, read as abortion, which meant some shred of peace would fall over the office for the week.

_Kairi txt: You should check out 4chan!_

_Axel txt: wtf is 4chan?_

Wait, I should have known- Yuffie was walking my way, of course if Aerith wasn't in, she'd have to unload her gossip on someone else. Lucky me, it looked like I got to be that prey. "Did you notice that Cloud wasn't in today?" she asked while inviting herself into my cubicle.

I didn't bother to turn and look at her. "No, I didn't."

_Kairi txt: It's a website – for cosplayers it's like an online trash magazine._

I don't know why, it's not like I asked her to, but she took a seat on my desk and looked out of my cube to make sure that no one else was coming. "Don't you think it's a little convenient that both Aerith and Cloud are out on the same day, the day that Aerith is having her 'procedure' done?"

"Shit Yuffie, I think you actually mistook me for someone that cared." I rolled my eyes and typed 4chan into Google. I'll admit, I LOVE that 'are you feeling lucky' button that they have on Google and hit it every time, regardless of whether or not I think it will work.

Yuffie huffed and stood up, "God, Axel, you're such an asshole. I don't know how Rikku puts up with you."

"I have a big cock." I looked at her, trying to be dead serious, but I felt a smile threatening to crack my venire.

Her face was red and she seemed to be shuffling through things in her mind, but couldn't settle on just the right thing to say. Maniacal laughter sounded from the other side of the wall and I knew that Xigbar had heard the whole thing. He always showed up at the most opportune moments. "Dude, priceless." Break time.

I don't know what happened between Sora and Xigbar, but they seemed to be the bestest of best buddies. They greeted one another with their usual pirate-esque 'arrr' and hooked fingers before Sora even noticed me. Well fine, let the 'special kids' bond. I grabbed my drink and walked off over to the comfy seat by the window. I'd brought my laptop with me today, wanting to look up this 4chan thing.

"… and he was all 'I've got a big cock', and she was all…" Xigbar regaled Sora of our conversation from earlier and I just rolled my eyes, glad for once not to be involved with the two of them.

The main page of this 4chan site had categories and after some searching I found one that read cosplay. Figuring this was what Kairi was talking about I clicked the link. I couldn't figure this shit out, but scrolled down the page anyway.

_Axel txt: Call me when you get a minute._

My txt barely had time to go through before my phone was ringing. "Hello?"

"_Hey Axel! It's Kairi, what's up? Did you see cgl yet?"_

There was a note of hesitation in her voice. "I don't even know what cgl is." And with that statement she went into a brief description of cgl and the drama that it causes- I'll spare you because you either already know, or you really don't want to.

As it turned out on the second page, at the head of one of the threads was a picture of me dressed as No.8 and Tidus with his arms around me dressed as No.13. "They post those pictures on the internet?"

"_Oh yeah they do. Did you read the responses?"_

"Holy shit!" Sora had some how snuck up behind me while I was taking a brief course in being retarded on the internet. "Go down more!"

"Kairi, I'll talk to you later, I've got Sora breathing down my neck." I said, trying to keep Sora from all but climbing into my lap to steal my laptop. Xigbar must have already headed back to work.

"_OK, just so you know Reno's the trip fag with the name 'Turk'."_

"Thanks." I snapped the phone shut and pushed Sora by the forehead back away from my laptop. "Damn Sora."

Sora pretty much commandeered my laptop at this point and scrolled down through the thread for both of us. There were asinine comments that were no doubt written by fourteen year old girls with nothing better to do than comment on who was hot and who wasn't on the internet, basically people posting under anonymous and flexing their internet muscles. There were a few more pictures of other people dressed as No.8 and No.13, there were some pictures that I wish I could unsee, and then there was a picture of Roxas and I smiling at each other, taken completely candid, and I saw nothing else.

"You've got a little fan club going on here." Sora beamed and read through the comments, "I don't think Reno is part of your club though. What a jackass."

What was the deal with this Reno guy? I could give two shits less about him, but everyone kept trying to make this into a big deal. "He just seems a little cocky but harmless."

Sora looked at me disbelievingly, "I'd be pissed if someone was so openly going after Riku the way Reno is going after Roxas."

"You and Riku are completely different." He briefly looked up from his online gossip rag, "What?" Why was he giving me that look?

"How are you not even remotely jealous?"

I shut the laptop where it was, I'll admit it was so I could go back later and save that picture without Sora knowing about it. "If you hadn't noticed, it's not like Roxas is a big fan of Reno or his advances. Besides, he's free to do whatever or _whoever_ he wants. It's not my business."

"Fine, you keep saying that, but from what I've seen, Roxas IS a jealous person." He stood to go back to work. "In the future, no matter how trivial you think it is, I suggest that you stay away from Tidus and don't talk about Rikku in front of Roxas."

* * *

Today was one of those days that there was just no way that I was going to work. No, I wasn't sick and didn't have any other plans, I just didn't feel like it. I snuggled deeper under my covers and listened to the rain hit the window- yup, definitely not going to work.

By the time I wandered out of my room it was already well past eleven in the morning and Demyx was up. "Skipping work today?"

I nodded in ascent and tried to shake off the remnants of sleep. "You?"

"Nah, I've got to go in at noon today to help out." He slurped around his cereal. "Wanna come with me?" He actually looked kind of hopeful at the prospect.

You're probably wondering why I'd want to go to go to work with Demyx when I'd already set myself on skipping out on going to my own job. It's simple, when I went to work with Demyx he fed me. "Sure, I'll come hang out for a little while."

"Good, I was beginning to get the impression that you thought I smelled bad or something." He smiled up at me and cleared away the remnants of his breakfast/brunch/lunch whatever meal the time of day dictated that it was. "You're becoming quite the little convention junky, aren't you? I hope you're at least learning 'stuff' from them that I'm sure that blond chick will appreciate."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. _Wow, Dem, you have no idea how much she __**wouldn't**__ appreciate what I'm leaning at these conventions._ "They're conventions for cartoons and video games, not sexual exploits. Disappointing, I know."

"How're things going with her anyway? Have you woken up with her standing above you holding an ice pick yet?"

"Fortunately, no." I wandered into my room to change out of my pajama bottoms. "I'm scared of her lesbian roommate so I make up excuses not to stay over when I can help it."

Demyx's eyes grew to the size of saucers, "Lesbian roommate? How is that a bad thing? Is she cute?"

I knew what he was thinking immediately, because my mind had gone there when Rikku told me that her roommate was a lesbo too. Threesome. But holy balls you have to meet this chick to understand my fear. Her name is Paine, which I'm assuming was given to her for a variety of reasons, none of them being because her parents thought it was endearing. I'm scared to go to the bathroom there without the door locked when she's around, being the fem-Nazi that she is. She's made it clear that I'm not her favorite person, and she more than likely has a thing for Rikku.

"Dem, oh god, if it was like a porn, I would have told you already, trust me."

It was nice spending time with Demyx, who I considered a normal person after having been around 'con folk' for a while. We talked about REAL things that were going on instead of the petty gossip and plots of anime that seemed to be a main focus of discussion for most con goers.

There was a nice vibe coming from the kitchen when I walked into the catering house. Some rockabilly music was playing in the background and the dessert chef, Lexaeus, was busy mixing up something that I was damned if he wouldn't let me try. Lexaeus was a big doofus, but holy balls could the man bake.

_

* * *

_

Roxas txt: My dorm-mate is going home for the weekend. Take a hint.

* * *

"You're getting married?" I nearly spit my drink out when Larxene told me that. And here I was thinking she'd just stopped by to see me for the hell of it. "What?"

"It's not like I love him or anything." She sipped her beer like our conversation was nothing out of the ordinary. "It's the easiest way for Zexion to get citizenship."

And I was thinking that MY life was a bit fucked up at the moment. If I had the facts straight here, Larxene, one of my best friends, was getting married to a gay foreign photographer so that he could gain citizenship. Did I mention that SHE was marrying a GAY man?

"Does that mean that you're not going to date other people?" For some reason I was having a really hard time with this.

"Of course we're going to still date other people." I sat back with a bit of relief. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't even remotely interested in her, I just wanted to make sure that she'd thought this through and wasn't saddling herself for this guy. "Axel, come on, seriously, could you see me getting married, for real, ever?"

I thought about this for a moment. Larxene's mother had been married four times now and was currently getting her claws into number five. Let's just say that her outlook on marriage wasn't exactly the fairy tale ending that most girls probably envisioned. "No, not really. But Lark, what do you get out of this?"

"He's my friend and he's your friend too, remember?" She looked pointedly at me.

"I care about you more."

"I know." She smiled and made a stupid face, Larxene had a hard time accepting compliments. She began picking at the label of her beer, "Think of it as a business arrangement. I marry him, he stays in the country, he photographs and promotes my work, and in the meantime I have someone to share the bills with."

"A marriage of convenience, huh?"

"We've been talking about this for a while, I'm kind of surprised that Dem didn't tell you." She crossed her legs and sat back, probably satisfied that I wasn't going to launch into some speech about love and marriage. Like that would have happened anyway.

I got up to get another beer from the fridge and she followed me into the kitchen. "I haven't exactly been around too much. Last weekend was the first weekend that I've had to hang out with Dem in almost a month."

"Oh? What's been going on?" She sat herself at the table and leaned on her folded arms.

"Nothing, really." I closed to fridge behind me and opened my beer.

"You're hiding something from me, I can tell."

"Wow, you're getting married." I commented, taking a long pull off my beer.

"Don't change the subject." She looked at me warningly.

I sighed and joined her at the table. "I met someone."

"That blond with the personality of a crayon, the one that you introduced me to at Dem's show?" The statement was complete with obligatory eye roll. I shook my head. "Someone else?"

"I don't know Lark, it's complicated." I didn't know if I was ready to share my thoughts on Roxas with anyone yet or not, but if I was going to tell anyone about what was going on, it would be Larxene. This weekend would be the deciding factor in my mind I hoped. One long weekend with Roxas would, with any luck, clear up my head.

Speak of the devil…

_Roxas txt: I'm naked under my clothes!_

I couldn't help but smile down at my phone and Demyx chose that time to come home. "Larxene!" He gathered her up in his arms.

"How're you doing Dem? Taking care of Axel, I hope."

"Someone has to." He grinned at her while they both conveniently ignored the fact that I was sitting right there.

Larxene nodded. "Zexion and I decided to get married, Dem." Good, he looked just as shocked as I did. "Don't worry though, I'm not going to stop him from chasing after you still." Zexion had 'feelings' for Demyx, which Demyx didn't return, but the two remained good friends nonetheless.

"Congratulations!" he said, sweeping her up in his arms again. "Thank you, Lark! I really appreciate it." Demyx may be _my_ best friend, but I know he would be crushed if Zexion was deported back to his own country.

"You're welcome. God forbid anything separates you two." See? I wasn't the only one who saw it. "I actually came over to tell you guys and to ask Axel if he would be my maid of honor." Demyx doubled over with laughter and I assumed that he was picturing me in a dress. Most likely pink taffeta. "What do you say, Axel?"

"You know I'd do anything for you, Lark."

"You'd better."

_Axel txt: I'll be right over._

* * *

The drive to Roxas' school was longer than I remembered it being last time, probably because I was high for half of it last time. I was still trying to push images of me in pink taffeta out of my mind when I pulled into his parking lot. Roxas and Hayner were playing hack under a lamp post, but stopped when they noticed my car.

Before I could even get fully out of the door they were on me, "Dude, you've GOT to help me." Hayner was blocking my escape and hanging on my car door. "I need a keg."

"Ugh, sorry, I packed light, and left my spare one at home." I pushed the door and Hayner back in the process. I looked to Roxas for further explanation.

Hayner pulled out a wad of cash and waved it in front of me. "I was supposed to get a keg for the bonfire tonight."

"-which happens to be a birthday party for a rather large individual." Roxas added.

"And if I don't do it then, yeah..." Hayner finished rather lamely. "I got my fake id taken at the liquor store last night."

I looked between the two of them, "As long as I'm not paying for it, I don't care."

The relief immediately washed over Hayner's face, "Thanks man, I owe you my life right now." He pushed the money into my hand. "Are you going to go with him, Roxas?"

"Yeah, I'll go for the ride."

"Alright, I'll see you guys in a bit. Roxas knows what we need and where to go." Hayner waved and was off, pulling his cell phone out as he walked away.

I climbed back into my car while Roxas walked around to the passenger side, "Miss me?" I asked and leaned over towards him after he'd shut the door behind him.

"Not here," he backed away from me and grabbed his seat belt. "And unfortunately, yes."

I was missing something but I was going to figure it out. "Point the way."

It was a short drive to the beverage center, we had the keg and tap and were back to the school in under half an hour. Even though I helped to buy the keg, I was NOT traipsing through the woods with it. Roxas and I were currently waiting for Hayner and his 'helpers' to show up. "I'm sorry about this." He apologized.

"It's not a big deal, I like Hayner." I pulled out a smoke. "Aren't you guys supposed to be hee-hawing it up in a frat house though? What's up with the whole 'middle of the woods' deal?"

"They wanted a fire, who knows, I don't get involved in the planning, I just show up. Hayner is the social butterfly." He kicked at some small rocks on the ground with his hands in his pockets.

The sky had grown dark and there was a chill in the air. "So, care to tell me why you couldn't give me an 'OMG Axel, I missed you so much, you can't even begin to count the number of wet dreams I've had about you' kiss earlier?" Roxas' head snapped up so quickly it startled me, causing me to nearly choke on my inhale and he looked around the parking lot. Something was DEFINITELY going on. "What?" I asked mocking him by looking around the parking lot COMPLETELY inconspicuously, heavy on the sarcasm. "Ooo, are you seeing another guy at this school?"

There was a fear in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. "Would you shut up?" He nearly hissed at me.

I put my cigarette out on the ground and turned to face him. "What the hell is your problem?" I wasn't going to stick around if he was going to be a little bitch all weekend.

He sighed and finally looked me in the eye, "Listen, you're the only guy that I'm seeing and as far as everyone around here is concerned I'm straight."

Everything made sense now, ok, no, no it didn't. I couldn't help but laugh. "And you ridiculed me?"

"Shut up." He folded his arms, "I can admit that I like the cock, doesn't mean that these bunch of douche bags need to know it though. You on the other hand couldn't even admit it to me- someone you KNEW wouldn't judge you for it."

I found this, like many of Roxas' insights into my personality, condescending and accurate. A comfortable silence had settled over us and I found myself grinning like a fool. "Am I really the only guy you're seeing?" I couldn't help myself from asking.

He didn't look up at me and just smiled down at his shoes. "Yeah, I guess so."

* * *

It turned out to be a nice night and despite my preconceived notions, I was actually having a good time. I was currently sitting at the edge of the fire and using a log to prop my back up with. "You never did tell me, what do you go to this school for."

"To learn, dumbass." Roxas didn't appear to be a very happy camper and was currently glaring at the fire as though it had wronged him in some way.

I was getting towards the end of my beer, and wasn't exactly too excited at the thought of getting up to get another. "You know what I mean, Roxy. What are you studying."

"Don't call me that." He grunted and poked the fire with a, in my opinion, pretty cool looking marshmallow roasting stick- though I could've just been hungry. He quickly grew bored, threw the stick in the fire, and stood up, brushing his pants off. "Want another one?" He asked, his hand already outstretched for my nearly empty cup.

"Sure, make yourself useful." I didn't even look at him, just shoved the cup in his hand. This was not what I was expecting this weekend to be like when I signed up for this field trip and figured that getting drunk was a good idea right about now.

Roxas wasn't gone too long before someone quickly took up his seat. I looked to my left and saw Hayner grinning at me over the brim of a plastic cup. "Having fun?"

"Oh, a blast." I answered dully.

Hayner shoved an extra cup of beer into my hands, "This should help that." He said and went back to drinking his own. "Thanks again man, I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come along. See that big guy over there?" He motioned towards a rather large guy who was guffawing at a joke. "His name is Rai and this is his birthday party."

I could see right away why someone like Hayner would be intimidated by Rai, but I don't really think that it was for the physical beating that Rai could hand out. No, I think this Rai guy was the quintessential meat-head jock that had a pocket full of friends because of his athletic abilities and nothing else. It was usually best for someone who was interested in popularity and social status, like Hayner, to keep on their good side.

"No problem, don't mention it." I grumbled into my beer keeping an eye out across the fire for signs of Roxas returning.

Hayner leaned in a little closer, "What's the matter? Not enjoying Roxas' real life?"

"It doesn't matter to me what he pretends to be here, but he's acting like a dick wad. I don't see why he asked me to come if he was just going to be a testy little shit all weekend."

Hayner nodded and sat back a little, making himself comfortable against my log. "He's been having some issues with his dad lately, I'd hoped that having you around would have changed his mood somewhat."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, he hasn't told you about his father?" Hayner shot me a sideways glance.

I was still watching the other side of the fire and noticed Roxas reappear from a group of people, carrying two cups. "Roxas doesn't tell me anything."

"Well, did you ask?"

I finished my beer and looked at him, "How am I supposed to ask when I don't know what I'm supposed to be asking about in the first place?"

"Good point." He said, looking up at Roxas' position. "Roxas' dad, DiZ, is the top heart surgeon in the country, since Roxas is here studying medicine, let's just say that he has a little more pressure than the rest of us from home." Hayner's voice trailed off towards the end probably because Roxas was getting closer.

It wasn't until much later in the night that we finally made it out of the woods and back into the dorms. If I had actually thought the whole situation through, I probably wouldn't have gotten drunk, and therefore been able to drive. I really saw no reason to stay here, things weren't exactly going well and I could have been home hanging out with Demyx or getting laid.

Roxas unlocked the door to his room and I followed in behind him. The moment that I'd closed the door behind us, he was on me with his arms wrapped around my middle and his face buried into my chest. "Wow, I'm starting to think you may be bi-polar there, Roxas. Running all hot and cold on me." He didn't say anything right away and just pushed his face into my shirt a little more.

"I didn't think it would be like that." He mumbled into my front. "I didn't even want to go to that stupid party." He paused and I wondered if he was waiting for me to say something. "I hate that I have to pretend that I fit in- I hate that you've been here for HOURS now and I haven't even gotten to kiss you."

My arms were casually draped over his back, I wasn't sure what was happening, and I was still a little irked at his sudden attitude changes. "You know I don't-"

"I'm sorry for being an ass!" He nearly shouted cutting me off. "I know I haven't been really fun to be around tonight but I didn't think that you being here would affect me so much." He must have caught the smirk that was growing on my face because he cut me off before I could even comment on his statement. "Not like that, I meant that fact that it brings into sharp contrast the life that I have when I'm with my friends at cons and the life that I have when I'm at school and under my father's thumb. It just gets to me and I'd thought that I could push it down if it affected me but yeah…"

"Damn Roxas-" I started but was cut off AGAIN as he started kissing me. "You're such a cock stain." A smile and a 'fuck off' was all I got before he was walking me over to one of the two beds in the room. "You know, you'd best be planning to make it up to me, the whole asshole routine you had going on earlier."

With a grin he shoved me back and I landed on the bed. "Oh, I plan to."

And he did. Whoever said that the sub is actually the one in control was right, either that or they'd met Roxas. There was no girlish hiding of anatomy, I'm sure he would have been comfortable doing what he did with spot lights on him. He was good and he damn well knew it. Porn star Roxas was my newest hero.

* * *

True there were two beds in the room and we were crammed onto one another on Roxas' single, but it was appealing. I woke in the morning to find a very awake Roxas licking my chest. I knew that this was a deciding moment. I had been drunk last night, an excuse that I was still entitled to use, but I was sober now. Whatever my actions were now, I was essentially responsible for. I had some balancing to do. Gay, straight, or gay for Roxas – I was past gay for Roxas. Great AMAZING sex but with a side of mental instability- don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I thought the kid was crazy, far from it. Without further thought I pushed my finger down between his ass cheeks and ran it over his entrance. Needless to say we didn't leave his dorm room all day, aside from using the bathroom, and on my last trip back from using the toilet, the sex funk hit me like a palpable wall. Holy shit. A shower and airing out the room were definite musts at this point.

The sky had grown dark by the time we left the dorms. We hadn't eaten all day long, so we both agreed to getting some food. "It's walking distance." Roxas pointed down the hill when I had started towards the parking lot. "Coming back up the hill helps you to work off all the crap that you ate at the bottom of it."

I shoved my hands in my pockets and pulled my shoulders up to my ears to keep warm. "I think I got plenty of exercise already today."

"Mmm." He smiled in agreement. We walked a ways in silence, my mind wandering over the events that had taken place earlier in the day. That train of thought had to end rather quickly because I was starting to think that taking Roxas on the park bench over there was a good idea.

The diner at the bottom of the hill was a cute retro 50's diner with chrome EVERYTHING. We sat in a booth at the far end away from the register. "You never did answer my question about what you were studying." I asked while pulling out all of the sugar packets from their container.

"Proctology." He answered dryly.

I stopped what I was doing, waging for a quick moment whether or not he was serious and decided that he wasn't. "No, that's what _I _was studying at that school. Seriously though, why won't you tell me?"

He sighed and slid down a little in the booth. "It's nothing special, just general medicine. It's pretty boring."

Our waitress, god bless her, was about to die of old age and her name was Flo to boot. I wasn't surprised when I had to repeat my order three times. Apparently Roxas must have been a regular here because she just said 'the usual', he nodded and she was gone.

"Why are you studying general medicine if it's so boring?" I tried to get back on the subject since it seemed like he would talk.

"It's family tradition, I guess." He flicked over the wonderful sugar packet sculpture I'd been creating. "My mother is a shrink and my dad works on hearts."

"So?" I asked.

"So, what?" He replied, flicking his eyes up from the pile of destruction that he was causing.

"So, does that mean that you couldn't have been a fireman or something? Just because you're family are all doctors, couldn't you have been a ballet dancer?"

He actually looked a bit affronted at the notion. "Seriously Axel, a ballet dancer? What the hell?" Taking a break from knocking down my progress, he settled on watching me build it back up again. "My parents would have been disappointed if I hadn't gone into medicine."

I was paying attention to him, but not looking at him, instead I scrutinized my engineering. "I don't think people can disappoint their parents as long as they're happy with what they're doing."

He knocked my building down again. "Who are you? Do you believe that unicorns live on clouds and poop marshmallows too? Not everyone's parents are all Seventh Heaven."

"Oh shut up, you appear to be spoiled rotten and I doubt your parents beat you or sell your toys for drugs." I picked up the packets and shoved them back into the holder.

He shot me a questioning glance across the table. "Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

I breathed in and realized that it had been a pretty good day up until this point. Things needed to lighten up a bit, "If I say yes will you throw me down on the table angrily and insist on retaliating with a good blow job?" I waggled my eyebrows at him.

He smiled and some of the tension rolled off his shoulders. "I'll put it to you this way, some kids got allowance when they did their chores or got good grades, my reward was that my dad paid attention to me. If I wasn't doing something amazing, I was just like everyone else and pushed into the fray. If your parents are happy with you because you're happy, then you're really lucky."

I thought about what he'd said and realized that yeah, I guess I was pretty lucky to have the parents that I did. I'm sure I haven't done anything special to make them proud, but hey, I haven't gone to jail and I show up for every holiday, even on days that my mom happens to cook too much lasagna.

Flo returned with my burger and a slice of pie for Roxas. "Thank you!" I smiled at her and shot her a wink.

If looks could kill. "He's a good kid," she gestured towards Roxas, "you'd better not screw him up."

"No Mam, I just want to screw him." I beamed at her and Roxas covered his face with his hands.

"What? You have to speak up!" She leaned in closer to our table.

"I said no, Mam." I said louder but kept the same smile.

"That's right." She stood up and crossed her arms looking down her nose at me. "I know you're type, bad boy. You are a bad influence on a ray of sun shine like this one here." Sweet Jebus this was amusing. "Don't corrupt him."

"No, Mam!" I agreed and she walked away, but not before shooting me one last warning glance.

Roxas was just looking at me like 'really, did you not notice that she was a sweet old lady?' "What?" I asked. "Don't look at me like you're innocent. I AM going to corrupt you- more."

"I won't argue with you there." He licked the whipped cream from his fork in a way that made me jealous of the fork. A FORK FOR CHRIST SAKE! I shook my head and went on with eating my burger. "What?" he asked.

"I didn't say anything."

"No, but you were thinking it."

"Jebus Roxy, you can't yell at me for things I'm thinking."

"Fine." He muttered and started doing unimaginable things with some whipped cream and his fingers.

"Flo is going to find out that you're not really her 'innocent ray of sun shine' if you keep that up." I pointed at him with a fry. Some suggestive moans accompanied the tongue in cheek whipped cream show that he'd been putting on. Fuck, I really just got a hard on from watching someone eat pie? "Ugh, I was wondering how you got so good at what you do."

His movements stopped and his face was blank. "I could ask you the same thing."

What was this? Roxas thought I was good? Well admittedly I didn't think I was bad, but having someone like Roxas tell you that you're good in that department, that's quite a compliment. "Practice makes perfect, Roxy." There it was on the table, I was a man whore.

He looked contemplative as he pushed some crust around on his plate. "I thought that I was the only guy you'd slept with?"

"You are. What's your point?"

"Nothing", he smiled down at his plate. "I read a lot."

"Good for you." I answered, finishing off my burger. "I spent my high school career mastering the art of snapping pennies." I was really good at it too. Dem and I spent hours some nights flicking pennies across the living room trying to hit empty beer bottles that we'd lined up.

"No, you asshat, I meant that's where I got 'so good' as you stated. I read a lot. It gets lonely being the way I am and pretending to be straight, so a good dirty novel comes in handy."

_Ha ha, comes in handy._

Flo came back and handed me the bill, she didn't put it on the table between us, she handed it directly to me. I guess I was paying for Roxas' pie.

* * *

The rest of the weekend with Roxas passed too quickly and I soon found myself back home amidst wedding plans. Zexion was at our place more than I was it seemed, but it wasn't as though I minded. Having him around, I felt, took Demyx's focus off of how much I wasn't.

"Isn't the bride supposed to be doing most of this planning?" I asked wading through a sea of Jordan almonds and tulle.

"Not when there're two brides." Demyx grinned up at me and received a punch to the arm from Zexion for the comment. "You know Axel, the maid of honor is actually supposed to put together the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. My sister was just in a wedding and she nearly went crazy from it."

That shocked me still, "You don't think Larxene is expecting me to do all that, do you?"

"Probably, but she knows you, so she knows it will be half-assed." Demyx grinned and tied a ribbon around a neat little baggy of candy.

I walked into the kitchen, it was all giving me a queasy feeling in my stomach. "Where has he been going off to?" I heard Zexion ask. I made some noise to make it sound like I was doing something other than listening in on their conversation.

"Axel's smitten with someone." I could almost hear the grin in Demyx's words. "He sneaks off for long weekends and doesn't tell me where he's going. When he comes back he's smiling like he's just won the lotto or something."

OK, this was getting weird, I decided it was best if I made a pass through the living room to shut them up. They wouldn't talk about me in front of me after all. "Who's your mystery date, Axel?" Zexion asked, looking directly up at me. Shit.

"Dem's been smoking too much lately." I waved the question off and got another couple of feet before they fired the next question.

"I have not." Demyx sang in a sing-song voice. "Someone's hiding something. At least tell us where she lives."

"No."

"Oh, so there is someone!" Zexion cheered. "Why haven't you brought her here yet?"

Yeah right, like I was going to bring Roxas to my apartment. That would be like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters. Remember, that my friends, was a BAD idea. I couldn't have Roxas in my real life. I had Rikku in my real life and Roxas in my fun life. There was no Axel fucking guys in his real life.

"Dude, they're in school and forty-five minutes away." AH! Where were my keys? I shuffled through everything on the computer desk looking for my car keys in hopes of escape.

"Holy shit, I hope she's not in high school!" Demyx stopped what he was doing and stared at me, "Is that why you won't tell us about her, because she's a minor?"

"Would you drop it?!" I asked exasperated. "They are not a minor and they go to college, ok?" I gave up all hopes of finding my keys, they were probably IN the couch that Demyx was sitting on anyway, and made my escape back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later I heard someone follow me into the kitchen, I turned to find Zexion approaching me. "I think he pushes you because he knows that you're leaving him out of something. He's probably just hurt." He was standing uncomfortably close to me and studying my face intently.

"What?" I asked shrinking down a bit from his gaze and thinking that I had a booger dangler or something.

His eyes raked over my face trying to decipher something, "You were playing the pro-noun game." He stated.

"Not to sound redundant, but _what_?" I asked moving to the side a bit.

"The pro-noun game, you never once referred to this person that you're seeing as him or her, which leads me to think that you're seeing a guy." He closed the gap between us that I'd just worked to create and I was uncomfortable all over again. "Why are you hiding something like that?"

"I'm not hiding anything." I pushed past him and went to the fridge. At least if I opened that I could hide my head in it. Shit. Was I that obvious?

Zexion was soon leaning next to me into the fridge. "If you're not hiding anything then why are you hiding your head in the fridge instead of talking face to face with me? And why haven't you introduced this mystery 'person' to any one, least of all Dem?"

I felt trapped and fucked. I stood up as he did and looked him in the eye, still standing in the front of the fridge with the door open. "What's going on guys?" Demyx asked from the doorway. We must have looked pretty strange having a staring contest in the fridge and all.

I didn't take my eyes off of Zexion and waited to see what his explanation was going to be. "Nothing." He said and grabbed a soda from the shelf, "Just getting a drink, want one?" He smiled and held up the can in offering.

* * *

The wedding was coming up quickly, as Zexion's time in our country was running out. To my ultimate dismay, I was saddled with planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party like Demyx said, though to be fair, some of Larxene's 'girlfriends' offered to help out. I was currently at my desk looking through a bridal magazine in hopes of a good article about what the hell I was supposed to be doing.

"Are you reading a bridal magazine?" Rikku asked as she leaned on my back to look over my shoulder. My patience for her was growing thinner by the day and it seemed the little things, things that I normally wouldn't have given a second thought to, were pissing me off beyond belief. "Who's getting married? Ooo, that one's nice." She pressed her finger to a dress, preventing me from turning the page. Damn it, she was fucking up my leafing!

"My friend Lark is getting married and I'm her maid of honor." I said dryly, trying with to convey just how 'happy' I was about the whole thing through my tone.

"That's amazing!" Riku said, nuzzling into the side of my face in what could be a half-hug. "I get to be the date of the maid of honor? That sounds so weird!"

Fuck, I hadn't been planning to bring her, but now she's gone and invited herself. I wanted to have fun, get smashed and sing karaoke with Larxene and Demyx. "It's not that big of a deal and you probably don't even want to go. The wedding is next month and really small."

"Are you kidding me? And miss a chance to see you in a tux? Not a chance. Is it a day or night wedding? Should I wear my hair up or down? What do you think about heels? OMG! We'll have professional pictures of us toge-"

"Rikku!" I cut her off and closed the magazine. She looked a little freaked out that I'd shouted. "You look beautiful not matter what you wear." I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Chew it back, Axel, chew it back.

Her face light up and she wrapped herself around me. "You are so sweet!"

* * *

The weeks were flying by, no doubt because I had people planning out every moment of my days. It wasn't all bad, I got to hang out with Demyx and Larxene a lot more and Rikku took the hint that I was busy with wedding plans and left me alone for the most part.

You're probably wondering why I was even bothering with her at all if I was growing irritated with her. She is smoking hot and better than masturbating.

Every weekend I found myself driving out to Roxas' school to pick him up. Some times we'd go to the movies, other times we'd sit at the diner for hours and I'd harass Flo.

I was just driving Roxas back up to campus after a rather satisfying romp in my back seat, where he pretended that we were screwing in the back seat of a car on Titanic. There was a lovely hand print on the back window that made me grin every time I checked my rearview mirror.

"Why do you drink this water?" He said, drinking from MY bottle of water, "That Fiji water is pretty damn good."

"Water is water. Don't be a snob."

He rolled his eyes and continued to drink it. Just to be an ass I slammed on the breaks and caused him to splutter and dump some of it on him. "What the hell?"

"I thought I saw a turtle."

"A turtle?" He wasn't buying it.

"Yeah, but it was just a rock."

Roxas went back to drinking my water, I BET he was thirsty after what we'd just done. Again I slammed on the breaks and again he spluttered and dumped some of it on himself. Before I could even offer an excuse he dowsed me with the remainder of the water and threw the empty bottle at my head.

I sat wide eyed and soaking for a bit before I broke out in uncontrollable laughter. No one had ever retaliated from that before. "What is your damage?" He growled at me.

I kept laughing but tried to contain myself long enough to speak. "You're absolutely amazing, Roxy."

"You are so retarded." He smiled and turned to look out his window.

* * *

I was alone, doing something when the thought came to me- OK fine, so I was taking a crap. It's usually when my most brilliant ideas come to me because it's one of the only times that I have to myself without the bother of distraction. Either way, I found myself with a goofy smile on my face and a tightness in my chest while thinking about Roxas.

Fuck.

I found myself thinking that maybe this had moved past a crush.

* * *

A/N: I've purposely cut out sex scenes from this fic because a) I'm crap at writing them and b) I'm writing this at work and that would be a fun thing to explain to my boss. Yeah, my job is pretty much the same as Axel's and this is just a way to kill some boredom for me.


	6. Part 6

I don't own KH.

A/N: I know this chapter is RIDONKULOUSLY long but I didn't feel that there was a place where I could have cut it because A LOT happens.

* * *

Life Out of Costume

Part 6

* * *

You know how some things you should have just KNOWN were a bad idea from the get-go? Yes? Well, I think this would fall into that category, though I didn't see it. I was currently in the middle of a bar with twelve multi-colored table cloths in my arms and a pile of decorations on my back. I was supposed to make THIS place look presentable for a bridal shower? WTF? This wasn't some design show on cable, this was a friggin nightmare.

Despite what the general public may think, just because I get some jollies with another guy, that does not make me an expert on fashion or decorating. Before you go off and start thinking that I was over reacting, squealing, and running around with limp wrist movements I'll tell you this: Larxene's friend that was supposed to have this under control backed out. Yeah, she wasn't coming. She tried to sell me some lame excuse about her throwing up violently all over her apartment.

Immediately I called Demyx for help, because well, misery loves company. Unfortunately he couldn't make it to the shower for another hour, which was only a half an hour before it started. This left me with two options- would have been three, but I was NOT calling Larxene and telling her that things were fucked up- so it was either call Rikku or call Kairi and Namine. Real hard choice, huh?

_Axel txt: I will love you for a bazillion and four days if you can come bail me out of a bridal shower._

_Kairi txt: What? You'd better love me anyway- what do you need?_

_Namine txt: Do you want me to kidnap you or something? Help you fake your own death?_

I briefly considered Namine's ideas, but settled on sticking it out.

_Axel txt: Will you come to the bar on 3__rd__ Street and help me set up for a bridal shower?_

_Kairi txt: You'd better feed me, I'll be there in 20 minutes._

_Namine txt: Give me 15 minutes or so._

The time that it took the girls to make it to the shower seemed like an eternity. Meanwhile, I'd helped myself to a few beers, on Larxene's mother's tab thankyouverymuch. Guinness is GREAT for brunch. However, when they did show up, time flew and before I knew it the room had been transformed. Granted, I had next to nothing to do with it, and just did as I was told.

"I'm glad that you called us to help out", Kairi was putting the baggies of candies, that Demyx and Zexion had put together, on the tables "it's nice to see you outside of cons. You should call more often."

"He would but he's been busy with Roxas." Namine teased.

"Really?" Kairi stopped what she was doing and turned to stare at me hopefully.

"And just how would you know that, Nam? Are you spying on me?" By now I'd switched over to coffee, I planned to make it through this ordeal.

Namine smiled and continued to fold some napkins, "I haven't seen him this happy and calm in a long time. Every time Roxas calls me he's in a good mood and your name is always brought up."

What the hell was happening to me, I felt my chest constrict and I knew my face was heating up. I tried my best to hide behind my coffee mug but it was probably glaringly obvious. God damn it, a sloppy grin was making it hard to drink my coffee, even if I was just pretending to drink it in the first place.

"AWWWW!!" Kairi gushed. "You two are so hot together that it's not even funny!" It looked like she was pretty much done with what she was doing when she started laughing.

"What?" Namine asked for the both of us.

"Axel, you no doubt would look hot in a tux, but can you picture Roxas in a wedding gown?!" And she was laughing all over again.

With that mental image in my head I couldn't help but let a chuckle or two escape at poor Roxas' expense. "I don't think I could get Roxy in a dress at all, let alone a wedding gown."

"AH! So her name is Roxy!" _Shit. _Demyx walked over to me and patted me on the back, I'd forgotten that I'd called him for help. "Are you lovely ladies friends with the infamous Roxy?"

"Oh, why _yes,_ we are." Kairi looked damn near evil with the maniacal grin splitting her face and her eyes shifting over to me. "I'm Kairi and this is Namine."

"Well clearly Roxy must be the ugly friend then, because I've never seen a group of three cute girls." Demyx leaned on my shoulder until I shrugged him off. "I'm Demyx- no doubt you haven't heard of me because it seems like Axel has been keeping things to himself these days."

"Shut up, Dem." I grumbled into my coffee, he wasn't going to let this go for a while.

Kairi waved me off and came up next to Demyx, while Namine stayed strangely quiet. "So you've heard about Roxy, but never any mention of us?" She indicated between herself and Namine.

"Not a word." Dem shook his head. "Then again, I haven't heard about Roxy either. He goes away and comes back with some silly love-struck look on his face. I swear, if we were in high school he'd be doodling her name and putting hearts around it all over his books or something." Demyx and Kairi both had shit eating grins on their face as they continued their conversation. "Getting information about this girl is like pulling teeth it seems." Namine coughed but said nothing.

I got up and walked away. My two worlds were too close for comfort right now. I wandered into the bar area, we'd been in the back room that was used as a dining room. There I put my head on my folded arms and hoped that the bar would just eat me alive.

Not too long later, but long enough for my initial panic attack to subside a bit, Namine stepped up to my side. "What're you doing, Axel?" She asked and took the seat next to me.

"Thinking." I replied, not bothering to take my head out of my arms.

Namine pulled a straw from the container and started to play with it in her fingers. "Demyx is your roommate and you didn't tell him about Roxas? He actually thinks that Roxas is a girl."

I sighed and picked my head up to look her in the eyes, trying to seem determined. "So?" What was the big deal? Look at Roxas, he was hiding me from his 'other' life. Ok, so that wasn't entirely true, he was only hiding the fact that we were more than friends. Wait, were we more than just friends that happened to have sex?

She sighed and twisted the straw around itself. "I don't know how you guys do it."

"Heeeeey!" Could this get worse?! I turned around to see Rikku bounding up to me. "I came early to see if you needed help with anything." In a moment she was latched onto me and smothering the side of my face with a kiss.

I pushed her off me without even the hint of care. "What the hell?"

Rikku must have noticed Namine finally, "Who are you? Are you one of Lark's friends or something?"

Before Namine could answer I stood up between the two of them, "Rikku this is Namine, she helped me set up the shower, and Namine this is Rikku-"

"-his girlfriend." Rikku added in a sharp tone.

"Don't be nasty to her." I cut in.

To make this little meet and greet even better Demyx and Kairi chose this time to walk into the bar area just as Zexion was walking through the front door. No lie, I pinched myself to make sure that this wasn't all just some bad nightmare. "OW! Damn it!"

"Lark is on her way in, is everything all set?" Zexion asked, curiously eyeing the inhabitants of the bar while making his way over to me.

"_That's Rikku or Boobs." _I heard Demyx whispering to Kairi behind me.

"_Oh, that's the 'other woman'."_ Kairi whispered back and I quickly grabbed Zexion and dragged him into the other room.

"What's going on?" Zexion asked searching my face for any sort of explanation.

"Nothing, just too much estrogen." I commented. "Are you going to stick around for the shower?"

"Nah, I was just driving Lark over and picking up Dem. I'll be back later to help you guys clean up." He surveyed the room. "Nice job."

"Thanks, it was Kairi and Namine." I realized that he had no idea who I was talking about and motioned towards the bar room. "Two of the girls out front with Dem."

Alright, let's take a moment to do an assessment of my situation right now. Currently my worlds were colliding, one in the form of Kairi and Namine while other was Demyx, Zexion and Rikku- and would you look at where I was? I was cowering in the back room hoping that it would all just blow over. Not a chance in hell. I know what you're thinking, so don't even say it, 'you made your bed, Axel, now lay in it'.

_Axel txt: Can I come by and pick you up later? I feel the need to schmooze Flo._

_Roxas txt: Sure, txt me when you're close._

The shower ran relatively smoothly and I wasn't required to do much more. Kairi and Namine stuck around, thanks to Demyx's insistence, since they were responsible for most of it. They sat with Demyx and I'm sure got more information and embarrassing stories out of him. Larxene seemed to be enjoying herself but something also seemed a little off with her.

"Axel, you did a wonderful job with the shower." Larxene's mother gushed on me. FYI: the woman invented the term wine-o. "Larxene is so lucky to have you as a friend. You know, I always thought that you were the one that she was going to end up marrying."

"Thanks Mrs.-" Fuck, I forgot what her current last name was. "Mrs. Lark's Mom." She just smiled at me as though nothing was amiss.

"Mom, really." Larxene found her way over to us, most of the guests had already filtered out. "Axel and I married would be like incest." She smiled up at me and found her smile easily mirrored on my own face.

"Well either way, I'm hope you find a nice girl, Lark will help you to weed out the bad ones." Larxene's mother winked at me and wandered off, no doubt to find some more wine.

I looked over to see that Demyx was helping Kairi and Namine pick up the place. "Speaking of weeding out the bad ones," Larxene started, "are you seeing one of those girls that are helping Dem?"

"No, they're just friends."

"That's too bad, I kind of like them and they're cute. MUCH better than fuck me senseless Barbie over there." Larxene gestured towards Rikku who was standing around looking at the ceiling most likely waiting for me. "What ever happened to 'I met someone'?" She asked hopefully.

I felt my posture sag and a sad smile wash over my face. "Lark, I think I'm fucked."

Her eyes grew impossibly huge and I swear every tooth in her mouth became visible with the smile that was growing on her face. "Are you serious?" She poked me playfully. "_You_ are seeing some one for something more than just sex?!"

I nodded, but I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. By not telling her the whole truth I felt like I was lying to her, even though I _technically_ wasn't. "I was actually heading out to see them after the shower."

"Well GO! You've done more than enough here, Axel." She shoved me towards the door, which unfortunately also meant towards Rikku.

"Axel, are you done?" Rikku asked cheerfully before latching onto my arm.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I've just got to say 'bye' to Dem, Kairi and Nam."

"I'll wait here. You can bring me home, right?" She asked with a wink and a suggestive smile that promised more than just a car ride. I just nodded and walked off.

The three of them seemed to be getting along great when I approached their group. "You should definitely come and check out one of our shows, I'll put you on the VIP list so you don't have to pay the cover charge. Just tell Axel when you're going to come."

"Really?!" Kairi answered, "I want to go tonight. I've got a fake ID."

"Great!" Demyx looked at me, "Though I'm not sure if Axel will be there or not."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and looked between them.

Demyx just rolled his eyes and rested his elbow on Kairi's shoulder, "It's Saturday night, I bet you our dear Axely-poo-poo is running off to see the fair Roxy."

"Oh Jebus." I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for all of your help today guys. I really do owe you one."

"It was no problem." Namine smiled back at me, "Really, I had fun."

"Good, you can repay me by taking me to one of Demyx's shows- maybe Roxy can come too." Kairi directed the second part towards Demyx. I just closed my eyes in resign and heard Rikku calling me from the door.

"I'll catch up with you later Dem." I gathered up Rikku and gave Larxene one last hug goodbye before I was out the door. "How did you get to the shower if I'm driving you home?" I asked.

Rikku climbed into the passenger seat, "My friend Yuna drove me over, Paine refused." Yuna? Why did that name sound familiar to me? "What do you want to do tonight?"

"I've got plans." I stared at the road ahead.

"Axel, you NEVER spend any time with me!" She whined and crossed her arms. "I'm starting to think that you're seeing someone else."

"Rikku, I AM seeing someone else."

She went slack-jawed and turned to me, "What?" she whispered.

"What?" I asked. "It's not like you and I agreed to only see each other."

"But I- and you- and work- and- and…" She was shaking her head and looking into her lap. "Do they know about me?"

"Of course they do."

She sat there in what I could only assume was thought, but I was having my doubts that it was possible. I did feel kind of bad, though I probably shouldn't have. "If I asked you to," she spoke softly and continued to look at her hands, "would you stop seeing them?"

"No." I don't think my answer could have been more simple, hell I didn't even have to think about it. I looked back to check traffic in my rearview mirror and noticed the faint outline of Roxas' hand print.

Fuck, she was crying. "She means more to you then I do then, doesn't she?"

"Rikku, I-"

"No, don't, I don't even want to hear it." She sniffled and rolled her window down a bit. "I thought you'd been too busy with the wedding coming up to spend time with me, but now I wonder how much time you've been spending with her."

"I _have_ been busy with the wedding-"

She continued on as though I hadn't even spoken, "And you've been acting strange, like you get frustrated with me more than you used to." Damn it, it's not like I'd been dating her for years like she was trying to make this sound like. "But you were still so happy so I just figured…" she trailed off into some silent sobs.

I pulled over so I could face her, I wasn't completely heartless and this was more of a reaction than what I'd anticipated. "It's not like I was cheating on you or anything."

"Yes you were!" She cried back.

"No, fuck!" I threaded my hands in my hair to break some of my frustration in the moment. "You never said you wanted that kind of relationship with me and I know I certainly never suggested one to you."

"But Axel, we… I don't even know what to say."

"Look, maybe we shouldn't see one another for a while." I suggested, leaning on the steering wheel and staring out the windshield.

She laughed a little to herself, "You mean we shouldn't see each other again, ever."

"Rikku, I wasn't trying to hurt you." I looked over at her, "That was never my goal. I'm sorry."

"Yeah well you did." She wiped her eyes and tried to smile. "It's ok, I was just being stupid again."

"I don't think you're stupid, Rikku." I put my hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off. I sighed, "Come on, I'll take you home."

* * *

It started raining shortly after I got to Roxas' school and Flo seemed to be more irritable than normal. Something about the rain making her arthritis act up or other.

"You've been kind of quiet." Roxas said, studying me from across the table. "You drove all of the way out here to sit in silence with me at a diner?"

"I'm sorry, it's just been a shit day." As usual, I pulled the sugar packets out and started a project. "You seem to be the only one that will just let me be and not keep picking and picking away at me."

"I know the feeling." He smiled and looked out the window that was quickly becoming covered in droplets.

Flo refilled our coffees three more times before I even remembered to speak again. I was just enjoying sitting in an empty diner with Roxas and watching the rain. "I broke up with Rikku." He didn't say anything in response, actually, he didn't even make a motion to acknowledge that he'd heard me at all.

"You'd better put those damn packets back before you leave." Flo growled as she hobbled by. Screw her, I put them back every time, but she still warned me.

Roxas turned away from the window to smile at her, "Don't worry, I'll make sure that he does."

"Kiss ass." I muttered and flicked a packet at him.

He stuck his finger up his nose in turn, "How did the bridal shower go? Did you set the place on fire?"

I laughed, "No, actually Kairi and Nam came over to help out- even ended up staying for the whole thing."

"You must have offered them food, or Kairi at least."

"That girl works for rum and coffee cakes, it's amazing. They met my roommate, Demyx. I think him and Kairi really hit it off." Though I probably should have been happy about this, I'm sure my tone conveyed just how unhappy about it I really was. I conveniently left out that fact that Demyx (and Larxene) believed that Roxas was a girl.

Roxas looked at his watch, "I've got to head back, I have a paper that I'm supposed to be working on."

"Alright." I felt a little put off that he wanted to go, but the kid was in Med school for Christmas sake, I'm sure he was balls into work.

I paid the bill and met Roxas at the door. It was coming down in buckets now and not showing any sign of letting up. Together we raced through the rain out to my car. It was a slow drive up the hill to the campus and it passed entirely in silence until we approached his dorm. "Wait, you can't drive back in this. Go park in the parking lot, I'll wait with you until it stops." He suggested and motioned towards the lot.

I did as instructed and once I pulled the e-brake I found that Roxas had taken off his seat belt and was snuggling his face to mine. "I missed you." I spoke softly to him before taking his ear lobe in my mouth.

"I know." He grinned at me and began to kiss me as he climbed into my lap. The rain outside prevented us from seeing out of the windows, but it also prevented anyone else from looking in- not that anyone would be out in this weather anyway.

I felt the stress and tension that had coiled up in my body slowly dissipating as I ran my hands up under his shirt. Taking my time, I kissed him with slow languid movements but he seemed hell bent on getting down to business. Soon enough we found ourselves awkwardly climbing over the seats to get into the back. "Go forward," I gave him a shove, "your ass is in my face."

"You love it." He grinned back at me, to which I pulled down the back of his pants and licked his cheek in agreement.

When I finally made it into the back seat with him I covered his body with my own. Again he was quick to get things moving and had nearly taken my pants down before I stopped him. Something felt off, though I'd be assed to explain exactly what it was. "What?" Roxas asked looking at me in confusion.

The rain was hammering down on the roof of my car and I was just staring down at Roxas below me. I was here after having just ditched Rikku only hours before, why was I having a problem with this? I almost felt like I was using Roxas and that was what really felt wrong. I'd wanted to take my time to show him that it wasn't just sex between us, unlike it was with her.

I leaned down and kissed him deeply, undoing the front of his pants more in the process, but still holding his hand at bay with my free hand. When I released him from the kiss, which appeared to have slowed him down a bit, I moved down his body, letting go of his hand, and nuzzled my nose near the base of his erection. "A-Axel?" He stuttered and looked down at me.

I had no doubts as to why he was confused, it's not like I'd ever done this to him before. Roxas had never topped and I had never given him head, but he'd never complained about it. This time was different though, I don't know if it was my stubbornness or pride that prevented me from telling him that I felt there was something different, something good, between us, but either way I couldn't voice it. This was my way of trying to convey the statement without having to say it. I licked up his shaft and went for it.

I'll spare you the details, suffice to say that if I was only _half_ as good as I thought I was, that was still better than most. Going down on a guy was easier than and actually more enjoyable than going down on a girl. I KNEW what I was doing, and what guys like, because if you hadn't already noticed I happened to be one.

"That was… Wow…" Roxas said in a bit of daze. I said nothing but kissed him with a smile. "What was that all about- I mean, not that I was complaining." I shrugged, a little disappointed that he'd asked and didn't just KNOW- GOD I was sounding like a chick. FUCK FUCK FUCK!! "It's stopped raining." He commented looking out the window.

* * *

What do you think of when you see people at weddings without dates? I usually think that they're losers who couldn't even bribe one of their friends to go with them. I was that guy- well to be fair, so was Demyx. I secretly think that Zexion wouldn't allow Demyx to show up with a girl on his arm.

Oh, and remember that girl that bent me over with the bridal shower, the one that claimed to be puking all over her entire apartment? Well, as it turns out she contracted some STD and was put on steroids to help her immune system to fight it. The steroids made her face swell up like a balloon and she looked like a bag of smashed assholes. Oh, poetic justice. I nearly pissed myself when I saw her and the looks that Larxene was giving her.

The ceremony was quick and the justice of the peace was a pretty cool older man with a whiskey nose. At the moment I was leaning back in my chair and enjoying the open bar. "Lark, sit down, let me buy you a drink." I motioned to her as she passed by.

She smiled, took a brief look around the room and took the seat beside me. "You're so generous, buying me a drink from an OPEN bar."

"I do what I can." I smiled back at her. "You look absolutely stunning, Lark." She made a face like a horse with her lip curled back and her front teeth sticking out in response. "That only adds to it."

"I'm sure." We were off to the side of the room and even though she was the bride, we weren't really the main focus of attention. Larxene's mother's new husband's son (yeah, you're impressed that I got all that, aren't you?), Wakka was dirty dancing with Larxene's grandmother. "I never really said thank you," she stared out into the crowd of guests, "you know, for taking care of me the other night."

The other night that she was referring to was her bachelorette party. I was, thankfully, relieved of my duties and merely rented her a limo. Her and her girl friends went out on the town, to a few bars, two strip clubs and the night ended with a tearful phone call from Larxene asking me to come over. The gist of the situation was that she was hammered and had been having some regrets about the whole marriage thing for a while and it all came to a head that night.

I bought some ramen, Gatorade, and saltines and headed over to her apartment. Zexion hadn't moved in yet and she was still living alone. I ended up spending the night at her apartment holding her hair back while she puked in the toilet, washing her off when she puked on herself, washing myself off when she puked on me, and just telling her that everything would work out.

"I love you Lark, you know I would do anything for you." I clinked my glass with hers before taking a sip.

"Love you too." She smiled into her glass. It was strange, but Demyx was walking around with Zexion while he met Larxene's family like he was the groom or something. I was entertained. "What's going on with you and Dem?" Larxene asked obviously watching our two friends as well. "It's almost like he's avoiding you."

I sighed and sat back, "He's pissed at me because he thinks I'm keeping things from him."

"And are you?" She already knew the answer. "Why won't you just let us meet this girl? Are you afraid we're going to jinx the whole thing or something?"

"There's a little more to it than that." I muttered and finished off my drink, thankfully I had the foresight to get two when I was in line before. "Lark," I looked at her directly, "I…", she gave me an encouraging look, "the person I've been seeing is a guy."

"What?" She looked at me like I was fucking around with her, "You're seeing a guy named Roxy?"

"No, I'm seeing a guy named Roxas, who I call Roxy to irritate him."

She stared at me for a hot second and tried to decipher whether or not I was bullshitting her. "You're for real aren't you?" I nodded. "You've got to be shitting me- you, Axel, my best friend who has had more girls than I've had meals, is batting for the other team?" I rolled my eyes at this and took a gulp of my drink. "Looks like Zexion picked the wrong roommate to fall for then, doesn't it?"

I had to laugh, "Guess so."

"So this is why you haven't told Dem? Why?" Now, I could understand her confusion, after all we were all chummy with Zexion and he was even hitting on Demyx nonstop.

"I don't know Lark, I didn't expect this thing to become what it has. I honestly didn't see it coming. It was just like all of the sudden **BAM**, there and in my face." My eyes sought out Demyx in the crowd again, his eyes met mine briefly before he turned away quickly. "I'm not exactly sure how comfortable I am with being the way I am right now, let alone anyone else knowing. I mean shit, look how long it took me to tell _you_!"

"You should tell him." She looked at me seriously, "Axel, he might help, you never know."

"I don't know Lark, but we should probably go and save your grandma from Rico Suave over there." Wakka looked to be dry humping the old woman by now and she was absolutely clueless.

* * *

It had been a few days since the wedding and Demyx and I were in an old married couple routine. Read that as an old married couple that hated each other but knew they were stuck with each other in their wrinkly skin bone sacks with cancer spots and liver disease routine. You know, the one's that coexisted with minimal civility. My grandparents on my father's side were like this.

He didn't tell me when his shows were, didn't save me extra from what he'd cooked and wouldn't even pick up my towel in the bathroom if it fell. Each day that this went on I felt more and more guilt building up inside me, which I guess was his purpose in the first place, but today was my breaking point. Demyx had left me a post-it note on the kitchen table saying that rent was due. This might seem harmless, but not if you knew Demyx. He was sitting in the other room, could have TOLD me that rent was due, but instead, scratched the note in front of me, left it on the table and walked off into his room.

"RENT'S ON THE TABLE!" I yelled at his door and stomped off towards the living room. From there I proceeded to mess up all of the mini-blinds. I pulled one side up, flipped random slats and even stuck a pot of ivy into one of them. Before you go off thinking that I'd lost my mind, let me explain. Demyx is a bit OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). He has to have the carpets vacuumed a certain way, washes himself in the shower in a certain order, where if it gets screwed up, he has to start all over again. Another one of these triggers is the mini-blinds. Even if ONE blind is out of place he will have a fit- now imagine his reaction to seeing what I'd just done.

I walked out the front door making sure to slam it as hard as I could behind me.

* * *

"I was thinking about bringing another costume to the convention this weekend, but I wanted to ask you about it." Roxas sounded excited, but I was having a hard time caring. I was still reeling from my incident with Demyx and needed an outlet for my frustration. Unfortunately, Roxas had chosen this particular time to call me.

"Do what you've got to do." I answered rather flippantly. I was on a mission to get some greasy-ass Chinese food at the moment.

"Are you all right?" His voice was worried.

"Yeah, fine- look did you NEED something?"

There was a pause in his answer, "Did I do something?" The question was almost hesitant.

"Look, I don't have time for this right now. I'll call you later." I huffed into the phone before snapping it closed. Immediately after I pocketed my phone I heard it going off. The caller-id said Roxas and I pushed it into voicemail. I don't know why I was starting shit with Roxas, I just felt like it. I was pissed and I guess taking it out on him- I almost in a way just wanted to have it out with someone, and since Demyx wasn't speaking to me Roxas got the brunt of my anger.

I stalked up to the counter of the restaurant and may have nearly scared the shit out of the little woman behind the counter. "I help you?"

"Can I get an order of pork fried dumplings and a pint of lo-mien?" My phone was vibrating in my pocket again.

_Roxas txt: Stop being a dick and answer your phone._

The woman rang me up and I moodily sat down to wait for my order.

_Roxas txt: If you've got a problem with me then tell me- otherwise I'm going to assume that you're ragging it, you little bitch._

The anger melted away from me after reading that last line, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of replying.

* * *

The convention was just what I needed. I viewed them as a break from reality, but not quite a vacation. My mind began to wander and I imagined being on vacation and burying Roxas up to his neck in sand, then leaving a sandwich just out of his reach. Maybe a crab would happen by. Hahaha, he'd get crabs. "Axel!" Kairi yelled and broke my train of thought.

"What?" I asked, wondering if I'd been voicing my thoughts out loud- again.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "She's been calling your name for a while now and you've just been staring off into space."

With my daydream still on my mind, I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my mouth when I looked at Roxas. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to the dealer's room with me while Roxas and Namine went to change. We could go get some more poooooorrrrrnnnnn!" She said porn in a sing-song voice like the word NEEDED to be more appealing, please.

"I like porn." I answered- wait a minute. "Why are you going to change with Namine?" I spun around to Roxas.

"We brought other costumes to wear and the group photo shoot for them is in an hour." Roxas explained while txting someone. "Remember I tried to talk to you about it but you were being a bitch?"

"Fuck off." I said in good humor and he smiled up at me. See, that was the thing about Roxas, he got it. Not like he was cool with things _after_ I explained them, I mean he got it as in I didn't _have_ to explain things.

Our little group broke off, Kairi and I headed off to the dealer's room while Roxas and Namine went off to do their stuff. "How's Demyx doing?" Kairi asked walking beside me.

"I don't know; he's not talking to me."

"I'm sorry, does it have anything to do with Nam and I?" She asked timidly. "Anything we said?"

I shook my head and smiled over at her, "Nah, it's just something that we need to work out. He's too sensitive for his own good and I guess I'm too _in_sensitive for mine."

The dealer's room was packed and there was retarded sugar pop music playing very loudly from one of the booths. We wove our way up and down the aisles, stopping every now and again so that Kairi could look at some figurines or people would stop us and ask for a picture. Eventually we made it to the crack dealer – aka porn dealer. I swear we spent a good hour leafing through various doujinshis that they had. I found a rather disturbing one of No.8 and No.13 and couldn't resist. No.13 was in some rather sticky predicaments and I felt this would be a perfect gift for sweet little Roxy.

When I finished paying for my purchase a cold wave of fear washed over me. I'd just bought him a present. It wasn't his birthday, it wasn't any holiday and I bought him a present.

"I should let you borrow Kingdom Hearts I and II so you can finally play the game and not be some n00b walking around in a leather trench coat." Kairi commented as we walked by a used game booth.

I tried by best to look appalled, but was still irked by my earlier actions. "B-but Kairi, there IS no spoon!"

"Damn, I think these people are starting to get to you, nerd." She grabbed my arm and ushered me towards the door. "Let's head back to the lobby, everyone should be there for the gathering by now. Besides, I just spent my entire week's paycheck."

"What do you do with all that crap?" I asked, looking at the small bags she had. Seriously, if I could fit stuff that I'd bought with my entire week's pay check into those small bags I'd be pissed.

"Look at it?" She sounded unsure but then giggled afterwards. "I don't know, I just like it."

Grateful to be out of the sugar pop congested hell that we had been in inside the dealer's room, I didn't even notice Tidus walking straight towards me until he was nearly in my face. "Whoa! Tidus, 'sup man?"

"Hey! Long time no see. I wasn't sure whether you'd be coming to the con or not, I don't ever see you online." He grinned and appeared to be alone. Perhaps Reno, my number one fan, decided to leave him alone when he saw who he was going to talk to.

"We were just heading up to see ROXAS, so we've got to go. See ya!" Kairi waved right in Tidus' face and walked briskly away.

Tidus just rolled his eyes, "I have no idea why that girl hates me." We watched her weave through the crowd until she stopped and gave me a questioning look for not following her.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Do you really care?" The question was skeptically sarcastic and he laughed a 'no'. "Come on, let's go oogle the nerds." Kairi did NOT look pleased that Tidus had joined us, but kept any comments that she had about the new addition to herself.

Off to the far side of the hotel lobby was a mass of color converged into one lump, that must have been the group photo-shoot that they were talking about. As we approached the area, I made sure not to stand too close to Tidus. I wasn't going to ignore the kid, but I didn't want to send Roxas COMPLETELY over the edge either- and if what Sora had said was true, that's exactly what would happen.

When we got close enough to see who was in the group, my eyes immediately found Roxas and Namine- holding each other. My stomach twisted in a weird way and I felt _very_ pissy. "OMIGOSH! They're so cute together!" Kairi squealed from next to me. Namine planted a kiss on Roxas' cheek for a picture and again Kairi squealed. "I have to get a pic of this!"

I was seeing red and I didn't even know why! "Wanna go get something to eat?" Tidus asked looking just as happy as I felt.

"Yeah, I'm starved." I agreed and we headed out of the hotel.

Lunch with Tidus wasn't anything special. We found ourselves in a sub shop nearly a block away.

_Roxas txt: Where are you?_

"Looks like they noticed that you were gone." Tidus smirked at me and I just 'humph-ed' a grin.

_Axel txt: Getting something to eat._

"What's the deal with you guys anyway? Why is there so much animosity?" I asked putting my phone back on the table.

Tidus shrugged, "I don't know what the actual problem is. Roxas and I went to high school together but we got along there. I mean for the most part, it's not like we ever hung out, I think Selphie was our only mutual friend. I kind of think it's because I hang out with Reno and dress up as the same character as Roxas."

"Really? I don't get that shit." I continued to eat my sandwich and noticed my phone vibrating. Roxas was calling, I pushed it into voicemail.

"Me neither", he managed around a bite of food. "I mean I get why Roxas doesn't like Reno, but me? Whatever."

_Kairi txt: Roxas knows that you're with Tidus. He saw you 2 leave together._

_Axel txt: So?_

"Is that Roxas?" Tidus asked trying to look at my phone, but I snapped it shut quickly when I finished writing back to Kairi.

"No, it's Kairi."

"Oh." He said, settling back down into his seat. He'd finished his food by now. "Are Roxas and Namine together?" The way he asked was almost shy and fearful. He didn't meet my eyes and just looked at his drink.

"No, they're just friends." At least I hoped, Namine had said that she liked Tidus, didn't she?

Tidus' phone went off and he ignored it, but soon enough it was going off again. He ripped it out of his pocket, "What?!" I couldn't hear the conversation on the other line but he didn't seem happy with the person. "Fine, I'll be there in a minute." He hung up the phone and slid it back into his pocket. "Sorry."

"Looks like I'm not the only being summoned." I laughed at him.

"If you want, you know you're welcome to come to our room party tonight. Room 735." We walked out of the shop and back towards the hotel.

"I don't know if I can get away."

He nodded, "I understand. Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not being a jerk to me even though all of your friends hate me." He smiled up at me rather pathetically.

I nudged him with my elbow, "Not all of them hate you. In fact, I do believe that Namine is rather fond of you." He only smiled in response.

I didn't know what to think of Tidus. It's easy enough to play Mr. Innocent or the victim, and he obviously wanted me to believe that he WAS the victim, but I was still wary of his ulterior motives even though every thing he said made sense. We ended up exchanging numbers, I figured that if things went south back in my room then I could at least have people to hang out with tonight.

When I walked into our room, Kairi and Sora were sitting one of the beds and just staring at me. "Where's Roxas?" I asked seeing the costume that he'd been wearing hanging up in the closet.

"In the bathroom." Sora pointed. "Did you really go to eat with Tidus?"

I nodded and put my stuff down before lying on the opposite bed. Kairi was up and over on the bed next to me in a split second. "What're you doing? Are you trying to piss Roxas off?"

"Don't you think you're over reacting?" I muttered.

The bathroom door opened and Roxas came out pulling a shirt on. "So we'll see you guys later? We've got to go meet Riku." Sora said, though if I had money to bet on it, I'd say he was making up an excuse to leave. "Come on, Kairi."

"Txt me." Kairi finished as they were walking out the door, but I couldn't tell if she was talking to Roxas or myself.

Roxas took up the other bed and much the same position I was already sporting. He said nothing and just stared at the ceiling. "Where's Namine?" I asked nonchalantly.

He didn't turn his head, but continued to stare at the ceiling. "She didn't want to be here when you got back but I was supposed to tell you that she had to go meet some friends."

"Why? Is she mad at me too?" I snorted.

"No, she thinks that you're mad at her." I didn't answer him and we just sat in silence for a while. "I was going to ask you what you thought about Namine and I doing a couple cosplay when I called you that time."

"I don't care." _Oh YES I did!_

"Namine thinks that you're going to be mad at her and that this is all her fault." He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up on his hand to face me.

"All of _what_ is her fault?" _No, it's your fault you little shit head. I think I'll keep the sticky porn that I bought for you now, thankyouverymuch._

"You being a jealous little bitch and trying to get back at me by going to get food with Tidus." I could tell that he was smiling while saying that.

Was that it? Was I jealous? "Tidus asked me to get food with him, I was hungry, so I went. That's all there is to that story." My mind replayed Roxas smiling for the picture while Namine kissed him on the cheek. Shit, it was jealousy and now I was pouting about it like a little girl.

Roxas got up off of the bed that he was on and came over to straddle me. He pulled me up into a sitting position by my shirt and looked me in the eyes. "I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry if I made you mad by cosplaying with someone else. I hated seeing you walk away with Tidus."

Goddamnit, he wasn't even going to let me be mad and stew in this, was he? I kissed him because I wasn't willing to tell him that I was sorry too. I really didn't want to admit to him just how much it'd bothered me to see him with someone else. Was this how Sora felt knowing that Riku was seeing someone else? Did I do this to Roxas when I was seeing Rikku?

"I still don't see what the big deal is," I feigned not caring, "but if you want to make it up to me I wouldn't mind." I waggled my eyebrows at him.

He ground himself down onto my lap suggestively, "Actually, I need to get some food, since someone ate without me."

The rest of the con went by without incident. Things were smoothed out with Namine and things with Tidus were left at nods from across the room for the rest of the weekend. It wasn't all vanilla though, oh no. I'd severely underestimated Roxas' kink factor. Late Saturday night I found myself screwing Roxas into a wall in the stairwell near our room because he demanded costume sex. Those coats get damn hot but it was definitely worth it, besides, everything just Windexes off of them!

* * *

I didn't think it would, but Aerith's diabolical plan to keep Cloud to herself seems to have worked, for the meantime anyway. Things appeared to be back to normal with her and Yuffie chit chatting away about how much of a skank they thought Tifa and her big boobs were and how she wasn't right for Cloud anyway. I wonder if Cloud really did see something in Aerith, after all, this has been going on for over three years now. What a dumbass.

"Axel, can I see you in my office, please." No, it wasn't a question, it was a statement. Xemnas waved me in from his desk and I had a hard time remembering the last time this had happened. "Close the door behind you." _Fuck._

I quickly racked my brains to think of what could possibly be going on. Was I getting fired because they realized that I didn't do anything? Did someone piss in the coffee and blame it on me? Don't ever ask me why I go to Starbucks every day, don't. I calmly took a seat opposite his desk. "What's going on?"

"Do you know a Miss Rikku Al Behd?" He asked, reading the name off of a paper on the desk in front of him.

Crap. Ever since the break up Rikku had been doing nothing but giving me dirty looks, blatantly ignoring me and going out of her way to make sure I could hear her telling Aerith and Yuffie how awful of a person I was. Normally I wouldn't give two shits about what these people thought of me, but when I was sitting in the boss' office because of it, it pissed me off. "Yes, I know her. She works in our IT unit."

He pushed a paper across his desk to me. "She's bringing you up on sexual harassment charges."

"WHAT?! You've GOT to be fu-, I mean kidding me."

"It says here that you've touch her inappropriately in the work place." He read from his own copy.

Hell yeah I'd touched her inappropriately in the work place, that's because she had this funny habit of liking to have sex with me here! "Sir, I assure you-"

"Save it." He sighed, sat back and steepled his fingers before him. "Axel, look, I know you're a good kid, but to be fair, I've seen this Rikku."

I cut him off because it sounded like he was insinuating that he could see WHY I'd done it, "I swear-"

"I'm not saying that I think you did it, calm down." He waved his hand as if to blow off my outburst. "Looking at her though, you can see why people would think that you DID do it though, right?" I didn't know if he was aware that his statement could have been perceived as sexual harassment as well. "I'm not completely unaware of the things that go on outside my office." He looked down his nose at me. "I knew that you were seeing Rikku, hell I even know about Aerith's second abortion."

"I'm impressed?" I didn't know what to say but it didn't sound like I was in as much trouble as I would have been if he'd been taking this serious and by the book.

"It sounds to me like you two were seeing each other, you went and found yourself someone 'special'- congratulations on that by the way, good ones are scarce these days- and Rikku didn't take it so well. Now she's trying to get back at you."

"Yeah, that's about it." I nodded and leaned forward in my chair. "She turned into a- well for lack of better word, psycho hose beast."

"They all do." He nodded over to a picture of himself and his blue haired wife, Saïx. "Well," he slapped his hands down on his arm rests, "there's only one way to handle this."

"There is?" I asked anxiously.

"You need to go to sensitivity training." My head dropped into my hands. "At least that's where I'll tell people you are. Take the rest of the week off. This way Rikku gets to think you're being 'punished' and at the same time you get a break from her."

My head came up and I grinned across the desk at him. "Are you serious?"

"Of course!"

"Sir, no offense, but you're pretty damn cool."

"I try. Now go- don't forget to look all pissed off and irritated when you leave!"

Before I left I had to tell Xigbar what was going on. I grabbed him from the mail desk, even though it was an hour before we normally took our break, and we headed over to Starbucks.

"I still can't believe you ditched Boobs. Who DOES that?!" Xigbar had no problem wrapping his mind around the fact that my boss just gave me a week's paid vacation but he couldn't understand the loss of Rikku. "Arrrrr!!" He signaled Sora with their gay finger hook.

"You guys are early today, what's up?" Sora asked before turning to a pimple faced kid behind him. "Grande pike roast and venti chai." He turned back to us and leaned over the counter mouthing 'new kid' with a smile.

"Boobs filed sexual harassment charges against Axel here!" Xigbar laughed and slapped me on the back. "So they gave him a vacation."

"Oh my god, really?" Sora look scandalized and I merely nodded in confirmation. "Can she do that?"

"Of course she can! She's hot and therefore can get away with whatever she wants to." Xigbar grabbed his coffee and signaled to us. "Well, I'll see you in a week, buddy!" He raised his coffee in salute to me. "And I'll see you tomorrow, Sora, because _some_ of us need to get back to work."

"Man, that is still pretty messed up." Sora muttered as he rang me out, unfortunately I hadn't noticed that Xigbar had stuck me with paying for his coffee as well.

"Tell me about it." I muttered.

"I guess it's karma or something- you know, for seeing that girl and Roxas at the same time." I just rolled my eyes at him. "I'm glad that you've finally stopped. It wasn't really fun seeing Roxas with someone else, was it?"

"Shut up, Sora."

"Whatever, he's got you wrapped right around his finger now, and I think you like it. I bet you couldn't even have sex with someone else if you tried." He was sporting a shit eating grin and leaning heavily across the counter. I just sipped on my latte and pretended to ignore him. "Seriously though," he stood up and made sure that I was listening before he continued, "you should tell him."

"Tell him what?" I said moodily, like I was only half participating in this conversation.

"Tell him that you only want to be with him and that you want him to only be with you."

I didn't like all of this scrutiny into my relationship with Roxas, "Is that what you want Riku to say to you?"

"Well, yeah, but I want him to add 'forever and ever' at the end of it too!" His face washed over with a goofy smile and I decided to take my leave.

* * *

The apartment smelt and sounded amazing when I walked through the door. I had taken the long way home because I wasn't exactly anxious to start my vacation aka sitting home for a week with my roommate who was busy ignoring my existence. After taking off my coat and throwing the rest of my shit haphazardly on the couch I ventured down the hall towards the kitchen. Demyx was dancing around with the broom pretending it was his bass and playing along with the music. I watched the scene for a moment because he looked happy and I hadn't seen him smile in a while. I'd been on the receiving end of nothing but scowls and blank faces.

He spun around and noticed me in the doorway. "JESUS CHRIST!" he yelled and grabbed his chest. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry." I said but didn't move.

"It's ok, I just didn't hear you come in." He said and turned the volume down on the radio and went back to taking cookies off the baking sheet and putting them on a plate.

"No, Dem, I'm sorry." He turned to look at me over his shoulder. This shit had gone on long enough and I was missing my best friend. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Roxy and well everything."

That must have gotten his attention because he turned around fully to face me. "I don't understand why you were shutting me out in the first place. I thought maybe she might be ugly or something but Kairi told me that I was wrong."

I came up and took one of the cookies from the plate, and began to munch on it. The whole world could be on fire but if you put home made sweets in front of me I could care less. "Dem, I'm seeing a guy. Roxy's name is really Roxas and I think I might be falling in love with him. I didn't tell you because I don't know, I thought it would be weird or some shit."

"Wow." He said and looked down at his feet and stayed silent for a while.

"Pretty much." I agreed, and stood next to him contemplating my own feet. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"No, it's cool. I get it now." Suddenly he was animated again and eating his own cookies. "Does this mean that I'll get to finally meet him?"

I smiled over at him and knew that it was going to work out and that we'd be ok. "Definitely."

"You never, you know… about me, right?"

That statement was nearly laughable. "Oh god no. No offense or anything Dem, but you're not my type and I'm not gay. It's just this kid." The whole scene was, in my mind, anticlimactic but thankfully so.

"Can I tell Zexion?! He'll shit!"

"I think Zexion has already guessed what's going on, but knock yourself out." I continued to grab more cookies. Demyx started looking at me with a smile and a face that clearly told me that he was about to say something teasing. "What? Just say it, you know you want to."

He cracked, "I was just thinking that it's so cute that you care about this guy enough to come out to your friends."

And that was it. That was exactly what was going on. I cared about him enough that I wanted people to know that I was seeing him, that I didn't want him to be something in my life that I hid from my friends. I was not about to exchange manicures and do each other's make up with Demyx so we were going to end this little tea party now.

Demyx didn't really seem too surprised to hear about Rikku's revenge. Like the good friend that he was he offered to go with me to egg her on the street, but unfortunately I decided not to push my luck.

_Axel txt: I have the week off from work what are you doing?_

"Awww, are you texting him? Tell him that I said 'hi'!" Demyx lingered over my shoulder.

"Don't make me regret telling you." I look at him sternly.

"Fine, fine, whatever. You should call the girls though, the band is playing at Smitty's tonight." He threw back as he walked into the bathroom. Smitty's was one of my favorite bars. It wasn't pretentious, it catered to its regulars, and it had the best beer selection around.

_Roxas txt: I'm packing to go home._

_Axel txt: What? Why?_

_Roxas txt: It's holiday break, duh. I don't have school for a week and a half._

What the hell? Why didn't he tell me that he was free for over a week? I immediately called him, sometimes txting just didn't cut it. "Dude, let's go somewhere fun, get drunk and make general asses of ourselves!"

I heard him laugh into the phone, "I have to go home, my mother would kill me if I didn't go."

"Does that mean that I won't get to see you for a week and a half?" I asked, trying to keep the dismay from my voice.

"Bawww, do you miss me that much?" He laughed some more and I didn't dignify that with a response. "I'm only going to be at my parents' house for a week, I'm going to come back to school early. As soon as I get back I'll let you know."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Have fun."

"I'll call you."

"Oh, wait, before you go-"

"Yes?" Was it me or did he sound hopeful?

"Picture your mother naked for me."

"You're such an asshole." He hung up the phone and I felt somewhat satisfied that I'd made him suffer a bit.

* * *

The week was DRAGGING by and it'd only been four days. I'd sat my ass in front of the TV for three of those days playing the Kingdom Hearts games that Kairi had loaned me. They were a little too cutesy for my taste and Donald Duck pissed me off more than was probably rational. I was also a little peeved when No.8 died, I mean really, what the hell. Oh, and I had to agree with Kairi, No.8 totally had wood for No.13, no doubt. I'm sorry, but best GUY friends do not interact that way normally, Disney or not.

Ugh, Demyx was off tooling around with his band, practicing for something or other and everyone else was at work. I was going stir crazy and had to get out of my apartment. That was when I got the brilliant idea to go visit Roxas. I was a little shocked to learn that he lived a little over two hours away when Namine gave me his address, but figured that I had nothing else better to do.

The ride there was boring as sin too. I chain smoked and listened to music obscenely loud just to stay awake. And just when I was starting to think that magical road creatures were adding pieces to the stretch of road that I was driving on, making it longer, I spotted my exit. THANK FUCKING GOD!

Roxas lived in a rather posh section of clean looking town. There was no graffiti to be seen, no boarded up buildings and only well manicured lawns with white picket fences. Roxas' house itself was intimidating. It was HUGE and stark white. I pulled into the driveway and parked behind a well polished Mercedes Benz. What the fuck? I had no idea that Roxas was so well off. I guess it made sense though, his family all being doctors and whatnot. It made me wonder though, just what he thought of the rest of us.

I admired the white rose bushes that grew near the driveway on my way towards the house and almost turned around to get back in my car. Suddenly this wasn't seeming like the best idea, but I pushed on. When I reached his high lacquered front door I stood there like a retard with my finger hesitantly over the door bell. When I finally pushed it I had the urge to play ding-dong-dash.

Thankfully Roxas was the one who answered the door but seemed shocked as hell to see me. That was understandable. "Axel?!" He looked behind himself before joining me outside with the door not quite closed behind him. "What are you doing here?" Was that fear in his voice?

"I came to see you." I grinned. "Want me to kidnap you?" I asked only half serious.

The door opened behind Roxas and I saw a girl with short brown hair that curled up at the ends. "Oh, hi!" She waved cheerfully and Roxas went white. "Your mother said dinner was ready." She told him.

"Selphie, this is my friend Axel." _Yeah, his friend that liked to do dirty things with him._ "Axel, this is Selphie."

"Oh you must go to school with Roxas." She said, holding her hand out to me, but when I went to take it she shook her head. "No, _look_!" She held her hand up in front of me. "He finally asked me!" Then I noticed it, the GIANORMOUS diamond engagement ring on her finger. "We're getting married!" She squealed and latched onto Roxas' arm.

"Congratulations..." I managed to get out while staring at them together. My insides were coiling around on each other and I felt my heart POUNDING in my chest in an irregular rhythm. There was fire pulsing through my veins but I was frozen stiff.

"Will you stay for dinner?" Selphie asked politely and I just wanted to punch her in the throat.

I shook my head, "I have to get going." I didn't say anything else, I couldn't! I just turned and started walking.

"It was nice meeting you!" She called out to me as I walked away.

"Axel?!" Roxas questioned behind me. I couldn't even turn around to look at him and picked up my pace. "Axel!" That's all he could say? No, 'ha-ha, just kidding' or at least a 'let me explain'?

I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut and my blood was rushing so fast that there was a pounding in my ears blocking out any and all sound. My stomach turned again and I found myself throwing up in those beautiful white rose bushes. What the fuck was happening to me? I shut my phone off and didn't even remember the drive home.


	7. Part 7

I don't own KH.

**

* * *

**

Life Out of Costume

Part 7

* * *

"Hey Mom, I was just calling to let you know that I lost my phone. If you need to get a hold of me just call Dem. – What? – Yes, I'm all right. – I just lost my phone and I'm irritated about it, that's all. – I love you too. Bye." I hung up the phone and handed it back to Demyx.

He looked at me questioningly, "Don't you want to check your voicemail at least? I know you don't want to answer your phone but there could be something important in there."

"I don't think so." I mumbled, sat down at the kitchen table and put my head down.

He stayed silent and shifted; I could tell that I was making him uncomfortable. "I don't know how to deal with things like this. Should I buy you a pint of ice cream and rent you Meg Ryan movies or something?" At least that made me laugh. "Do you want to go egg the girl?"

When I came home from the nightmare that was going to Roxas' house yesterday, Dem wasn't home. I didn't know what to do with myself so I sat down just inside the front door. It had gotten dark outside and I must have been sitting alone on the floor in the dark for hours before he found me.

"_Axel, what're you doing?"_

"_Roxas is engaged." _

From there he just sighed and picked me up off the floor.

Demyx's phone started ringing and snapped me out of my daze. "It's Kairi." He said and looked over at me.

"I don't want to talk to her." I mumbled with my head still down and in my arms.

"Hello?" Demyx answered the phone and walked away from me a ways. "No, Axel's not here." He looked over at me. "For the most part." I could tell that he was nodding his head even though Kairi couldn't see him over the phone. I always found it amusing that he used hand gestures while talking on the phone. "I'll tell him that you called. Later." He hung up the phone and put it on the table next to me.

With a sigh he sat down across the table from me. "Kairi says that they've all been trying to get a hold of you and that you're not answering any of their calls. She seemed really worried about you. Apparently Roxas called them when he couldn't get in touch with you and thought that you were ignoring only him."

"Do you think they all knew, Dem?" I asked staring blankly in front of me.

"Knew what? You mean what happened?"

"Do you think they all knew that he was seeing someone else?" I was feeling irrationally pissed off at Kairi, Namine and the rest of them at the moment. I think the only one that I didn't hold any animosity towards was Sora. There is no way that he could have known about Selphie, being in the position that he was and even what he'd said to me, no, he didn't know.

"It's hard to say. I could see them knowing, I mean, they did keep the fact that Roxas wasn't a girl from me for you, so I could see them lying for a friend. Though Kairi always seemed genuinely excited at the prospect of you two getting together, while Namine was quiet about it." He drummed his fingers on the table.

The door bell chimed and Demyx jumped to his feet and I pulled the hood of my sweat shirt up and over my head. Yes, the famous ostrich technique! My stomach knotted in anticipation and fear- I wanted to shoot myself for feeling the way I did. In a matter of moments Demyx came back into the kitchen with Larxene right behind him.

"I'm so sorry, honey." She came over and threw herself on my back and hugged me tight enough to cut off my breathing. I guessed that Demyx had explained to her what was going on.

"I'm fine." I smiled the biggest, cheesiest fake smile that I could at her. "Really."

"You stayed home from work?" She said while examining my face.

Demyx laughed wryly next to me. "His ex-girlfriend brought him up on sexual harassment charges and his office sent him home for the week."

"When it rains, it pours, huh?" She put her hand on my head and gave me a sympathetic look. "Enough of this depressing shit, what are you going to do to break up this engagement?" Larxene smiled and prepared for battle mode.

I looked at her like she was stupid. "Nothing. I'm not going to do anything."

"What? You're just going to let that tramp get your man?" She was actually shocked and turned my 'what are you stupid?' look right back on me.

"I don't know that she's a tramp, she seemed nice actually." I muttered and looked away.

"I offered to help egg her!" Demyx said proudly with a smile.

I pushed my chair back and stood up, "I'm fine, I don't need any help. I should have guessed that he was seeing someone else, I mean come on, I was for half of our relationship. I never asked and he never told me. I have no right to be mad about it."

"Just because you think you don't have a right to be mad, even though you do, he's engaged for Christ sake, doesn't mean that you're not upset about it." Larxene looked at me. "It's ok to be mad and hurt."

I just stared at her. I _was_ hurt, oh my fucking god was I hurt. I had a constant pain in my chest and acid pumping through my body. And I was mad, but not at him, I was mad at myself. I felt so stupid. "Hey Dem, wanna have a horror movie marathon and get plastered?"

"HELL YEAH!" he cheered. "I'll go to the store. Dark or light beer?"

"Dark."

He gathered up his keys and was out the door in a matter of minutes, which left me alone with Larxene. I crossed the room to her and took her up in my arms, and embrace that she returned lovingly. "I'm such an idiot." I spoke into her hair since she was shorter than me.

"I know." She laughed out. "Why don't you turn your phone back on and just talk to him. It sounds like he's been trying to call you from what Dem said."

I shook my head, a motion that I knew she couldn't see but felt instead. "I don't want to."

"Axel, nothing is going to get cleared up unless you try to work through things."

"I don't want to work through things. I'm just going to let it go." I hugged her tighter. "I can't be with him and know that he's with someone else."

"Maybe he'll drop her when you tell him how you feel."

"He's engaged Lark, if he was planning to drop anyone, it was me." I felt the anger and the shame build up in my throat like a nasty lump, "I'd rather just walk away from it without having to face the rejection full on, ya know?"

"So what are you going to do? Change your phone number and hide out in your apartment forever?" We moved apart.

"Not forever." I smiled wryly at her. "I do plan to get drunk and forget about it for a while though. Wanna join me?"

"No." She answered flatly, "I have to get back to work. I don't suppose you'd give me Roxas' phone number if I asked?" I looked at her blankly. "No, I didn't think so." She hugged me one last time. "Take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid, please."

"I won't, I promise not to even leave the apartment." I walked her to the door.

* * *

My hangover was impressive to say the least. I slept on the couch amidst ash trays and beer bottles that littered the coffee table. Demyx must have thrown a blanket over me while I slept. I looked at the clock and it said 7:32, the sun should be up by now, but I guessed it was just another rainy gloomy day. Good. Yeah, wasn't I just the ray of sunshine today?

I pushed myself off the couch and wandered into the kitchen in desperate need of water. Demyx and Zexion were there having a discussion about something or other, I couldn't be bothered to pay attention, it was painful. "What the hell are you doing up so early?" I asked Demyx, who was showered and in normal clothes.

"Axel, it's seven thirty at night. You slept all day." Well that explained why it was dark out. Demyx dropped some Alka-seltzer into a glass for me and handed it over. "How're you feeling?"

I pounded the glass and refilled it from the tap. "Probably about as good as I look."

"Do you need anything?" he asked while Zexion just stared at me. I shook my head no and that was a mistake. My head was throbbing. "Kairi's called five times for you today."

"Good for her." I mumbled and filled my empty glass up again from the tap.

"She's wanted me to give her our address so she could come over."

"You didn't, right?" I pinned him with a stare and he just shook his head. "Good. I'm going to bed."

"You just got up!"

"So?" Taking a glass of water with me I shuffled into my room and shut the door.

I heard someone approach my door but they didn't come in. "Axel?" I could tell that it was Demyx even though the door muffled his voice. "Did you stop to think that he might be just as miserable as you are right now?"

"I don't care, Dem."

"Will you at least eat something?"

"I'm not hungry." Honestly I think anything that I put in my stomach other than water didn't stand a chance of staying down anyway. I buried myself in my blankets and was out like a light.

* * *

My last day of 'vacation' consisted of me lying in my bed contemplating my ceiling or watching the weather channel. Exciting, I know. It wasn't that I was depressed, alright, I was a little down in the mouth, but I just didn't know what to do with myself. Shit just wasn't fun at the moment. I found myself looking back on events for any clues that I'd missed. It did explain why he wasn't pissed when he found out about Rikku. I figured that it also explained why he'd put up with so much of my shit, it's not like it mattered if I was mad at him or not, he had her to fall back on.

Today was supposed to be my first day back to work, but I couldn't bring myself to get up when the alarm went off and ended up calling in. I probably should have gone, it would have been something to distract me from my thoughts. "I had Lexaeus make you a quiche and some scones." Demyx put a pastry box down in front of me. "And I figured that you were jonesing for some caffeine you fiend." He put a Starbucks cup down next to the bag.

"You're awesome, Dem!" I swear I could have shot love hearts out of my eyes at him at the moment if it was possible.

He took a seat next to me on the couch. "Kairi keeps calling."

"Oh well." I smiled.

"Are you just going to ignore them forever?"

"I'm going to try." The quiche was DEVINE!! Wash that down with a chai latte and it was almost orgasmic. "Other than that, I think I'm done with acting like a girl." I got up and grabbed my phone from my jacket pocket. I flipped it open and turned it on.

"I'm glad that you're getting back to normal, but don't you think you're being immature about the whole 'I'm never speaking to them again' thing?" He started picking pieces off of a scone.

My phone vibrated violently and I looked at my inboxes. I had over twenty voicemail messages and fifty-four txts. I was kind of impressed. I hit delete and wiped both boxes clean without checking a single message. "Pffft, I pride myself on just how immature I am." I knew that it was bothering him, "You don't have to lie to her when she calls, just tell her that I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to put you in the middle."

My phone started ringing and I checked my caller id: Roxas. Yeah right, I quickly pushed that into voicemail and went back to eating my quiche. "Was that him?" Dem asked hesitantly.

"Doesn't matter." I spoke around the mouthful of food.

_Roxas txt: I know that you turned your phone on finally because I can tell when you push me into voicemail. PLEASE CALL ME!_

I deleted the message after reading it. "Was that him again?" I didn't answer him and kept munching on my quiche. "What are you doing? He's trying to talk to you and you're just ignoring him? Do you think you're punishing him or something?"

"Lexaeus is a god in the kitchen." And I meant that, the man was a culinary genius. He stood up and tried to take my phone from the coffee table but I grabbed it before he could. "Don't."

_Roxas txt: I NEED to talk to y-_ I deleted the message without making it through it and turned my phone off again. Demyx was staring at me with pity written all over his face. "Don't look at me like that."

"What? Right now I think I'm feeling just as bad for him as I am for you. You're being an asshole."

"Thanks for taking my side, Dem." I said sarcastically.

"I'm just saying…"

"Well don't."

* * *

Rikku, Aerith and Yuffie all had smug looks on their faces when I sauntered into work. My guess was that they thought I'd been sufficiently cowed and that they'd gotten me. Whatever, I didn't care. Xemnas gave me a knowing nod and stayed in his office for the rest of the day.

By mid afternoon I was more than ready to leave, but settled on going to Starbucks instead. "Hey man! You're back!" Xigbar greeted me when I walked into the mail room. "It's been boring here without you. How was your vacation?"

"Not long enough." I grinned at him.

"Yeah, they never are." We walked out of the building and over to Starbucks. "Hey man, I'm having another party this weekend. You should come by!"

"I'll try to make…" the words died in my mouth and my stomach dropped down to my toes. We were a few feet away from Starbucks and I saw the back of Roxas' head in the window. _Shit._ "Dude, do me a favor? Get me my latte? I've got to do something."

"What? You're not going to come in?" He looked at me a little disappointed. "Sora's been asking about you, I'm sure he would have been stoked to see you."

"It's, uh, urgent." I gave him a look that clearly said 'do not ask'.

He looked me over for a moment but accepted my money, "OK, I'll see you back in the office."

I watched him walk away and I crossed the street to go back to the office. The kid was pissing me off by fucking up everything else and now he was getting in the way of my caffeine. I stood out in front of our building and sucked down a cigarette so fast that I actually felt a bit light headed from it. I lit another one off the first. It was damn cold outside, but it was better than going to sit with the harpies upstairs.

After what seemed like forever Xigbar finally came back with his coffee and my latte. "Dude, what's goin' on?" He asked as he handed me my latte and a folded up piece of paper.

"What's this?" I asked holding the paper out without opening it. The thing was going to get burned if it was from Roxas.

"It's from Sora, he asked me to give it you." He burnt his mouth, like he always did, on his coffee. "There was some blond kid in there asking about you too. Sora figured that you were back to work since I wouldn't drink that chick drink." He pointed at my latte. "And suddenly this blond kid shot up from his seat and started looking around the place like it was on fire."

"Huh, that's strange." I pretended that I didn't know who Roxas was. I unfolded the paper that Xigbar had given me.

_Roxas has been here all day yesterday and now today. _

_He finally told me what happened and I'm not speaking to him, so you can imagine how comfortable it is to have him here. _

_I know you turned your phone off, but call me if you need to. _

_If you want I'll try to poison his coffee._

_Don't cut us all off because Roxas is an asshole, please._

_Sora_

"No idea who he is? He said he knew you."

"Nope, none. Thanks for the latte."

"No problem." We headed back into the office. "Do you think I have a shot at Boobs now?"

"Dude, I wouldn't wish that on anyone." I muttered darkly.

* * *

There had to be something wrong with me, I found myself sitting on my couch paying bills and feeling sympathetic towards Rikku. Don't get me wrong, I still thought she was a crazy-ass bitch for doing what she did, but I couldn't hate her for it.

"I made some pasta, want some?" Demyx called from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" I called back and started picking my shit up.

The door bell rang and Demyx came running down the hall. "That's probably Zexion, he said he might drop by before the show."

"Ooo, does Lark know what you're doing with her husband?" I laughed.

I heard him open the door and let someone in as I got up to head down to the kitchen. I'd be damned if I was going to let Zexion get my dinner, Demyx offered me first. "Axel, there's someone here to see you." Demyx said hesitantly when he came back in.

I stood in my own living room staring straight at Roxas. My stomach immediately tied itself in knots and I swear I could feel my hair stand on end. "What're you doing here?" I ground out.

"What? I can't just waltz into your life whenever I please like you do in mine?" He sounded pissed. "Am I screwing your shit up by being here?" He stepped forward and poor Demyx just looked on from the side.

"No, you're just pissing me off by being here." I crossed my arms and watching him seethe at me I fought the urges to punch him, kiss him, and go and hide warring inside me.

"Why, because I'm in your real life now? I bet he", Roxas turned sharply towards Demyx, "doesn't even know who I am. I'm not stupid, Axel, I know why you never invited me over here."

"This is Roxas?" Demyx pointed at him and Roxas just turned to him with wide eyes. I nodded. "Well, I'll leave you two to sort things out." He reached for his jacket.

"Don't bother, Dem, Roxas was just leaving." I said trying to stare a hole into Roxas' head.

"Oh fuck no I'm not! I've been calling and txting you for days without response. I had to sell a week's worth of meal tickets to get a bus here. AND I had to sit in a coffee shop for the past two days because it was the only place I knew that you went."

Demyx proceeded to put his coat on and grabbed the door knob. "I'm sorry we didn't meet under better circumstances." Demyx offered Roxas a weak smile before walking out, effectively leaving us alone.

"How did you know where I lived? I KNOW Sora didn't tell you, and he's the only one that knows."

"Riku." He answered flatly.

I shifted to the side and reached for my cigarettes. "So you're here now. What do you want?"

He took off his jacket and threw it over the back of the chair. "You had no right showing up at my house like you did. You could have fucked up everything."

"Yeah, gee, I'm _real_ sorry." I lit my cigarette, I needed something to calm down.

"Why didn't you answer my calls, or anyone else's?" His tone was softer and I could tell that he was coming down from his initial bout of anger.

"Because I'm done with it, I don't want to do this any more." I continued to smoke.

"So that's it? You just forget about us, about me?"

"Pretty much, and it'd be a hell of a lot easier too if you'd just leave me the fuck alone." Why was it so hard to say this to him? Was it because I knew I didn't mean any of it?

"Why are you so mad at me? Weren't you seeing someone else while you were fucking me? What does it matter if I have someone else in my life too? Or is it a double standard?" He walked up closer to me.

I put my cigarette out, "It's not important. It doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does, it matters to me."

"Roxas, it's not even like you're just seeing someone else, you're engaged to be married to them."

"That's not my fault", he yelled. "I've been trying to explain this to you." His frustration was showing through and he looked tired. "Selphie and I grew up together, our parents are really good friends. We've been seeing each other since we were fifteen because, well that's kind of what was expected of us." He shrugged at the last part. "My mother gave me my grandmother's ring, hinting that she wanted me to give it to Selphie. From what I've worked out my father was talking to Selphie about some movie with a ring in it, probably Lord of the Rings, and my mother heard part of the conversation. She immediately thought that my father had ruined the surprise and Selphie inadvertently found out." He looked at me desperately, "What was I supposed to do?"

"Who knows, it's your mess." I shrugged and walked away from him towards the kitchen.

"My parents expect me to become a doctor and marry Selphie and give them a pile of grandkids." He stalked down the hall after me. "If they found out that I was seeing you they'd kill me or disown me, whichever came first."

"Lucky for you then that you're not seeing me, huh?" I laughed over my shoulder while opening the fridge for a soda.

"Why are you acting like this?" He stood with his arms out in exasperation. "Why can't we keep seeing each other? You can go off and get another stupid girlfriend and we'll be even. It's not like I'm getting married tomorrow! I won't do it until I'm out of school at least and that's four years."

I spun around on him and shut the door with a snap. "Because I fucking love you!" I yelled at him. "I don't _want_ to get another stupid girlfriend and I don't want you to get married!" Before I could carry on more with my rant he crossed the room and threw himself at me. I couldn't keep myself from greedily consuming every bit of him that I could. It felt perfect to have him back with me and soon enough I was walking us down to my bedroom.

We settled into a comfortable tangle of limbs, and it wasn't strange at all to have Roxas in my bed like I would have previously imagined. Our argument was pushed from my mind and all I knew was what was going on in this moment.

"Don't." He said and slapped the tube of lube from my hand.

I looked down at him unsure, "It's going to hurt."

"I know." His face was serious and determined and he pulled me back down onto him. I tried my best to use my pre-cum to coat his entrance, but I knew it still wasn't going to be comfortable. I nearly stopped when I noticed the tears gathering at the corners of his pinched eyes.

"Roxas…"

"Don't stop." He warned me and pushed my ass down with his hands. I was torn between wanting to make it last forever and wanting to finish quickly to alleviate his pain.

When we'd finished he still clung to me with his face turned down and his forehead to my chest. "I love you, Roxy."

His fingers dug into my skin. "I hate you", he spoke quietly. "You ruined everything." And I suppose I did. I understood what he meant and he was right. This whole liaison hinged on the fact that neither of us had wanted to be involved in an emotional relationship. I'd stepped over those bounds when I decided that I wanted him all to myself.

There was no tearful goodbye when he left, he simply put his clothes on, grabbed his jacket from the living room and walked out of the apartment.

* * *

"Did he say 'forever and ever' at the end?" I asked before taking a sip of my latte.

Sora shook his head but smiled nonetheless. "It was implied, and that was good enough."

Xigbar was out today and I assumed that he was still recuperating from his party this weekend. I'd extended my break this afternoon and sat with Sora while his trainee took care of the work. He was telling me about how Riku had asked him if they could see each other exclusively. "It's about time."

"I guess I have you and Roxas to thank for it." He fidgeted with his hands in his lap. "When Roxas was up last time he was staying with Riku. After watching what you guys went through I guess it just made something click in him, ya know?"

"I'm glad something good came out of it then." It didn't really bother me to talk about it. Roxas and I couldn't go back to what we were and we couldn't be anything else. There was nothing else to do but to get over it and that's what I was doing. Roxas hadn't called or txt me since he walked out the door and I'd made no attempt to contact him.

"Does this mean that you're not going to come to any more conventions?"

"Probably not, at least not for a while anyway." I wrapped my hands around my cup to soak up its warmth. "That doesn't mean that we won't still hang out though. Kairi and Namine are going with me to my roommate's show tonight, you're welcome to come along if you want."

He shook his head, "Nah, thanks anyway. I've got something planned with Riku."

"Of course" I smiled over at him.

* * *

Demyx had been ecstatic when I walked into the bar with Kairi and Namine with me, even though I'd told him ahead of time that they would be there. Larxene was already there sitting at a small table across the room from the bar with Zexion and some pink haired guy. I assumed that he was Zexion's date and briefly wondered how odd it was for Larxene to be out with her husband and his boyfriend. Weird.

"Guys, you remember Kairi and Namine, they helped with your bridal shower." I reintroduced the girls to the 'guys' while moving another small table close to theirs.

As it turned out the only one that knew about Roxas and Selphie was Hayner, though I had my suspicions that Tidus knew as well considering that he'd already told me that he knew them in high school. It wasn't like Tidus knew that Roxas and I were screwing anyway, so it was understandable that it never came up in conversation. I couldn't find it in me to be mad at Hayner for not telling me either.

"Of course I remember them!" Larxene was up out of her seat and gave both of the girls hugs. "It's nice to have other girls here with me for once."

Zexion cleared his throat and motioned to the third person in their group. "This is Marluxia, and this Axel, Kairi and Namine." He pointed to us all in turn.

"Marly." Marluxia corrected Zexion and shook my hand. This guy kind of creeped me out and I was quick to take my hand back. He effectively ignored the girls completely.

"What're you guys drinking?" I asked Kairi and Namine while taking out my wallet.

They looked at each other and then turned to me, "Can we drink? Is it ok?" I forgot that they weren't twenty-one but didn't see a problem with it anyway.

"Yeah sure, I'm buying." I waved off their reluctance.

"Are you sure?" Namine asked and I just nodded. "I'll have a vodka cranberry then."

"I want the same." Kairi said immediately.

Larxene got up from her seat, "I'll come with you."

The place wasn't too crowded, but the night was early yet. I ordered the drinks and waited. "How've you been?" Larxene asked me cautiously.

"I'm ok." I answered with a bit of a smile. "It's been over a week Lark, stop worrying about me."

"I'll never stop worrying about you." She nudged me in the arm.

I accepted my beer and paid for the drinks. "You sound just like my mother." I mocked her.

The night wore on and I was surprisingly having a good time. Kairi was lit and she and Namine were up dancing with Larxene on the dance floor. They looked like a whole pile of retardedness and I had to laugh. "You laugh, you can't dance either." Zexion snorted from beside me.

"You're just sticking up for your little wife up there." I shot back at him.

He laughed and nodded in agreement. "I think Marly has taken a liking to you."

"That's nice. Is he your new boyfriend?" I asked still watching the girls on the floor. It looked like Kairi had enough and was making her way back over to the table. I'd started giving her Sprite and cranberry juice whenever she wanted another drink and she didn't seem to know the difference.

"No, Marly and I are just friends. He works down at the art center and let's me use his studio once in a while."

After he said that, it dawned on me what was going on. "Were you trying to set me up with him?" I turned to face him with a raised eyebrow.

"Set you up with who?" Kairi slurred out as she sat down.

"Maybe, are you interested?" Zexion leaned over towards me with a grin on his face.

"No." I said flatly. "Don't set me up." I looked at him point blank.

He shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes slightly, "I was just trying to help you get your dick wet with a rebound fuck."

"Zexion," I warned.

He moved closer to me and moved his knee between my legs. "What?" He grinned at me.

"Oh my god!" Kairi gasped from across the table. "You're trying to kiss him!" She slurred at Zexion and started pointing wildly at him as well. "He loves Roxas, you can't!"

"Roxas doesn't love him!" Zexion yelled back at her, though whether to shout at her or just to be heard over the music I couldn't tell. Either way, being slightly intoxicated, it was not something that I needed to hear. I grabbed the front of Zexion's shirt, pulled him to me, and kissed him. It was drunk, it was sloppy and but it felt good.

"No, Axel, he does love you, I know he does! He has to." I heard Kairi say from across the table.

We broke apart and I looked at him seriously, "I'm not Demyx."

"Yeah, and I'm not Roxas. I'm glad we're clear on that." He answered returning my stare evenly.

I got up and he stood up to follow me. "And just what the fuck is going on here?" Larxene said, Namine standing just behind her. Kairi slid down in her seat, I'm assuming to try and disappear.

"We were leaving." Zexion answered for the both of us.

"Not together you're not." Larxene came up and smacked me in the back of the head.

"Ow!" I rubbed the spot where she hit me.

"Why not?" Zexion stood defiantly in front of her. "It's not like we're really married or anything."

In a second Larxene was in his face, "I don't care who you fuck, but you're not taking advantage of my drunk and emotionally unstable best friend."

"Hey!" I said indignantly. "Lark!"

I hadn't noticed that Demyx's set ended but it was pretty clear when I found him standing next to me. "What's up guys?" He asked with a smile and stole my beer from the table. "Did Marly leave already?"

"Yeah, he left a while ago." Zexion answered with a smile like nothing was going on- like he wasn't just trying to pick up his roommate.

"Dem, will you take these three home? The two gingers are drunk and I'd hate to leave poor Namine alone to deal with them." Larxene turned to look at me. "You and I will talk tomorrow."

"Yes, mom." I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed my coat.

* * *

The next day I got an earful from Larxene about my being selfish and stupid, two things that were always abundantly clear to me anyway. In an effort to not exclude Demyx from the going-ons of my personal life, I filled him in on what had happened. He admitted to not wanting to know in the first place, but also to being glad that it didn't happen. I guess I could see it from his perspective, what if things went bad between Zexion and myself and Demyx got stuck in the middle? Needless to say, nothing ever happened between me and Zexion again.

It had now been a whole three weeks since I'd last spoken to Roxas and things were pretty much back to normal. Don't get me wrong, that didn't mean that I didn't miss him or that I didn't find myself thinking about him numerous times of the day. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into Starbucks with Xigbar in the middle of the week, during our afternoon break, and saw him sitting in one of the over stuffed chairs.

I waved to him politely as we passed, but was ignored, and headed to the counter to see Sora. "Arrrrr!" Xigbar and Sora exchanged their normal greeting while I threw in my customary eye roll. "How're things with the Mrs.?" Xigbar asked.

"Good!" Sora answered with a broad smile. "How're things with…"

"My hand?" Xigbar asked, bringing his right hand up and wiggling his fingers in response? "I never leave home without it."

"One day you're going to come in here and tell me all about some chick you fell in love with." Sora rang us up while his 'helper' made our drinks.

"Yes, yes and I will go on and on about the size of her tits too." He grinned and paid for the both of us. "What's up with Axel's little blond stalker over there?" He signaled with a nod towards Roxas.

"He's not a stalker." I answered and grabbed my drink. "He's my friend, Roxas." Sora looked at me strangely and I caught a whiff of pity in the air.

"Not a very friendly friend." Xigbar said rather loudly while looking directly at Roxas.

"Leave him alone, he's probably just in a bad mood. You're a real dick when you're hung over and pissed off too." I defended him. "Thanks, Sora." I saluted him with my drink and started for the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Sora waved and I could tell that Xigbar was following.

"See ya tomorrow, little dude. Maybe I'll have some new gossip for you then."

When I walked past Roxas' seat again I nodded at him, "Good seeing you, Roxy", he stared straight at me but didn't say anything.

This routine continued for the next three days. Xigbar and I would go to Starbucks for our afternoon break and Roxas would be there to stare at and not speak to me. Every day Xigbar would say something rude to him and every day Sora wouldn't offer any sort of explanation.

On the fourth day however, the routine changed. Just before we got into Starbucks I got a phone call. Looking down at the caller id I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" I waved Xigbar on without me.

"Axel?" It was a female voice that I didn't recognize on the other end.

"Yes?"

"This is Selphie," my heart stopped for a moment. I looked into Starbucks and saw Roxas sitting in the same chair that he'd been occupying for the past week. "Do you remember me from Roxas' house?"

"I remember. What can I do for you?"

"Tidus gave me your number." _Of course he did._ "I think we need to talk." _Nope, no we don't. _"Will you please meet me later?" _Fuck._

* * *

A/N: Happy Halloween, the one day that cosplayers don't look like complete tools! =B


	8. Part 8

I don't own KH.

* * *

Life Out of Costume

Part 8

* * *

I am not a wuss, really. I'll admit that I DO jump onto my bed after I've turned out the lights to avoid the monsters reaching out for my ankles from under it and I'll even admit to not being able to watch the surgery channel on TV. But you shouldn't think any less of me for calling Larxene for help.

"So what are you going to do?" Her voice was edging on being amused and I sunk into my cubicle further to avoid Aerith's gaze.

"I was thinking of faking my own death, but that would go against my whole plan of pretending that nothing happened."

"Well do you know how much she knows?" I shook my head in response, like a dumbass, and then quickly realized that she couldn't see me over the phone and answered 'no'. "Maybe you should call Roxas and see what he thinks. It's his life after all."

Roxas hadn't spoken to me since he walked out of my apartment weeks ago. I didn't exactly have faith that he would even pick up the phone if I called now. "I don't know. I think I should just deny the whole thing, if that's even what she wants, though I don't see how it could be anything else." I took a breath to calm down, and looked around to make sure that my private conversation was just that, private. "I don't really want to be responsible for fucking up his life."

"He screwed up his own life. If the kid had half a sac on him all of this wouldn't be happening", Larxene spat into the phone. "And you, when did you get to be such a self depreciating martyr?"

"What?"

"This is not at all what I would have expected from you in a situation like this. The Axel I know does what he wants to and goes after what he wants, damn the situation and lets the pieces fall where they will." She was growing frustrated with me, could you tell? She was right though and that's how I normally handled any situation, but it was different this time, and I told her so. "How is this any different?" She asked, already dismissing any excuse I was going to give her.

"Because Lark, I care what happens to him. What if I just went in there told her the truth and set off a whole chain reaction? What if she broke off their engagement-"

"GOOD!" she cut me off.

"-and told his parents-"

"There are worse things", again she added.

"-and they, in turn, cut off funding for his schooling?" I paused waiting for her to cut me off again, but she didn't. "What then? He ends up working at McDick's for the rest of his life because I couldn't keep my mouth shut? Because I wanted something that he wasn't even willing to give me in the first place?"

"Stop being so melodramatic." She sighed into the phone. "Life doesn't work that way, you've been watching too many movies. I say _do_ what you want, and if that happens to be Roxas then screw the kid into the wall."

"That's easier said than done." I muttered and again looked around.

"Have you tried?"

"No."

"Well then you're retarded. Honestly Axel, play up to your strengths. Give the kid something to go on here and make him crawl to you. This whole…" she paused and I could tell that she was trying to sum up her thoughts into words, "whole deal with being all noble isn't you and isn't going to do you any good."

I glanced at my clock and realized that I was supposed to leave in ten minutes. This was probably the first time in my life that I WANTED the work day to be longer. I was supposed to be meeting Selphie at a bar down the street from here. She'd actually suggested the place after she mentioned that she was in town- most likely following Roxas.

"Thanks Lark, that was wholly unhelpful." I murmured and started shutting down my computer. "I'll call you later, ok?"

"You'd better." She said with a laugh and hung up.

I trudged my ass down the street to Blue 82, the bar that Selphie had picked out, and I don't think I could have been moving any slower if I tried. OK, so I WAS trying to move as slowly as possible. I don't know what bothered me more, that I was willingly walking somewhere to get chewed out, or that I was going to have a drink with _her_.

The bar itself was one that I normally avoided. It was recently remodeled to look like a NYC bar and the prices reflected it too. It hyped itself up to pretentious yuppies that wanted to be on Sex in the City. This time of day, it was generally filled with lecherous older men and too young of girls that wanted a guy in a suit. Great, Selphie and I would fit in here wonderfully.

I saw her sitting at a small table near the window when I approached and wondered briefly if she'd been sitting there since she called me. She wore a yellow dress and had one of those oversized handbags hanging off the back of her chair. What the hell do women keep in those things? I swear it's those little yapper dogs. A drink was half finished sitting in front of her. Maybe she'd get so bombed that she'd forget why she was here and end up puking all over that unnecessarily cheerful yellow dress.

Strangely, Selphie's back was to the door. Didn't people normally face the door when they were expecting someone? Was she giving me this opportunity to change my mind and leave? Mmmkay, reading WAY too much into that one. I approached her from behind but before I could say anything she turned to me with a smile. "Hello." She nodded at the seat across from her. It was then that I noticed the mirror above the bar. Good thing I didn't chicken out at the last minute, she would have watched the whole spectacle. "You clean up rather nicely." She commented before taking a sip of her drink.

The last time I'd seen Selphie I was wearing an old baggy hooded sweatshirt and jeans. I guess it was a change to see me with my hair tied back and in slacks and a tie now. "Thank you." I smiled politely, hoping that the 'fucking bitch' comment that was threatening to escape my mouth stayed tightly behind my teeth. "How was your trip?"

"I took the train and was fortunate enough to ride along side the river. It was very scenic." God I wanted to kick her or shake her, something to get her to tell me the real reason that she was here. The suspense was killing me.

The bartender came over after a minute and took my drink order, "I'll have a Guinness, and…" I left the order open for Selphie.

"Another Shirley Temple, please." She said in a higher girlish voice. "I don't drink." She commented with a smile after the bartender walked away. Well good for her, I probably drank enough for the both of us.

From the corner of my eye I caught a flash of blond and half expected it to be Roxas, but fortunately it turned out to be Larxene. I tried to school my features to not show my surprise and she just winked at me. Taking a seat at the table directly beside us she pulled out her cell phone and started punching the keys.

"You probably know why I'm here." Selphie began and for some reason I felt a lot better about the situation by just having Larxene there with me in close proximity.

My posture relaxed a bit, "No, I'm afraid I don't. Care to indulge me?" I asked almost cheekily. I kind of wanted to show Larxene that I wasn't such a coward, since I knew she was listening in.

Selphie straightened her skirt under the table and cleared her throat. "I want you to stop seeing Roxas." There it was, on the table.

"I'm not seeing Roxas." I replied, looking her dead in the eye with a very serious expression on my face. I glanced quickly to the side to see if Larxene was having any sort of reaction to this and therefore didn't see the slap coming.

"Don't lie to me!" Selphie hissed at me and sat herself back in her seat trying to regain her composure. My cheek THROBBED where she'd hit me but I tried not to let on. Larxene looked livid.

"Look," I sighed and took a _long _sip from my beer, "I don't know what you expected to hear but I'm telling you the truth."

"I came up here to talk to you like an adult, please extend me the same courtesy." She stared at me like she wanted to claw my eyes out. "I know that you're seeing Roxas, I know that he's here to see you."

I looked at her face trying to gauge her mood beyond simply being pissed off. "I told you, I'm not seeing him. In fact, I haven't even spoken with him in nearly a month."

"Why can't you just tell me the truth?!" She shouted but then looked around realizing that she was about to cause a scene.

"I am telling you the truth. You keep trying to make this into something that it's not. You want me to stop seeing Roxas, well we're barely even friends, will that suffice?" I growled at her quietly across the table.

"You're not the first you know." She stirred her drink miserably, "I just thought that it would stop when he asked me to marry him. I thought he was done with it all."

"What made you think that I was even seeing him in the first place?" I asked cautiously.

"Tidus told me what was going on; he's always looked out for me, like a brother. And then when you showed up at his house- I recognized your name, that's why I shoved the ring in your face. I wanted to show you that you couldn't have him, that he was mine. Your reaction spoke volumes you know." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat but tried to keep my fidgeting in check.

"Why did you stay with him if you thought he was cheating on you?"

She laughed lightly. "He's my life. I love him."

I finished my beer and made to stand up. "Well, good luck with that." I muttered almost sarcastically.

"He's not a fag." She said point blank, locking her eyes with mine. "Stay away from him."

I put my jacket on and left some money on the table. "That shouldn't be too hard." I smiled at her, "have a nice life." I waved and walked away.

I hate the dawning realization of so many snarky comments that come to you once you walk away from a situation. My head began to fill with all of the possible things that I could have said to Selphie and the majority of them made me laugh- not to mention made me seem a lot cooler in my mind.

I walked slowly, knowing that at any moment Larxene would catch up to me, and sure enough she did. "I can't believe she slapped you!" Her hands were immediately on my face examining the damage.

"I know, right? Bitch." I cursed and continued to walk.

Larxene threaded her arm with mine. "I guess it's understandable though. You did win after all."

I realized that we looked like some old married couple walking down the sidewalk. "Lark, I don't think getting slapped or yelled at in a bar constitutes me winning anything." She said nothing but grinned up at me. "What?" I asked her, wondering just where that smile came from.

"You didn't notice, did you?" Her smile grew and she hugged onto my arm tighter.

"Just tell me already! Was her dress tucked into her pantyhose or something?"

She laughed out loud and kissed me on the cheek. "I looked at her hand after she'd slapped you- you know, to make sure that she didn't do the bitch thing and turn her ring inside to gouge your face when she struck you." She grinned again, "She wasn't wearing an engagement ring."

I rolled my eyes and at her. "She's probably getting it sized or something."

Larxene stopped walking and stood in front of me. "That girl would not have come all the way up here to confront you without that ring on. Trust me on this one." I couldn't help the goofy smile that was spreading over my face. God I hated myself.

"I should txt Roxas and at least give him a heads up that she is here." I pulled out my phone but Larxene stopped me.

"No, better yet, call him."

"He won't answer." I told her flat out.

"It doesn't matter, leave him a voicemail message, then he'll have to hear your voice. Don't mention that you noticed that she didn't have the ring on." She was enjoying this too much.

I reluctantly called his number, surprisingly it rang four times before he obviously pushed me into his voicemail. "Hey Roxas, I just wanted to give you a heads up that Selphie was in the area- and she doesn't seem happy at all. I denied everything, so good luck with that." I paused before I hung up the phone, "… I miss you."

Larxene was looking at me with a completely sympathetic sappy look on her face. When I asked her 'what' she just gave me puppy dog eyes. "God, Axel, I just want to buy you cookies and things- and give you whatever you want. That was adorable."

"I hate you." I muttered and picked up my pace.

"No, you LOVE me!" Larxene latched onto my arm again. "That poor kid is probably sitting around all indecisive and vulnerable, wondering what to do. You should definitely go take advantage of him!"

* * *

_Axel txt: Is Roxas staying with Riku again?_

_Sora txt: Yes, but I don't know that I'm supposed to tell anyone._

_Axel txt: Tell anyone what?_

_Sora txt: Exactly._

* * *

Considering that Sora obviously wasn't very good at keeping things to himself, though it worked out for my benefit, I called on Kairi's services. Thankfully she knew where Riku lived and was happy to supply me with this information.

I'd had enough of Roxas sitting in the coffee shop and not talking to me. It wasn't fair that he could sneak up on me whenever he wanted. I called into work and waited outside of Riku's apartment building for Roxas to leave. While I sat there I wondered why Sora wasn't jealous of the fact that Roxas was staying with Riku- who only just recently decided to be monogamous. These people baffled me.

Riku had already left, and I made no effort to hide myself from him. He smiled at me and shook his head in amusement. A half an hour later Roxas emerged from the building and turned around to make sure that the door was shut. I took this time to get a little closer and it wasn't hard to fall into step behind him when he was done. "Are you perhaps going to get some coffee?" I asked, nearly an arm's distance behind him.

Roxas spun around so fast that we nearly collided. His surprise seemed genuine and I was sure that Riku hadn't warned him. I thought that was funny. He opened his mouth to say something, thought the better of it and turned to continue walking.

"Are you still ignoring me, Roxy?" I asked with my hands clasped behind my back, _clearly_ enjoying this too much. It was a whole new game now that I knew that he'd broken off his engagement. Roxas didn't say anything. My confidence was sky-high, it felt good to know that whatever was between us affected him too. "That's too bad. You know, having you around all the time now is making it very hard for me to forget about you."

He turned and glanced back at me over his shoulder but still said nothing and continued to walk. We'd covered about a block now but still had three more to go until we got to Starbucks. "How's school going? Oh wait, you're on break now, right?" No answer. "You know, you should keep studying even though you're not in school, don't want to get rusty. Actually, if you want, I can help you study." Still nothing, so I closed the distance between us and got very close to his ear, "We can go back to my apartment and play doctor."

That one got him. He stopped abruptly and I had a hard time not colliding with him. "What is your problem?" He asked hotly.

I had thought it was obvious, "I'm trying to get in your pants and you're not letting me?"

"Go away, Axel." He said in a softer tone and was walking again.

"No, I don't think I will." I caught up with him easily. "Come on, Doctor Roxas."

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked, almost pained.

"Because your tight little bottom just calls out to me and I can't resist." I grinned a toothy grin at him and he just stared back. "That and I miss you incredibly."

He looked up at me hopefully, "Are you saying that you want to pretend that nothing happened?" I nodded and stepped closer to him. "Things can be the way they were before?"

"Is that what you want?" I asked raking over his face with my eyes.

"I want you." He said pointedly looking me directly in the eye.

I laughed, "I know." It didn't matter to me that we were in the middle of the street where anyone could see us, I held him to me just glad to have him back. "Are you going to still be my unfriendly stalker at Starbucks?"

He just laughed in response, "You're such an ass."

"Yes, but you couldn't help watching my ass get coffee every day, could you?" I leaned down to kiss him.

"I was afraid that you were going to forget about me." He said but looked off to the side.

I motioned for us to keep walking, despite what he may think, I actually did want caffeine. "I thought that was the point, you know, of you not talking to me and us not seeing each other any more."

"It was, I guess, but it didn't seem fair that I couldn't forget about you." There was an absolutely endearing blush covering his face.

"You're a sadistic bastard, you know that?" I laughed out and he smiled while watching his feet move over the pavement.

From the look that Sora gave us when we walked into the shop you would have thought that we were naked or something. It was absolutely priceless. "Uh, hey guys?" He said as more of a question than a greeting. "Are you talking to each other again?"

"Of course!" I answered for the both of us, "Roxy can't stay away from me; I'm just too damn irresistible." Roxas just rolled his eyes and took his normal seat near the window.

Apparently satisfied that Roxas was out of hearing range, Sora leaned over the counter towards me. "You're ok with everything?" He asked skeptically.

I nodded my head. "I guess I have to be." Sora smiled weakly back at me though I couldn't understand why; my guess was that he didn't know about Roxas breaking off his engagement with Selphie yet.

* * *

After minimal persuasion, Roxas agreed to stay at my place instead of Riku's for the rest of his visit. I found myself stupidly staring at Roxas for extended periods of time, therefore it was a welcome distraction when we reached my apartment and found that Demyx and Zexion were there. "My roommate is home."

"Is it ok?" Roxas looked at me unsure. "I mean that I'm here?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I didn't understand his hesitation and pushed my way into the apartment.

Demyx was sitting on the couch playing around with his bass while Zexion read a magazine, his feet tucked under him on the opposite end. Without even looking up, Demyx called over to me, "Dude, Lark wants to go to dinner tonight."

"Why look Dem, Axel's brought home an afternoon delight." Zexion grinned over at me and Roxas while tapping Demyx to get his attention. "S'bout time you stopped moping over that Roxy kid, or whatever his name was."

Demyx's head picked up and he caught sight of our guest. "Roxas!" He set his bass down in the process, "Good to see you man." Zexion's face momentarily flashed with surprised but he was back to grinning soon enough.

"This is Demyx and Zexion." I pointed them out respectively, "This is Roxas." Demyx smiled warmly at the introduction while Zexion' grin only widened, slightly evilly if I do say so myself, at Roxas. I turned to Roxas and saw him glaring at Zexion. "Where did she want to go to dinner?"

I had to take a piss like you wouldn't believe, that coffee was going right through me, but I felt weird leaving Roxas alone with these two. Well actually just Zexion at the moment. Had that 'afternoon delight' comment actually bothered him? Demyx just shrugged on the couch and Zexion answered for him. "She wants to go to LaSerre, apparently it's her new man's favorite place to eat."

"All right, I just have to take care of some things. I'll get back to you later." I started to usher Roxas towards my bedroom to see if he even wanted to go to dinner and to find out what his problem with Zexion was.

Demyx was laughing from the couch, "Roxas, if you need me to protect you, just say so."

"Oh," Roxas turned around and smiled at Demyx, "I think he's used to _handling himself_ by now." He made a crude gesture near his crotch and Demyx was set into another round of laughter.

Rolling my eyes I pushed Roxas into my room and shut the door behind us. As soon as the door snapped shut we were like two strong magnets that crashed together from the forceful pull of attraction. It had been too long. "You know, if someone wasn't such a prick tease then I wouldn't have to be _handling myself_ at all."

Roxas grinned knowingly and started undoing my belt. "The way I heard it, you were trying out some cheap substitute while I was out of the picture." My hands stilled and I looked at him questioningly. He took advantage of my temporary confusion and pushed me forcefully onto my bed. "I'm not worried," he pulled his shirt off over his head "I bet I can do better."

He crawled onto me and went straight for the sensitive area below my ear. "What are you talking about? I haven't been with anyone since I was with you last." His ministrations slowed and soon his face was hovering over mine.

"Axel, do you really expect me to believe that YOU haven't had sex in a month? Come on." He smiled down at me. I lightly stroked his sides and just smiled up at him in response. Leaning up, I placed a sweet kiss to his lips. "You're serious?" He asked with a bit of shock, "You really haven't?"

"Say it a little louder I don't think Dem and Zexion heard you in the other room." I rolled my eyes.

He looked down at me skeptically, "But Kairi told me that you… and… that blue hair bastard…" Mumbling, he looked away.

"What?" And then it clicked. Kairi must have told Roxas about the near mistake that Zexion and I almost made at Demyx's show. "Oh!" I started to laugh and drew him closer to me, "Is that why you were trying to decapitate Zexion with your eyes earlier?"

He blushed and quickly ducked his head into the crook of my neck. "Really?" I could feel the vibrations and hot breath against my neck, "There was no one else?"

I laughed again, "No, just you." I laughed harder and said dramatically, "Take me, Roxy, I'm all yours."

His head came out from its hiding place and kissed me on the lips, "Shut up or maybe I will." His hips ground down onto me.

"I didn't say you couldn't." Seriousness replaced my laughter and I found myself just staring at him again.

I could tell that he was a bit astonished but he recovered quickly, "Maybe later, right now I doubt that those two in the other room really want to hear you screaming my name. Besides," his hand slid down the front of my pants and grabbed my cock, "I've missed this."

I did make an honest effort, for Demyx's sake, to keep our noises to a minimum but it HAD been a while. "Wanna skip dinner and make up for lost time?" I asked him while still basking in the after glow.

"I kind of want to meet Larxene." He said turning his head sideways to look at me. "Does she know about me too?"

I nodded, "Yeah, she does, she's one of my best friends."

"I still can't believe that you told people about me. I was SURE that I was your dirty little secret."

"Does it bother you that I did?" He shook his head no. "To be fair, you WERE my _dirty little secret _in the beginning but-"

"Don't say it," he cut me off, "I know." He sat up and looked down at me, "You've got some issues, you know that?"

I leaned over and tried to give him a hickey on his ass cheek before he squirmed away, "Yeah, I know."

We got dressed and rejoined Dumb and Dumber in the living room about 2 hours later when I was guessing it was close to dinner.

"Oh come on, Lark!" Demyx whined into the phone and looked between me and Zexion. "What if I just pretended that I'm mentally retarded instead?" He grumbled with a huff and I could hear Larxene laughing on the other end. "Fine, but you owe me for this. We'll see you in a bit."

"What was that all about?" Zexion asked with mild amusement, if I didn't know better, I'd have bet that he already knew what the conversation had been about.

"She wants me to pretend that I'm gay when I meet her boyfriend." It was hard to make out what he'd said, what with the grumbling and all. "She doesn't want to make him feel insecure at dinner surrounded by all guys."

I heard Roxas laugh beside me and I had to join him. "Oh come on, Dem," I said throwing an arm around him as we walked out the door, "just be the biggest flamer that you can be and make her regret asking you." He sighed, already resigned to his fate.

When we reached the restaurant Larxene's face beamed as soon as she saw Roxas approach the table. "Is this Roxas?" she asked me and I nodded. Her date was a very well groomed blond with a goatee and earrings.

"Really Lark, what if he wasn't Roxas? Seriously, that would have been fun to explain." I muttered darkly.

She slapped me in the arm. "Like you would have brought anyone else to dinner with us-"

"I'm having doubts about doing so now!" I interrupted and sulked a bit.

"-you", she motioned to Roxas, "have this idiot by the shorts!" The table laughingly agreed much to my chagrin.

Roxas just smiled slyly and shot a look over at me. I could tell that he was thinking something diabolically evil and that it was going to pour from his mouth to only cement my torture. I waited with baited breath, but nothing came. His sinister smirk changed, not softer, but more seductive and I suddenly realized that I looked like a jackass staring at him when the laughter erupted again. I was about a half a second away from flinging a salt shaker at Demyx's forehead when I excused myself to the bathroom.

I heard Roxas laugh as I walked away. "No wonder we weren't introduced earlier, Axel must have known he couldn't take it from all angles!" Larxene agreed and it seemed as though her and Roxas were falling into an easy friendship.

Instead of going to the bathroom I ended up outside for a smoke. I knew that they were just kidding around, but I wasn't used to being on the receiving end of all of this. _**I**_ was supposed to be the one taking the piss out of _**THEM**_ for being hung up on someone like this.

Like all of the other things I'd been wrong about concerning Roxas in my life, I'd been wrong about my worry over him meeting my friends. They'd accepted him, more importantly, they'd accepted me and now we were all sitting down like it had been this way all along. Well they were sitting there- my ass was sulking and licking my wounds outside.

"Larxene is something else." A voice spoke beside me and I heard the flick of a lighter follow. I turned to see her date standing next to me with a cigarette between his teeth. "I'm sorry, how rude of me," he held his hand out, "I'm Luxord." His English accent made me think he was a spy of sorts. Larxene had dated stranger.

"Axel." I said shaking his hand. "So how long have you two been seeing one another?"

"About a week or so, it took me a while to understand her 'unique' situation." There was no doubt in my mind why Larxene was with this guy. Don't start thinking that I was into him, because I wasn't. It's just that I could see her dating him only to listen to him talk. She was a sucker for an accent.

I nodded in agreement, "I'm not going to give you the best friend spiel about treating her right and all that jazz. So you can relax."

His eyebrow raised and he butted his smoke. "Oh and why is that?"

I finished mine as well and grabbed for the door, "Because, I'd be more worried about her abusing you." He laughed and we made our way back to the table.

Larxene turned and smiled up at me brightly. "Did you have fun jerking off in the bathroom?"

"Hurr hurr!" I goofed and noticed that the laughs around me weren't quite genuine. Did they honestly think that I'd- "Guys, come on" I started, "you don't honestly think that I spanked it in the bathroom?!" Demyx shot soda out of his nose, Zexion rolled his eyes, Larxene just nodded 'YES' and Roxas smiled oddly at me.

Dinner was a good time. Zexion took advantage of the fact that Demyx was pretending to be gay and sidling up against him. Larxene tried her best to keep Luxord talking as much as possible, and Roxas seemed a bit off. I attributed his strangeness to meeting new people.

Demyx had a show tonight but I figured that sitting this one out was probably for the best. If Roxas was uncomfortable at dinner, I'd rather it be just the two of us tonight. Demyx seemed to understand and even went as far as to say that he'd stay at his drummer's place for the night.

I walked into the apartment behind Roxas and threw my jacket down on the couch while he just watched me. "What's up with you?" I asked forcing a smile. "We have the whole place to ourselves tonight." I informed him when it didn't look like he was going to answer my previous question.

"You didn't tell me that Selphie came to see you." He said not looking at me directly. I shrugged and headed for the kitchen. Yes I did, I called him to warn him! A moment later I heard him follow. "She slapped you?" He came up behind me while I rummaged through the 'sin' cabinet. The sin cabinet was where Demyx and I stored our vices. There was a half empty carton of cigarettes and a collection of liquor bottles, all in various stages of consumption.

"It doesn't matter." I turned around to smile at him and he winced. My face dropped and gave him my full attention. "Roxas, what's going on?"

"I don't want to do this again", he said to himself.

"Do what?" I was starting to get a little freaked out here, was he saying that he'd suddenly figured out that he didn't want to be with me? Jebus.

Without saying another word he crossed the short distance slowly and stood before me. Leaning up he pulled me towards his face to kiss me. These weren't like his usual 'I want you **now**' kisses, these were, for a lack of a better word, sensual. His movements were slow and deliberate and I felt myself melting into him. In my head I was doing a little celebration dance because it seemed like he'd finally caught on and that this time was going to be different. This wasn't just a fuck.

* * *

Eventually Roxas had to return to school. I half heartedly tried to convince him to live in my closet and that the most amount of clothing that he would be allowed to wear was boxers- or bunny ears. He said no, go figure.

The weeks were going by, most weekends I would drive out to Roxas' school to pick him up and some weekends he'd take the bus to see me. The weather was freezing and it was comforting to be able to just sit, piled on top of one another on the couch and watch a movie. Demyx complained that Roxas and I were forming our own language and admitted that he had no idea what we were talking about a lot of the time.

* * *

The smell of cake was filling the kitchen and I found myself drooling while sitting impatiently on a stool at the counter. Roxas had learned of my weakness for sweets and confections by watching me nearly orgasm over a box of pastries that Lexaeus had sent home with Demyx for me. To placate me he had given me the mixing bowl and the beaters. I LOVED this kid.

"You should cook with an apron on," I gestured towards his jeans and t-shirt with my chocolaty beater, "and nothing else."

Roxas rolled his eyes upward, "I wouldn't get so much on me if I was making this cake alone."

"Come 'ere, you missed a big chunk." I waved him over to where I was sitting.

He searched all over for the alleged chocolate. "Where?"

As soon as he got within reach I smeared batter down his neck, pulled him into me, "Here" and proceeded to clean him off with my tongue.

* * *

"Why are you looking at me like I have magic eyebrows?" I asked. We were sitting at the diner and Roxas' staring was severely handicapping my sugar packet sculpture building.

He didn't stop staring but smiled instead. "You look very good when you're distracted and busy." Instead of flicking over my building, like he usually did, he handed me more packets. "I don't know why, but you look different when you think no one is looking at you."

"Um, thanks?"

"I think I need a picture of you."

"Like me naked, sprawled out on a bear skin rug in front of a fire place kind of picture?" I asked hopefully.

He shook his head but laughed. "Maybe; that _would_ just scream you." After another moment he said, "I'm making an Axel video in my head anyway."

"Yeah? What song is it to?" I asked looking up with a grin. "Something badass I hope."

He smiled and stared right at me for a moment before returning his eyes back to the table. "I think I'll keep that part to myself."

"That's not fair." I whined and he smiling, looked out the window.

* * *

"You're SO drunk!" Roxas pointed at me while I was trying to pee in a snow bank, but the end result looked like I was trying to write the cursive alphabet with piss. I heard him come up beside me and he began graffiti-ing the snow bank as well. "You forgot to dot the 'i' and cross the 't'" he said and made a long swipe through my progress.

"You're doing it wrong." I laughed and the piss design war ensued. He was just as drunk as I was and it looked like we were never going to make it back to the apartment at this rate. Hopefully Demyx would pick us up on his way home from the show if he found us passed out in a snow bank covered in piss. Then again, maybe he wouldn't.

* * *

"How're thinngs working out with Roxas?" Larxene asked. She was folding scraps of fabric and lining them up on the table in color order.

"Good." I was there to watch her work. I suppose I could have helped but I didn't feel like it.

"You're not sick of him yet?"

"I don't see how I could be. I don't see him as much as I want to, so I can't see him too much to get sick of him." I picked up a scrap that looked like a bikini top and held it across my chest to model it before she slapped it out of my hand. "How's your Mrs.?'

Larxene shot me a wary look but kept folding her fabric. "I think he's getting depressed. It could just be the time of the year, but I can't help but think that he doesn't like me being happy in a relationship while he's not."

"He can't hold that against you." I argued.

"Then when he tries to escape me and hang out with Demyx, he has to see you and Roxas all lovey-dovey together- I don't think he's getting over Dem."

"Lark, we can't be responsible for that. What are we supposed to do? All be miserable until he figures out what will make him happy?"

"Can't you just get Roxas to sprinkle his magic 'fairy' dust on Demyx, like he did with you, and make him gay?" I think she was actually half serious there.

"Roxas better not be sharing that magic fairy dust with anyone but me." It surprised me that I found myself growling that one. Larxene just laughed and modeled a scrap that looked like Cher's V bodysuit.

"To make it worse, an immigration officer is coming to check up on us. We both thought it best for him to move his personal objects into my room- you know, so we could make his room look like the spare bedroom- and holy crap does that boy have some sex toys." She was honestly amazed. "It's kind of awkward, and he still sleeps in the other room, but I can tell that we're both uncomfortable."

I nodded in understanding. "What does Luxord think of all this? I'm assuming that he hasn't been over to spend the night recently."

"God Axel, he's physically the man of my dreams, and the accent, but ugh!"

My mind paused, why did I feel like a 'girlfriend'? "Lark? Are you my fag hag?"

She stopped what she was doing and looked at me before bursting out laughing. "Holy fuck, Axel. Thank you, I needed that." She kept laughing. I muttered under my breath.

* * *

My head was resting on Roxas stomach and he was flipping through the channels. I pushed his shirt up and blew farts on his stomach with my mouth while he batted at my head in an attempt to get me to stop tickling him. The wet squelching sound seemed to have irritated Zexion and I felt his stare. "Go in your room if you're going to do that." He warned.

"Hey! I live here, you don't. If you don't like it, leave." I went back and blew a particularly juicy one on Roxas' stomach and he grinned down at me. I don't think Roxas ever really got over his aversion to Zexion and I could tell that he liked to see him suffer. I settled more comfortably onto Roxas. "You should skip classes tomorrow and hang out with me all day."

"I've been here all weekend, Axel. I need to go to class, I don't want to be a dumbass like you." Even though the words were mocking he was running his fingers through my hair in a soothing way.

"Meh." I complained.

"Bawww", Zexion scoffed from the arm chair, "poor little Axel has to spend his birthday all alone tomorrow."

"Shut up!" I threw a couch pillow across the room at him.

"For real, tomorrow's your birthday?" Roxas nudged my head. I grudgingly nodded. "Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe Demyx actually kept it a secret either."

"Well I doubt that Demyx would have suspected that you DIDN'T know." Zexion answered for me.

"Shit, I have a test tomorrow afternoon that I need to take but I can-"

"Don't worry about it." I said waving him off. "It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is, it's your birthday!" Roxas argued and bucked his hips to dislodge me.

This is what I didn't want to happen, I didn't want him to make a big deal out of it. "Fine, how about this, we'll pretend that TODAY is my birthday instead." I sat up on the couch and looked at him.

"I didn't even get you anything." He complained and Zexion just looked on.

I waggled my eyebrows at him suggestively, "I know what you _could _give me."

"Yes, Roxas please give it to him and get him out of here." Zexion complained when he stood up and snatched the remote from the end of the couch where Roxas had left it.

"I feel shitty for not knowing it was your birthday now." Roxas complained and smacked me in the arm.

I got up and pulled him off the couch, "Come on, I'll make you feel better."

"I hate you!" Zexion grumbled at us when we were heading towards our room. Did I say our room? Fuck, I meant my room.

Once in the safety of MY room with the door closed, I picked him up and wrapped his legs around my waist. "Seriously, why didn't you tell me? I look like a jerk off forgetting your birthday."

"I didn't want you to make a big deal out of it." I kissed him in reassurance and walked over to the bed. Sitting down I flopped back and took him with me since his arms were around my neck.

"I still feel like a jerk. What do you want for your birthday? I'll get you something for the next time that I see you." He asked his chin resting on my chest and the rest of his body inline with mine.

I wrapped my arms around him, "A nap?"

"A nap? You want to sleep."

It was dark and cozy in my room and I was still warm from lying on the couch. A nap with the human blanket Roxas was a great notion right now. I closed my eyes and nodded my head. His fingers were just escaping the ends of the sleeves of the sweatshirt that I loaned him and the hood was acting as a fluffy pillow behind his neck above me. Snuggling closer to me I couldn't imagine anything else that I could want more. "I love you, Roxas."

"I love you too."

Except that.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the wait. To try to make it up to you, I saved the end of this chapter for the beginning of the next chapter. I figured it was about time that I ended a chapter on a high note instead.


	9. Part 9 The End

I don't own KH.

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* * *

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Life Out of Costume

Part 9

* * *

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the times REALLY good shit happens to people that definitely don't deserve it, and vice versa? I know that I shouldn't say they don't deserve it because really, who am I to know whether or not these people are swayed by that bearded old fart on TV asking for donations to save third world kids? Maybe that's what Aerith does then because she's a bitch but look what's happening to her now!

It turns out that Aerith really WAS knocked up by Cloud, she really DID go to get an abortion and the doctor fucked it up- royally. Naturally, Cloud seeing the silver lining to the whole situation persuaded Aerith to sue the doctor. No one guessed that they would receive a million dollar settlement for Aerith's pain and loss. She whined about a hysterectomy and all that jazz, but I just figured it was a means to an end. I certainly never wanted to see her procreate, did you?

There you have it, this poor Dr. Sephiroth, who in my mind did the world a favor by soiling Aerith's loins, is sued and out of practice and these asshats are millionaires. Life wasn't fair some times.

Going in that same vein, of life not being fair, I picked my head up and looked out of my cubicle just in time to see Rikku walk by and shoot me a sneer. That wasn't the bad part though, oh no, I was used to her hating me by now. No, the bad part was that her passing was followed by an "Alex?"

Rikku pulled up short and back peddled to stare into my cubicle and then back at her friend that was following her. I turned again to look out and instantly regretted it. There standing next to Rikku was Yuna, the girl that Xigbar had hooked me up with at his party, you know, the succubus. Fuck, I wanted to throw my stapler at them and run while they were distracted.

"HEY!" She smiled as she walked towards me and I wheeled myself to the furthest corner of my cube. "How've you been? Rikku, this is that guy- you know the one I was telling you about." She motioned with her eyebrows and had that look- yeah, THAT look. I was proud of myself and my studliness for a hot second before the situation and all of its horror returned to me.

"Yuna, that's Axel." Rikku said flatly while staring straight at me. "He has herpes and ass warts."

"WHAT?!" Yuna shrieked in revulsion.

I just shook my head and turned back to my computer screen. "Come on, Yuna, we're going to be late for lunch." Rikku pulled her away, "I've wasted enough time on him already."

* * *

"You would not _believe_ how much of a douche bag that guy was!" Zexion huffed as he threw himself down on our couch. I didn't pay much attention because he'd been whining a lot lately and half the time it was about trivial shit that no one cared about.

"But you guys passed right? You're ok?" As always, Demyx was there to feed right into him.

Zexion nodded and pulled out a bag from his jacket pocket. "Do you have any papers?" I pointed towards the drawer in the end table. "Vexen, that was the immigration guy's name, said that everything looked to be in order even if we were on the eccentric side of the spectrum."

I laughed, "So pretty much he was saying that he knew you were gay, but couldn't prove anything?"

"That's the impression I got." Zexion nodded in ascent.

Demyx looked rather thoughtful and you could tell that he was pondering something that was probably going to sound just the opposite of profound. "Do you think he thought that Larxene was a lesbian too?"

Immediately Zexion and I started laughing. "Oh god, I hope so." Demyx pouted but handed over his lighter when Zexion mimed for it.

"So how much longer are you two 'love birds' going to need to live together?" I asked before lighting the joint that Zexion just rolled.

He shrugged in response, "I don't know, but it's not like I'm in any hurry to move out anyway. Where would I go?"

"True."

"It's too bad that we didn't have room for you here." Demyx started, "You're here most of the time anyway." That was certainly true. Lately it had felt like there were four of us living here on the weekends.

That gave me an idea, "I wanted to ask you about something, Dem. What would you think of Roxas moving in with us for the summer? You know, like when he's out of school. It's a pain in the ass for me to drive the two hours that it would take to get to his parents' house."

The room went silent and I wondered if I'd crossed a line. Demyx was the first to react, "Did you ask Roxas if he'd even want to move in here?"

"No, I wanted to run it by you first. If you don't want him to, it's fine." I muttered.

Demyx shook his head and Zexion took advantage of the fact that we weren't paying attention and started Bogarting the joint. "Axel," Demyx sighed, "I don't think that Roxas would move in with us."

"Pffft, sure he would, Dem! I mean come on, he practically lives here now!" I argued and motioned for Zexion to pass.

"Fuck, why am **I** in the middle of this?!" Demyx's suddenly violent reaction was not at all expected. He stood up and walked to the other side of the room.

"What? In the middle of what? Zexion, do you know what's going on?" Zexion just shook his head and looked on like we were acting out a sitcom or something. "Dem?"

Demyx appeared to calm for a moment and looked straight at me a bit sadly, "You really love him a lot, don't you?" I nodded; truthfully I was a little dumbfounded watching him flip like this. He shook his head in frustration, "Look, there's… I'm not really the one to explain this… Fucking, Larxene!"

I looked to Zexion to see if he was going to provide any further insight into this matter, but he was just looking down into his lap. "What the hell, Dem. Seriously, if this is about me asking if Roxas could stay with us, pretend that I didn't say anything."

"Axel, how are you going to explain this to your mom? We only have a two bedroom apartment and you know how she likes to drop off shit for you unexpectedly." He had resumed our conversation with a renewed vigor.

"I was…" I looked around for a way to explain this without sounding completely gay. Hahahha, gay. "I was thinking about introducing Roxy to my parents- well my mom anyway- and you know, sort of explaining things and what not."

His eyes went wide and he crossed the room towards me in a near panic state. "Dude, listen, Larxene lied to you, ok? Roxas never broke off his engagement." He stared me straight in the eye as he said it.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. This wasn't even a funny joke. I looked again at Zexion who still hadn't looked up during the course of our conversation, he must have known too. I had no reason to believe that Demyx was lying to me, because it was Demyx and I'd like to believe that he wouldn't do that to me. I realized that I was staring blankly across the room. "What?" It's not like I wanted him to repeat what he'd said, I just couldn't form any other sentence.

No one said anything and I could tell that Zexion had let the joint burn out in the ashtray. Demyx backed away from me as I felt around in my pocket for my phone, flipped it open a dialed Larxene's number. She picked up after a couple of rings, "Hello, daaaaaaaarrrrrrling!" Well at least someone was in a good mood.

"Hey, Lark." I swallowed nervously. Half of me wanted to hang up the phone now and not even ask my questions. "Is there something that you'd like to tell me?"

"Quit it Axel, you know I hate playing these games. Just say what you need to say." Her tone was still light, bordering on amused.

"Roxas never broke it off with her, did he?" I croaked my question and she was silent on the other end.

"Axel," and I knew it was coming, she didn't deny it, and she was going to try to placate me with reasoning. "It seemed like it would be a good idea. You were so hurt-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yelled into the phone, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"-and I figured that it was going to be one of those things that you two just ended up growing apart anyway. I honestly didn't think it would even last as long as it has." Her voice was quiet; she was probably waiting for me to flip out some more. "I was happy when he went along with it, I thought it was the best for you."

"What?" Hold on, what the hell… "Roxas knew that I thought he was single?"

"Well can you blame him for not telling you? He got what he wanted out of it by keeping his mouth shut." Now she was defending him and their sick little plan to fuck me over?

I looked around at Demyx and Zexion who were staring at me, "You all knew, you were all in on it, weren't you?" Zexion's head bobbed in affirmation while Demyx just looked away pointedly.

"You're over reacting!" Her voice was suddenly very loud in the phone, "You've been the happiest I've seen you in forever these past months."

"It was six months! SIX MONTHS! …and it was all based on a lie." I mumbled and I could feel the anger boiling up inside me. I felt miserable and I didn't want to believe it. Was I the only one that had any feelings at all invested in this? Were they ever planning to tell me? I was used to Larxene doing things and telling me they were for my own good, but this was a little far fetched. That didn't matter to me right now though, I couldn't believe that _he'd_ _KNOWN_ and he let me go on believing the lie.

Rage like I hadn't felt in a long time roiled up inside me until it burst and I launched my phone at the wall, effectively shattering it into pieces.

"Dude-" Demyx said looking at me like I'd just turned into the Incredible Hulk.

"Don't talk to me." I said, grabbed my coat and stalked out of the apartment making sure to slam the door forcefully behind me.

WHY was he still with her? God I felt so stupid all over again! I trudged down the wet sidewalk with no real destination in mind. Things had been going so well, I had been so happy. I actually thought that he'd loved me back- and maybe he did. I'd never brought up the Selphie situation because we'd agreed to act like it'd never happened and I was more then willing to pretend that she didn't exist.

Hours later found me in a local bar that catered to the older end of the population. I was easily the youngest person in the bar by at least three decades and it suited me just fine. These weathered bar flies were happy enough to just tie one on and skip conversation all together and thanks to my less than slick moves with my phone I couldn't call anyone.

By now I was sure that Larxene had contacted Roxas to let him know what had transpired and I felt betrayed all over again as this realization sunk in. I stared at the drink in front of me, still the first one that I'd ordered. I didn't really want to get drunk right now, I valued a clear mind. I didn't want to just forget.

The night had settled in and I eventually finished my drink. The walk home didn't seem to take long enough and sooner than I'd expected, I found myself staring at the front door of my apartment. The lights were off and it didn't look like Demyx was home. I found my way to my bed and passed out for the night.

I woke up the next morning with a slight headache that only grew in massive proportions when yesterday's events came back to me. Wasn't this the recipe for a super villain? I could put on some tights and terrorize any couple that I found canoodling in the streets. I'd of course have to have some pretty swanky name, I was in tights after all. Maybe Sinister Sin or Poor Broken Loser- yeah, the last one seemed more accurate right now.

I went through my morning routine and there were no signs of Demyx anywhere. I distractedly chewed my Corn Pops and mulled things over. I'd been in this situation for MONTHS now and didn't realize it. Would it be so bad to just keep things the way that they were? I wasn't some whiney cry baby that was going to get upset if my- food stuck in my throat- **boyfriend** screwed some moronic girl who possessed all of the values that I hated and none of the vices that I admired. Oh wait, yes I was. I was a possessive asshole, I'll admit it. Not to mention that I'd been lied to. Maybe that rage was more prominent.

The chair across from me scraped out across the floor and then Roxas was sitting down in front of me. I didn't even hear him come in. Wow, I was distracted. "How's it going?" He asked and I looked up at him with a temporary manic gleam in my eye but it passed soon enough.

"Fine, fine." I nodded casually. "What brings you here so early in the morning?"

He looked at me strangely, probably trying to figure out what my deal was. I mean after all, I was just let in on their conspiracy, wasn't I? "I wanted to see you. I know that you found out."

"Oh?"

"Well, you haven't thrown your chair or mushy cereal at me yet, so I suppose there's hope." He motioned towards my Pops that had, in fact, grown quiet mushy indeed. "What are you thinking about?"

I paused, still hunched over my cereal. It occurred to me that he was fully dressed for the day and I was in naught but a pair of pajama pants. "Us."

"Me too." He hunched over and rested his head on his folded arms on the table. "I don't want to lose you, Axel." I didn't respond. "That much was probably clear from my previous actions. Larxene told me about the lie," it sounded like he was trying to come clean here, "and I saw my opportunity. It was when we went out to dinner to meet Luxord, do you remember? I had wondered why you'd all of the sudden forgiven me and taken me back but didn't want to question it for fear that you'd realize your mistake. It made sense when Lark told me what she'd done and I ran with it. I want to say that I'm sorry, but I'm not. I didn't want to be without you again."

"Why are you still with her?" I felt myself asking though I don't remember giving my mouth permission to speak.

"Because it's easy and I'm a coward."

"I don't play well with others and I certainly don't share, Roxas." He nodded into his arms and didn't look at me. "I'm not ok with this. I can't just keep going on KNOWING this. It isn't like before, I won't get a girlfriend or someone else to make us equal- there isn't a balance."

"Oh god, I think I'd kill you if you were seeing someone else." He said startled with all seriousness.

"Why are you here Roxas?"

"I didn't want to give you the opportunity to ignore me again."

I straightened up and pushed my bowl away from me, "I couldn't ignore you."

"Good because we've already found out that I couldn't ignore you even when I tried." He chuckled darkly to himself. "I do love you, you moron."

"I love you too, asshole."

He crowded in on the table and looked at me intensely. "Ask me then. Ask me not to leave- ask me to stay."

"What?"

"I want to know that if I do what I'm planning to do that it won't be for nothing. I want to know that I haven't fucked up everything with you already." What? Was he getting at what I thought he was? Was he going to leave her?

I toyed with the idea of telling him no and watching him suffer the way I had, the way I was, but it passed. This was too important to play our stupid games with. "I don't trust you- but I don't want you to walk out of my life."

He pushed his chair back and stood up. "I can live with that." He walked around the table and kissed me on the forehead. "I'll be gone a couple of days- I've got some things to take care of. Will you wait for me?"

I looked down at the table. "You already know I will", I muttered.

I could feel his smile above me before he turned to walk down the hall. I got up and followed him. He paused at the door and looked at me still in the hallway. "I'd honestly expected at least a sucker punch to the jaw."

I crossed the room in three long, menacing strides, but I saw no fear in his eyes. I took his face in my hands and kissed him forcefully, almost painfully.

* * *

In the following days I still wasn't so keen on speaking with Larxene. I didn't care that it was childish and that I'd already pretty much forgiven her. Demyx apologized to me profusely and had been doing the dishes ever since. If I put on some wounded puppy dog eyes I bet I could get him to do my laundry too.

"There's a convention in two weeks, do you want to go?" Sora asked leaning across the counter and running his hand down my arm. Before you go and get the wrong idea here let me explain. Sora has gone and gotten himself a little stalker at work. This girl, clearly still in high school, must be slow as hell. Sora flat out told her that he was gay when she asked him out but she didn't seem to believe him, either that or didn't care. How can anyone NOT see that Sora was gay?

Apparently Sora had begged Riku to come into Starbucks and do unmistakably 'gay things' with him to get this girl to back off. Riku merely laughed at him and wished him good luck. This was where I came into the whole charade. With the promise of free drinks until she was gone, I was more than happy to let Sora flirt outrageously with me.

"Will it be just you and me, alone- no one around to hear you scream while I break you?" I ran a finger down his cheek and watched him blush. Here was an added perk to this whole arrangement. God I loved making him uncomfortable. "You were so _tight_ last time."

Sora's face was beat read and I could tell he was grinding his teeth a little, whether to keep from laughing or because he was disgruntled I wasn't sure, but I'm thinking it was the latter. "I can't wait for later!" He grabbed my tie and pulled me closer, "I'm taking my break", he called over his shoulder to his coworker and pulled me towards the bathroom. He wrenched the door open and threw me inside. It must have looked like he was completely overcome with his manly passion for me to anyone looking on. I was trying to stifle my laughter when he threw a roll of toilet paper at my head.

"Should we thump some stuff around to make more of a show?" I asked fixing my tie in the mirror. It was a single bathroom with only a toilet and a sink. Sora just looked at me with baleful eyes.

"I was serious about the con. You and Roxas haven't come with us in a long time."

I turned to face him, keeping my voice just as soft as his, "I don't know."

I could feel a more serious mood settling over the bathroom and nearly groaned out loud. "Have you heard from him yet?" Yup, thanks Sora, I was actually having fun for a minute there before you had to piss all over it. I shook my head no.

Not talking to Larxene had driven me to talk to Sora, the next best thing to a best female friend that I had. I figured it was only fair if I was helping him keep his sanity in his current situation that he should talk me through my own. I'm such a pansy. Damn.

"It's been almost a week, do you think he's coming back?" Sora asked in a small voice, even softer than the previous whisper we'd been using.

It wasn't like I hadn't toyed with that idea before, but I'd admittedly already looked like too much of a Nancy to admit it out loud to Sora. "Pfffft, please Sora, look at me. Of _course_ he's coming back." Sora looked at me doubtfully. "Come on, I'm so irresistible you had to lock yourself away with me in a bathroom." I sniffed my arm for show, "it must be some crazy pheromone I exude or something." Another roll of toilet paper sailed towards my head.

* * *

_**"Psycho, psycho man!! I've got to be a psycho man!!"**_

My singing was becoming too much, even for me. The drive to Roxas' school was shorter than I remembered it, but that was probably because I was still having my doubts as to whether or not what I was doing was a good idea. It'd been over a week now and I'd almost given up and given in to my fears that Roxas was in fact not coming back. So there I was, driving to his school to be a complete psycho. Don't get me wrong, the thoughts of him purposely ditching me were preceded by the thoughts that something indescribably tragic had happened to him. You know, things along the lines of his father beating him to death with a frozen hunk of steak or Selphie ripping his balls off so that she could procreate with him even if he left her- right, back to my journey.

I pulled up to the diner which sat at the bottom of the hill that Roxas' school was on. The place was nearly deserted, which wasn't surprising considering the time of day. Shuffling through the door, I spotted Flo at the opposite end of the counter and she nodded at me to sit down.

"Where's your little friend? You know, the one I actually like." Flo asked coming over with her little note pad already flipped open.

"Can I just get some coffee for now?" I asked without looking up at her, which was probably my first mistake. Moments later I had a cup of luke-warm, day old coffee sitting in front of me. "Thanks." I grumbled and looked out the window.

Hours went by and I counted that I'd choked down 5 cups of Flo's nasty coffee. I swear this woman was trying to kill me, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that it bothered me in the least. I still hadn't seen any signs of Roxas and I don't really know what I had been expecting in the first place. It was getting late and I still had to drive home. Just as I was about to get up to leave I spotted Hayner in the parking lot and it looked like he'd seen me too.

I watched him enter the diner and I remained seated until he joined me in my booth. "What're you going down here?" His tone wasn't the normal friendly one that I was used to.

"I just HAD to have some of Flo's coffee." I saluted Flo with my cold stale coffee as she walked by and she pulled a face.

"You know you're completely fucking up his life, don't you?" Wow, Hayner, right to the point, huh? "If you actually cared about him, which I don't think you do, you'd just leave him alone."

I leaned forward and rested my chin on my hand. "Go ahead, don't hold back, tell me how you REALLY feel, Hayner", I rolled my eyes from the sarcasm.

"This isn't a joke." He stared me down intently. "Roxas had his whole future lined up and set. He was going to be a successful doctor, have a beautiful wife and be very well off, until you came along. I don't know what you think you're doing but your little game is only hurting him."

"It's not a game." I answered dully. I knew that Hayner was right, every thing he said was true.

"If it's not a game then you're still pretty damn selfish. Say for the sake of argument that you DO care about him. What's going to happen when you guys break up? Or are you retarded enough to think that this puppy love will last forever? Where is Roxas going to be when the novelty wears off? He's going to be fucked- and you know it."

It was true that I had asked Roxas to stay with me. At the time I hadn't even considered what that meant he'd be giving up and honestly probably wouldn't have put too much weight on it since I myself had never had those types of opportunities. "Shut up, Hayner." I sat back and ran my hand through my hair. "Roxas is a big boy, let him worry about it."

"I'm his friend, I worry about him- something you obviously don't understand." He made a grunt of frustration and stood up, "You're an asshole you know that?"

"Right back at 'cha buddy." I winked at him and waved.

Flo followed in Hayner's wake as he stormed away from the table and moments later she was standing next to my booth again. She placed a steaming mug of fresh coffee and a giant handful of sugar packets down in front of me. I looked up at her curiously and she simply smiled and walked away. I felt some of the tension that had been brought on by Hayner slip away as my fingers began to fondle the while envelopes of sugar.

* * *

The day started off just like any other day until I got to work and noticed that the cube across from mine was empty. Aerith wasn't just out for the day, it looked like she was on a more permanent vacation. Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head I wandered over to check my mail box and noticed that Rikku's desk too was emptied. What was going on? Maybe I woke up in some alternate dimension where everyone that I didn't want to see just didn't exist any more. No, wait, I'd just spotted Yuffie. There goes that dream.

"Way to go jerk-face, you chased her off the floor." She said as she shouldered past me.

"What?"

"Rikku, she transferred to another unit because of you. I hope you're happy!" She grumbled at me before launching herself into her seat.

A devious grin broke out across my face, "_Very_!" I started to walk away with a lighter step and perhaps a skip until I remembered something else, " and Aerith? Where is she?"

Yuffie turned away from her monitor and looked at me like I was retarded, "Why the hell would a millionaire keep working here?"

"Good point." I wondered if that meant that Cloud had quit as well. This called for a celebration! Grabbing my wallet from my desk I located Xigbar and we were soon on our way to Starbucks. It was too early yet for a serious drink. As it turned out, Xigbar had started to date Yuna- yes, I finally remembered her as the succubus and now realized that she was Rikku's friend. That was just a whole pile of drama that I was happy to avoid.

I met up with Larxene for lunch, which she graciously paid for, the whole still kissing my ass thing and all. To top it off Xemnas, my boss, took the afternoon off. I had seriously stepped in something today, every thing was just going my way so I decided to pick up some scratch off lotto tickets on my way back to the office- nothing like pushing your luck!

When I got home from work I half expected Demyx to be throwing a wild party on my behalf to celebrate my amazingness or something, but the apartment was empty. Honestly, I had been looking forward to the party in my mind, but got over it soon enough. I went to the bathroom and when I came out I heard voices coming up the stairs to the apartment.

"He's my best friend, don't get me wrong, but he can be an idiot." That was unmistakably Demyx, gee thanks, buddy, he was no doubt talking about me.

"I'm not going to argue with you there!" A female voice answered him, Larxene. "You've got to tell me though, I've been **dying** to know- Is he really _**that **_good in bed? Be honest!"

What the hell?! Why was she asking Demyx that? Good god I was going to be sick.

"Really?! Are you serious?!" Larxene sounded astonished and I was still skeeved out that she was asking Demyx about this- but at least he was talking me up. "I'd be totally jealous if it was anyone but Axel."

"Come on guys, Jesus, I don't need to be here for this discussion." Demyx walked through the door and I shot him a terrified look. I would say that we would have to discuss this later, but this was something that would **never** be discussed again.

Larxene and Roxas followed him in the door and I felt multiple waves of relief wash over me, the most prominent being that Roxas had come back followed shortly by the realization that Larxene _wasn't_ asking Demyx about my sexual performance.

"Look who we found!" Larxene gestured towards Roxas like she was Vanna White. "Can we keep him?!"

I stood up and studied Roxas who just beamed back at me. "I don't know." I rubbed my chin in mock contemplation, "Who's going to feed him, wash him and-"

"-screw his brains out?" Larxene piped in, effectively cutting me off. "I was thinking that could be your job."

"Well, if that's the case, then yes, we can keep him." I leaned down and planted a long over due kiss on Roxas. "A couple of days?" I muttered to him and he knew what I meant.

"The paperwork took longer than I thought it was going to." He answered and kissed me again. Larxene was looking on like we were some sort of show while Demyx coughed and went into the kitchen.

"Wait, what paper work? Were you disowned? Are you suing her for being a bitch? Are you changing your name to _Axel's Love Slave_?" The questions poured out of my mouth and all the while I was looking him over to make sure that his dad didn't actually get to him with that chunk of steak after all- I'd check to make sure that Selphie hadn't gotten to his balls later when Larxene wasn't around.

He tilted his head up and kissed me again and grabbed the front of my shirt. "Paper work for my school loans you moron." I looked at him waiting for further explanation and watched his smiling face turn surprised and his eyebrows shoot into his hairline. "You didn't think I was just going to drop out of school did you?"

"Well I…" I started and realized that was exactly what I'd thought. I figured that Roxas' dad would cut off his funding and he would be out on the street. Why had I let him do this again?

"On the off chance that my parents decided to stop paying for my schooling once I told them about breaking off the engagement and the whole _gay thing_, I'd filed for school loans so that I could continue my education."

"Really? You told them about me?" I looked at him with a smug little smile.

"No, but I did tell them about me. They think it's a phase and that I'll grow out of it. Something about the stress of the engagement to Selphie." He was smiling again and I felt the stupid little smile wipe from my face.

"So you did it then? You told her the engagement was off? You broke up with her?" I looked at him seriously. "Larxene, you can leave any time now." I turned towards her and her staring. She said nothing and kept looking on.

"Yes, Axel, I broke up with her- would I be here if I didn't?"

The skepticism must have been abundantly clear on my face, "Really? You want to fault me for asking that? After last time?"

"Fair enough." He said looking down with a sigh. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

"Not a single bit." I smiled down at him, "but hopefully that will change quickly with you living here this summer."

His head jerked up in confusion, "what?"

"I was thinking that you could live with Dem and me this summer while you're on break." I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I don't know if I could put up with you for a whole summer." He said jokingly, or least he'd better have been joking. "I'd have to sleep with you?" I nodded at his devious tone. "That would mean random joint showers too?" I nodded again.

Demyx walked briskly into the room, "You know, I think I've changed my mind about the whole Roxas moving in thing."

"Too late Dem."

* * *

"Axel, why are you wearing a toga?"

"Because my Sim in Roxas' game cheated on his Sim and he said that I had to make it up to him."

"By wearing a toga?"

"We're reenacting the Roman bathes."

"Of course you are."

Things seemed back to normal and time kept going on.

The End

* * *

A/N: Thank you for sticking with me, reading through this and for all of your reviews, comments, PMs and stuff. I REALLY appreciated every one of them and I'm sorry if I couldn't respond to all of them. Personally I think the ending was a pile of lame but that may be because I hate writing neat little packages that end with sparkles, bubbles and warm fuzzies (but did it anyway).

I'm sorry that Demyx didn't end up with Zexion like some of you had wanted, I just have issues with making EVERYONE in my fic gay- though for some reason I have no problem reading fics where that happens. Can't explain it, sorry.

I don't know why I'm apologizing so much in an author's note, but please leave a comment and let me know what you thought of the fic! Thanks again for reading!


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